Morning With Roger
The paperboy failed to wrap the newspaper completely this morning and so it got wet on one side. This lack of attention to detail, half-assness and indiscipline is just another example of the overall feminization of the American male thought I, as I sipped my frothy Choca Mocha.
I managed to peel the damn paper apart enough to read the obituaries. Peering through my reading glasses, I discovered that I would not need to break out my suit today (actually, I have two funeral suits: I have an Evan-Picone which is my regular funeral suit, and a really nice Palm Beach number I had to pick up last fall after I gained so much weight). Although I saw no familiar names, I couldn’t help but wonder if I had put on enough weight since the last funeral that I would’ve had to wear the fat Palm Beach. This thought quickly faded, however, as I explored the surviving names of the dearly departed. What the hell is the deal with all the hyphened last names? Well, that’s another blog post. I believe I saw some of these men who hyphen their last name in Starbucks a couple of weeks ago when I made my first and only visit there (but that’s another post too).
Having done the best I could with the soggy newspaper, I went online to see what I could read. My email box was once again full of offers for Viagra and weight loss products, but it seems to me that getting in shape, and getting in shape are only half the battle at best. I immediately went to MatchDoctor to check my email here. Thank God for the Russians and the scammers; otherwise my box would remain empty.
I read a forum thread where the OP (that’s “original poster”) complained with very poor grammar about the unwillingness of men to look and see the beauty inside her. She believes that men should ignore the fact that she’s overweight, or at least look past that, and see the real beauty she displays through her misspelled words. I was reminded of the immortal words of Ernest T. Bass:
“I’m a little mean, but I make up for it by bein’ real healthy”
Now, my first thought was that she probably shouldn’t put much hope in this dream. Instead, she should drop a load of weight, install Word (for the spell check), and learn how to compose a sentence that contains both a subject and a predicate. Not many men are going to go for her as she is. But then it hit me: she doesn’t need many men. All she needs is one special guy to make a move and she could be living her dream. Thinking back to my empty mailbox, I contemplated writing her, wooing her with me charm, hooking up with this huge woman, and fulfilling that dream. I decided against that, however, realizing that I could never be happy with anyone except Diane Lane.
The morning is over. Glad you could share it with me.
Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)
|
|
read more blogs!
Blogs by PsychoMagnet:
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| 12 Days of Psycho (Day 6) |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
funisnumber1
|
Dec 19 @ 10:40AM
|
|
Quit pickin' on my blogs.
~*~
I hope your day gets better.
|
|
Tunes4u
|
Dec 19 @ 10:58AM
|
|
|
This lack of attention to detail, half-assness and indiscipline is just another example of the overall feminization of the American male thought I, as I sipped my frothy Choca Mocha.
And I was just about to walk next door to get my frothy Vanilla Latte with a double shot...You say the Choca Mocha is pretty good huh?
Now I don't know what to do.... 
~*~
( Day 6...post 7 ?? ...right? Sorry...it's just a thing...I gotta keep track....) 
|
|
ColdinWisconsin
|
Dec 19 @ 11:25AM
|
|
Kind of like the wet spot on the bed. It's the universes' way of evening things out.
Quit your bitchin'.
~*~
|
|
misschoos
|
Dec 19 @ 12:04PM
|
|
I understand 
|
|
Fender
|
Dec 19 @ 12:58PM
|
|
|
I read a forum thread where the OP (that’s “original poster”) complained with very poor grammar about the unwillingness of men to look and see the beauty inside her. She believes that men should ignore the fact that she’s overweight, or at least look past that, and see the real beauty she displays through her misspelled words.
I started tgat threads.
|
|
missliss78
|
Dec 20 @ 12:06AM
|
|
|
I decided against that, however, realizing that I could never be happy with anyone except Diane Lane.
Well, thanks for confirming that.
I'd always kind of thought it, but well, I'd hoped....
Well, thanks so much for confirming it after all.
Oh yeah.....tunes is still cornfusing me, too!~*~
|
|
redtigr
|
Dec 20 @ 9:25AM
|
|
|
she probably shouldn’t put much hope in this dream. Instead, she should drop a load of weight, install Word (for the spell check), and learn how to compose a sentence that contains both a subject and a predicate.
I tried this, but I still only get illiterate mail from scammers and fat guys who want to see if I have stretch marks... 
When you pry your tongue out of your cheek, will you please tell me what I should do now?
~*~
|
|
|