12 Days of Psycho (Day 10) posted 12/23/2008 5:36:34 PM | 5 kudos what's this?     report abuse

PsychoMagnet

One Day in the Life (Pt 5)

2:45pm: Time to head to work. The radio begins just seconds after I start the car. It’s tuned to an “oldies” station. It has been for months. I’m really not a big fan of “oldies”, but I don’t pay much attention to the radio. Generally what ever song is playing when I start the car is still playing when I shut it down because I live so close to both work and school. And that’s the way (aha aha) I like it (aha aha).

3:10pm: The daily pre-shift meeting breaks and I look to the schedule to see where I’m assigned tonight. “OR Runner”. Why hast thou forsaken me?

3:15pm: I receive the pager from the first shift OR Runner. The OR Runner has to respond to some dozen or so operating rooms where the surgical team may page the runner for an instrument, or to have an instrument sterilized, or to have an instrument in short supply picked up and cleaned. I clip the pager to the v-neck of my scrubs top and prepare for the night. Actually, the term “pager” is what the general public uses for the device. We in the medical profession refer to it as “the beeper”. I’m fortunate to work second shift as the runner is usually paged only once or twice a night.

3:18pm: Beeb, beeb, beeb, beeb . . .
3:21pm: Beeb, beeb, beeb, beeb . . .
3:26pm: Beeb, beeb, beeb, beeb . . .
3:37pm: Beeb, beeb, beeb, beeb . . . This is bullshit. This is ab so lute bull shit. Any other tech that gets the beeper has it go off once or twice in an entire shift. I get it for a half-hour and I sound like a walking casino.

3:45pm: I get paged to room 4 to pick up a colonoscope. Even before I had my first day of training I instinctively knew what a colonoscope was and where it was used.

3:47pm: In the outside world, I may not know “come here” from “sic ‘em” but by God, if there’s one thing I do know it’s how to enter an operating room. I open the door very slowly looking at the floor all the while. I then look across the floor until I spot a pair of white shoes. I follow up to look directly at the nurse or surgical tech’s eyes and lock in until they acknowledge me. I do this so that I never have to see the patient on the table. There are, among my colleagues, those who would chat with the techs and even watch the surgical procedure. Not me. I don’t even want to look at a patient whose gown is open, much less one whose skin is open. I put on my gloves and retrieve the colonoscope. I hold the scope in both hands at a 10 o’clock-2 o’clock position and away from my body. I do this because the colonoscope is a highly sophisticated, delicate and very expensive piece of equipment. It has also just been up someone’s ass.

I exit the room and head for the little decontam room we have upstairs. The scope has the collective smell of all that be damned, and yet I begin methodically cleaning it and catch myself singing/humming a tune lightly into my mask:

That’s the way (aha aha) I like it (aha aha)

I’ve always hated that song and can’t imagine what possessed me to think of it. Perhaps it was the scope which has a funk that would knock a fly off a shit-eating hog.

Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)

Blogs by PsychoMagnet: My Blog, My Bitch Code (end) Code (part 2) Code (part 1) The Rat Pack & Pack Rats T & A . . . gone tomorrow Blogging is Very Sweet, Brother . . . An Open Letter to the President of the United States Everyone Has One . . . Here's Mine 12 Days of Psycho (Day 12) 12 Days of Psycho (Day 11) 12 Days of Psycho (Day 10) 12 Days of Psycho (Day 9) 12 Days of Psycho (Day 8) 12 Days of Psycho (Day 7) 12 Days of Psycho (Day 6) 12 Days of Psycho (Day 5) 12 Days of Psycho (Day 4) A New One 12 Days of Psycho (Day 3) 12 Days of Psycho (Day 2) 12 Days of Psycho (Day 1) funisnumber1 And Psycho Was His Name-O