NOAHS ARK IN TODAYS SOCIETY posted 12/23/2008 9:02:34 PM | 0 kudos what's this?     report abuse

pinkypaula2

THE LORD SPEAKS TO NOAH AND SAYS IN ONE YEAR I AM GOING TO MAKE IT RAIN AND COVER THE WHOLE EARTH WITH WATER UNTIL ALL IS DESTROYED BUT I WANT YOU TO SAVE THE RIGHTEOUS PEOPLE AND TWO OF EVERY KIND OF LIVING THING ON THE EARTH THEREFORE I AM COMMANDING YOU TO BUILD THE ARK

IN A FLASH OF LIGHTNING GOD DELIVERED THE SPECIFICATIONS F
FOR THE ARK

FEARFUL AND TREMBLING NOAH TOOK THE PLANS AND AGREED TO
BUILD THE ARK

REMEMBER SAID THE LORD YOU MUST COMPLETE THE ARK AND BRING EVERYTHING ABOARD IN ONE YEAR

EXACTLY ONE YEAR LATER A FIERCE STORM CLOUD FORMED AND ALL THE SEAS OF THE EARTH WENT INTO A TUMALT THE LORD SAW NOAH SITTING IN HIS YARD WEEPING

NOAH HE SAID WHERE IS THE ARK

LORD PLEASE FORGIVE ME CRIED NOAH I DID MY BEST BUT THERE WERE BIG PROBLEMS FIRST I HAD TO GET A PERMIT FOR CONSTRUCTION AND YOUR PLANS DID NOT COMPLY WITH THE CODES I HAD TO HIRE AN ENGINEERING FIRM AND REDRAW THE PLANS

THEN I GOT INTO A FIHT WITH OSHA OVER WHEARTHE OR NOT THE ARK NEEDED A FIRE SPRINKLER SYSTEM AND FLOATION DEVICES

THEN MY NEIGHBOR OBJECTED CLAIMING I WAS VIOLATING ZONING ORDINANCES BY BUILDING THE ARK IN MY FRONT YARD SI I HAD TO GET A VARIANCE FROM THE CITY PLANNING COMMISSION

I HAD PROBLEMS GETTING ENOUGH WOOD FOR THE ARK BECAUSE THERE WAS A BAN ON CUTTING TREES TO PROTECT THE SPOTTED OWL I FINALLY CONVINCED THE U.S. FOREST SERVICE THAT I NEEDED THE WOOD TO SAVE THE OWLS

HOWEVER THE FISH AND WILDLIFE SERVICE WONT LET ME CATCH ANY OWLS SO NO OWLS

THE CARPENTERS FORMED A UNION AND WENT OUT ON STRIKE I HAD TO NEGOTIATE A SETTLEMENT WITH THE NATIONAL LABOR UNION NOW I HAVE 16 CARPANTERS ON THE ARK BUT STILL NO OWLS

WHEN I STARTED ROUNDING UP THE OTHER ANIMALS I GOT SUED BY ANIMAL RIGHTS GROUP THEY OBJECTED TO ME ONLY TAKING TWO OF EACH KIND ABOARD

JUST WHEN I GOT THE SUIT DISMISSED THE EPA NOTIFIED ME THAT I COULD NOT COMPLETE THE ARK WITHOUT FILING AN ENVIROMENTAL INPACT STATEMENT ON YOUR PROPOSED FLOOD THEY DIDNT TAKE VERY KINDLY TO THE IDEA THAT THEY NO JURISDICTION OVER THE CONDUCT OF THE CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE

THE ARMY CORPS OF ENGINEER DEMANDED A MAP OF THE PROPOSED NEW FLOOD PLAIN I SENT THEM A GLOBE

RIGHT NOW I AM TRYING TO RESOLVE A COMPLAINT FILED WITH THE EQUAL EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITY COMMISSION THAT I AM PRATICING DISCRIMINATION BY NOT TAKING GODLESS UNBELEIVING PEOPLE ABOARD

THE IRS HAS SEIZED ALL MY ASSETS CLAIMING THAT I AM BUILDING THE ARK IN PREPERATION TO FLEE THE COUNTRY TO AVOID PAYING TAXES

I JUST GOT NOTICE FROM THE STATE THAT I OWE SOME KIND OF USER TAX AND FAILED TO REGISTER THE ARK AS A RECREATIONAL WATER CRAFT

FINALLY THE ACLU GOT THE COURTS TO ISSUE AN INJUNCTION AGANIST FUTHER CONSTRUCTION OF THE ARK SAYING THAT SINCE GOD IS FLOODING THE EARTH IT IS A RELIGIOUS EVENT AND THEREFORE UNCONSTITUTIONAL

I REALLY DONT THINK I CAN FINISH THE ARK FOR ANOTHER 5 OR 6 YEARS NOAH WAILED

THE SKY BEGAN TO CLEAR THE SUN BEGAN TO SHINE AND THE SEAS TO CALM A RAINBOW ARCHED ACROSS THE SKY

NOAH LOOKED UP HOPEFULLY YOU MEAN YOU ARE NOT GOING TO DESTROY THE EARTH LORD

NO SAID THE LORD SADLY THE GOVERMENT ALREADY HAS

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