While reading another blogger, I was reminded of a Christmas years ago. I was very depressed and needed to be with family...not sent out alone into the night...but ...here is what happened:
I was all alone in town because my mother, sister, and daughter were all in California and I could not afford to go out there since I had no job except childcare for a church on Sunday and Wednesday evening. My cousin, who got me the job, had invited me to come out to the country to share Christmas with them..I looked forward to it, but felt sad 'cause I had no gifts for everyone that would be there. My aunt (who turned 102 in Nov.) told me to come on out and gifts were of no importance.So....I did.
Times were just like in days of old when we cousins were kids and we played games with the grown ups and laughed and were a close extended family, except now, the cousins were the grown ups and had kids and grandkids to play with. I felt like such an outsider, since I was divorced and had no immediate family to share with....only former memories of Christmas past.
Still, I was happy...temporarilly.
Evening was upon us...gifts had been opened....games had been played, and the "foreign exchange student" special guest was to arrive with my cousin's son and family. I was told that I would have to go home since the double bed pull-out couch I had slept on for two nights was needed for "her" to sleep on.
What about a pallet on the floor if "she" needed to have the bed? I was a grown adult and she was a young teenager and I was suposed to give up my bed and go home to an empty house alone??? I would have slept on the floor just to stay there...but no....I was not "immediate family" and this new stranger was!  oh?? 
My cousin began packing up food for me to take home since they still had the rest of the holiday vacation and Christmas was over and they would make more for the rest of the days the "family" would be there!
I took my food graciously (as much as one does for charity received) since it was not food for my body, but food for my soul and a warm hug I craved more than a full tummy. I thanked them for the couple of days I had with them...holding back tears as I knew I would not even be missed 2 min after I walked out the door!
I sat in my car and cried...then drove slowly through the dark country side til I came into town with streetlights to show the way. I made my way through the deserted streets and to my own double-car driveway for my single car... I don't know how long I sat out there. I sobbed and sobbed, truely brokenhearted, but because it was no longer dangerous to close my eyes and shake as I drove, I felt safe in my own driveway..I shivered from the cold and realized I needed to go inside to the empty house...dark and echoing of nobody there but me! Silence is sooooo loud!
I plopped down in my chair when my cat, Calico, came to greet me from my absence from her, and expecting a treat...but I was in no mood to greet her with the same enthusiam.....so...she got my attention in another way. She jumped in my lap, and grabbed the pencils that I had received as a gift from the children I had in childcare, She was chewing on them! I grabbed them from her and she shocked me so much I was in awe!
SHE SLAPPED ME!
I was taken aback for a second or too...then broke out in laughter! Thanks God! I said...I needed that!
See, God can bring us back from pity parties when we need it!  There is always tomorrow...it will get better....and He uses whatever is necessary to get that through to us!
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