How To Turn Off Women: A Guide for Men posted 1/2/2009 10:42:27 PM | 9 kudos what's this?     report abuse tagged: romance, dating, psychology, men, women

GraceUnderFire747

Men ask me how to find the wonderful, low-maintenance woman of their dreams.

I’ve been involved in internet dating for the last seven years, both personally and as a psychology researcher. I was my father’s oldest son. I worked primarily with men most of my life. Even though I’m most definitely female, I “think like a man”, have mostly “male” interests, and the majority of my friends are guys.

This leaves me in a unique position, since I’m also privy to womens conversations and the associated rantings and ravings about the men in their lives.

Think of me as "The Bridge". I understand what goes on in the heads of both sexes (although seriously, I admit to understanding men better than I do women). This post is a public service to those men who are sincere in those efforts, but are somehow managing to screw things up for themselves.

So guys -- this is Part I: Your Profile.

1. Stupid Screen Names

What do these screen names have in common?

BillyBob69
LovesToDance69
RomanticMan69

If you are looking for a hookup rather than a “soulmate”, fine. Otherwise, you can FORGET ABOUT finding ANY FEMALE if you have “69” in your profile name. Guaranteed.

2. Information is Crucial

If your profile consists of no information at all, the phrase “ask me later”, or only a couple of sentences, I guarantee you will get absolutely nowhere.

To most women, sketchy information means you are LAZY … TOO LAZY to fill out some basic information about yourself. If you are too lazy to put in some basic information, then you will be a LAZY and INCONSIDERATE boyfriend, lover or husband.

Unless you can tell someone who you are, what you like to do, and who you hope to find, you are wasting your time. On the other hand, if you are able to catch their attention in some way, you will generate genuine interest from women browsing.

If you don’t know what to put in your profile, have a friend help you write it.

3. Just How Ugly Are You, Anyway?

Even the scammers find an attractive photo of someone online and use it. No photo means that you are (a) married, or (b) TOO LAZY to dig out a photo of yourself, (c) have no photo of yourself, and are TOO LAZY to have a friend take one of you.

If you are married, then you don’t have any business looking for women. Unless you clearly state in your profile that you are married or “in a relationship”, you are LYING. Contrary to what they may say, 99% of the time married (or partnered) men are not on dating sites looking for friendship, someone to chat with, or to hang out in the forums. They are looking for something that they are not getting at home … sex or emotional intimacy. Some are looking for both. (See my blog "Crying Uncle").

Look, fellows -- if you manage to attract a female, it is only a matter of time until they find out THE TRUTH. If this happens, they will no longer TRUST you. How do you expect to have a great relationship with someone who doesn’t trust you?

If you are too lazy to dig out a photo or have a friend take one of you … you are going to be a LAZY and INCONSIDERATE boyfriend, lover or husband. (Does this sound familiar?)

While we’re talking about photos… think of what type of a photo you would use to catch the attention of a new employer. Do you have a beer in your hand? Is there a bunch of junk in the background? Are you wearing a stained and torn T-shirt? If your profile photo makes you look LAZY or like a SLOB, you will get NOWHERE. Not even if you look like Robert Redford.

4. Be Honest

If you want to have a “real” relationship, make sure your profile is “real”. Painting a picture of yourself as something that you can’t live up to is futile. The female that you attract will eventually figure out that you are LYING, and they will no longer TRUST you. (Hmmm…I sense a pattern developing here…)

5. No Sex! Ever!

Unless you are specifically looking for sex and sex ONLY, do NOT put anything in your profile about sex (see #1).

A recent profile I viewed on another site indicated an interest in BSDM, and how the female should not be narrow minded. WTF were you thinking, for God’s sake? I don’t care how bright you are, how handsome you are, or how much money you make – you are immediately tagged as a pervert!

Don’t worry… women are keenly aware that men are very interested in sex. Most fully expect to participate in sexual relations once the have established mutual interest and trust.

6. You're Stepping In Something If You Walk On The Beach

"Normal" women would rather hear that you held a candlelight vigil ... not how you like candlelight dinners. They genuinely don't care if you like to walk on the beach ...unless you own the beach, or you have a funny story to share about a time you were trotting through the sand. If you think bragging about being "romantic" is a unique idea, start looking through the other male profiles.

If you want to talk about romance, be specific about what romantic gestures are your favorites. If you want to talk about beaches, be specific about your favorite beach(es). You can refer to dimly lit restaurants while you are specific about the type of food you love.

You get the idea, right?

Next ... Part II, Finding a Woman That Is Worth Your Time.

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Blogs by GraceUnderFire747: OK ... you win... Things My (Nasty) Father Taught Me Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire "Outing" the Neighbors Top Party Games for People Over 50 One Father's Rules for Dating His Daughter A Tale of True Manhood A Tale of True Womanhood Shoplifting not allowed...Retail and Relationships The Business End of the Rope Gracie’s Choice How To Turn Off Women, Part II: A Guide for Men How To Turn Off Women: A Guide for Men When a Man Cries Uncle The Path, Part II A backwards glance... Scammers and Military Troops... The path... Shifting Perspectives. The sexes speak (Part 3 ): Conclusions The sexes speak (Part 2 ): What men say about women ... The sexes speak (Part 1): What women say about men ... Up Against the Wall, I Have a Gun! For men who are considering contact...READ THIS AND PAY ATTENTION!