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Stirring The Pot - What It Isn't

posted 1/3/2009 11:12:34 AM |
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  dixiepixie

How often have we heard or seen someone use the phrase “Stirring the Pot”? I’ve noticed the phrase in use at times throughout the years but don’t see it used as a matter of course. However, it seems that phrase is used on this site quite often to paint someone who doesn’t agree with your point of view or who defends themselves from attack as a troublemaker.

In the past, when I’ve heard or read those words, they mainly have been used in conjunction with someone who wanted to bring forgotten issues for which there was disagreement to the surface. It also is often used to denote the stirring up of trouble. What kind of trouble? There are way too many types of issues upon which people disagree or for which one person wants to dominate another and over which there will always be attacks made and defensive actions taken. So using the general term “trouble”, in the essence of time, will have to suffice.

It’s quite human nature for each of us to take a phrase, knowing full well the meaning of it, but to add our own little spin to it to fit the way we see it. Events happen, we consciously and subconsciously categorize the players in the event depending upon our emotional connection to those players and the issues. We add our point of view, feelings and frustrations.

Factored into that is the innate emotional push to protect your position as “King of the Hill” or defend your position and to not be dominated.

Then add the component of various personalities into the mix. Each individual involved may truly feel that they are right and may argue a position or defend a position from the perch created of the highest integrity. Absolute sincerity that they are correct. That all works as long as people remain adult like in their actions.

Over a period of time here, although it is not unique to this site alone ( removing politics and religion from the equation, also removing people who are merely expressing their genuine opinion and how they would like things to be different than they are, in an adult way), I’ve still seen a lot of deliberate maliciousness, mean spiritedness, targeting, taunting, bullying, bossiness, dictatorships and other control issues, and the list goes on. So in defining “Stirring the Pot” what it is going to boil down to is a matter of opinion as to whether anyone at all is stirring a pot and if so, just who the pot stirrer is.

This blog is meant to present my opinion as to what “Stirring the Pot” is not. I probably haven’t thought of everything that I want to add to my list so as long as the blog is open will continue to add as time goes on.



Stirring the Pot is not - using a website open to the public just because another member of that website doesn’t want to see you there.

Stirring the Pot is not - using a website that people who are in complete error and are spreading false rumors that you left the website for good and have now come back and now the pot’s being stirred. Unless the individual about which the rumor is being spread informed you personally that they were leaving the website and never coming back chances are you don’t know what you are talking about.

Stirring the Pot is not - writing a blog in the blogging section of a website.

Stirring the Pot is not - defending oneself from attack or malicious behavior.

Stirring the Pot is not - pointing out double standards or hypocrisy.

Stirring the Pot is not - defending oneself when someone sets them up for public humiliation for doing no different than lots of people on this site do, but the accuser did not use that tactic against others who have done the same for months, which proves they were not as sincere in caring about the issue as they would like you to think, but wanted to lay in wait until they could target someone they don’t like.

Stirring the Pot is not - posting a dissenting opinion.

Stirring the Pot is not - defending oneself from name calling.

Stirring the Pot is not - defending oneself from insults.

Stirring the Pot is not - posting a poem where others openly post them.

Stirring the Pot is not - posting a joke in places where others openly post them.

Stirring the Pot is not - posting a cut and paste where others openly post them.

Stirring the Pot is not - commenting on your own blog when the site is set up to allow you to do so.

Stirring the Pot is not - setting your comment controls to “no comments”, “comments will have to wait for approval” and whatever other controls are offered by the site to manage your blogs. It’s a feature for members’ to use plain and simple.

If anyone has anything to add as to what they think the phrase Stirring the Pot constitutes or does not constitute I'd love to hear them.



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Stirring The Pot - What It Isn't


Comments:
kywonder

Jan 3 @ 11:22AM  
I think you covered most of the bases. Nice blog and well written.
cancun1999

Jan 3 @ 11:25AM  
Wow, what a great blog and so true..Thank you for posting this..This really needed to be addressed on here, since I see so much of this happening everyday..

CHI_CHI1224

Jan 3 @ 11:28AM  


WELL SAID!
Kittycat22

Jan 3 @ 11:38AM  
Great blog Dixie....
dixiepixie

Jan 3 @ 11:45AM  


Thank you everyone. Also, for your help in my comment settings. I hope I have them correct now. If I don't have them for automatic approval someone please let me know.
browneyedone

Jan 3 @ 12:47PM  
Yep......thus definitely needed to be said, although, it may fall on deaf ears for the most part. But we hear ya g/f!
blackdragon61

Jan 3 @ 12:51PM  
Wow that stuff goes on here too? Thats why I left my old site.
alivenwell351

Jan 3 @ 1:28PM  
Stirring the Pot is not - defending oneself when someone sets them up for public humiliation for doing no different than lots of people on this site do, but the accuser did not use that tactic against others who have done the same for months, which proves they were not as sincere in caring about the issue as they would like you to think, but wanted to lay in wait until they could target someone they don’t like.

Tell it like it is Madam Pixie...


CHARLIgurl1

Jan 3 @ 1:47PM  
also removing people who are merely expressing their genuine opinion and how they would like things to be different than they are, in an adult way), I’ve still seen a lot of deliberate maliciousness, mean spiritedness, targeting, taunting, bullying, bossiness, dictatorships and other control issues, and the list goes on

Yes, theres far too much of it, I did something simular myself..


>>click<<

Human nature being what it is wont stop it, but we can at least try.. good blog Dixie.
unionman154

Jan 3 @ 1:50PM  
Someone needs to stir the pot and rock the boat once in a while.
dixiepixie

Jan 3 @ 1:57PM  


Thanks Brown, Dragon, Alive and Charli.


Charli, I remember your blog and it was very insightful and said everything quite well.

azgirl701

Jan 3 @ 2:07PM  
great blog
andxr

Jan 3 @ 3:35PM  
Im sorry Dixie but I believe I have read this before by somebody else. People please, just some humor thats all

Nice blog!!
dixiepixie

Jan 3 @ 8:23PM  


One of the comments is missing.
cartay25

Jan 3 @ 8:34PM  
Great blog. If we can't all just agree to disagree sometimes we might as well be back in high school whispering in the lunch line.
Gemini_Ky

Jan 3 @ 11:29PM  
Great list of what stirring the pot is not.....I, too, have seen the pot stirring phrase used inappropriately many times. Kudos.

summerbreeze916

Jan 3 @ 11:58PM  
I just finished stirring the pot...........................of hot, spicy chili simmering away in the kitchen. Mmmmmmmmmmm!

Great write, Dixie.........
dixiepixie

Jan 4 @ 12:37AM  


I love Chili. That is a great pot to stir. Thanks.
burnslikethesun

Jan 4 @ 2:58AM  
It IS what you do before you get to lick the bowl.
Blondino

Jan 4 @ 10:26AM  


stirring the pot is not making stew in a kitchen





or is that stirring the pot
SpiritOrnery

Jan 4 @ 11:00PM  
If you don't stir the pot, it will burn on the bottom. Or stick...or turn to muck...or...or...uh...nevermind....I don't see any problem with a lil stirring meself.
IB4U

Jan 5 @ 12:08AM  
Is Stirring the pot what I think it is or have I been wrong all these years

Deliberately provocative, yes, but not necessarily maliciously. Picture a pot of soup. A lot of ingredients have settled to the bottom, out of sight, until stirred. Metaphorically, a lot of issues/resentments/obligations can drop out of sight when nobody mentions them. One can "stir the pot" to bring issues to the surface, sometimes with malice, but sometimes merely to create awareness and effect change.
Red_fur

Jan 5 @ 10:02AM  
stirring the pot 2 up, 28 down love ithate it

One term for the classic bad dance move where you rotate your arms in front of you clockwise, as if holding a big spoon with both hands and stirring a pot, while leaning your body/hips in the opposite direction to your arms.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=stirring+the+pot
dixiepixie

Jan 5 @ 10:26AM  


If you don't stir the pot, it will burn on the bottom.

I really hate it when that happens too, Spirit. What a mess.




Is Stirring the pot what I think it is or have I been wrong all these years


IB4U, yes it still has the same meaning you think it does. I just see the phrase used so inappropriately quite often by some here.
haymaker

Jan 5 @ 5:08PM  
Wanna stir my pot Dixie? Excellent blog!!
dixiepixie

Jan 5 @ 7:04PM  


Ha ha ha... I'll be happy to HM
Blueschic

Jan 9 @ 10:18AM  
Great blog Dix but do you really think anyone listens? Someone once told me this about 5 years ago and it's so true. There is your version, their version and then the version of what really happened. The majority of the time close mindedness prevents people form seeing what is right before their eyes. Anyway, GF great blog.
bardnsage

Jan 24 @ 11:42PM  
Sometimes, you don't have to stir the pot,,,,

Just get close enough to it,,, and it will explode in your face all by itself.
Jankia

Jan 26 @ 11:38AM  
Stirring the pot is not posting the truth to refute a lie.
CPUfan

Feb 4 @ 5:56PM  
People who are potty generally do a lot more stirring than most... often by sharing identical symbols - swastikas, red stars, cult icons, symbols, things like that, to demonstrate elite affiliation and group domination. It's a very well known phenomenon in group psychology. If in a psychology test one group of students attaches red armbands and the other attaches black armbands, within a very short period of time they band together via their respective "jungle telegraph" systems and attack and discriminate each other. If there is only one dominant group with armbands, it starts to mob and bully individuals, newbies, small groups of outcasts or nonconformists...

The original psychology experiment of this nature was carried out at a US college in the 60s to reproduce the circumstances of political affiliation behaviour in 1920s Germany. The students were deeply shocked when they found out how they had been manipulated to fight with each other. They were even more shocked to discover they had behaved like Nazis and Communists to put their group in power.

There are a number of adept manipulators right here on MD. The telltale signs are subterfuge messaging such as "there's a mail waiting for you"... whenever someone asks what has been going on, and there has actually been a conflict or confrontation. Instead of openness and honest communication, such individuals resort to full-time behind-the-scenes backbiting, scheming and manipulation. Other warning signs are people with large numbers of apparently incompatible friends who clearly move around with the intention of accumulating gossip...

Seen it right here, along with all the b1tsch posts and b1tsch blogs... which admittedly tend to be more ambiguous about the targets than the venomous communication and scheming that clearly takes place in mailboxes...JMHO...

Hmmm maybe this should be the subject of a separate blog.
ttomtarr

Jun 25 @ 4:01PM  
Some ideas don't go out of date.

But some members do. I wonder why so many posters on this blog bailed out of MD.
Fayvorite

Jun 25 @ 6:05PM  
First time I've seen this blog but it sure is worth a kudo and it got a lot of kudos.
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Stirring The Pot - What It Isn't