Continued...
Cat is yelling. He is a big time yalper. Always yalping to get what he wants. Wants out but that sure is not gonna happen any time soon. I get the water running and filling and Jack shows me how to work the silly stopper and we are getting ready to do the deed. Jack goes to get a plastic dipper to rinse the cat with. Well, Cat is jumping around in the tub and I am starting to get wet so I think... take my jeans OFF.
Oops, I am wearing a very sexy lace thong and I sure as heck know that if I drop my drawers, Jack is going to be all over my ass and I am trying to hold onto this friggn feral cat that is wounded, never in his life had a bath and hates water. I can see myself getting bit and screaming to high heavens. Nope, I sure as hell am not gonna drop my jeans in front of Jack with a pissed and wounded feral cat in the bathtub so I innocently look up at Jack and ask him to leave the bathroom.
He has NO idea what I am up to but he hates jackin around with stuff and thinks if the cat lives fine, if he dies, fine...he will miss him. So, WITHOUT ARGUING...he leaves the bathroom.  Omg! I am so not used to that! But I am not complaining at ALL! I drop my pants while the cat flings himself out of the tub again. I gently pick him up and plop him into the tub again facing the wall with his feet up on the wall. I learned years ago that this will distract cats long enough to get a little water on them
Now, cats HATE soap. That crap is toxic anyway and there is none of my good stuff I use in this bathroom that has zero chemicals in it so I just use water. I pour the water a few time then pick the cat back up and put him back in the tub against the wall and repeat. Six or eight times...
The water is now filthy (looks like swamp water) so I let the cat escape again...make him feel like he is tough, ya know.  Then wash the tub out and fill again. Second time and he barely turns the water brown so I think, the worst is over and let him go again.
By now, the floor has about 1/4 inch water all over it, dark brown splatters are all over the door, the walls and the floor. Cat footprints gaily decorate the bathroom. Poor baby. He is sitting in the corner and I yell for more towels. (I am not going out in the thong, you know. I am soaked too.) He hands me a small, thin towel...we have run out of large towels in the first bathroom (it is an L shaped bathroom with two commodes and sinks, one on each end of the tubroom) but I know there are some large ones in the other end where the cat is huddled so I ask Jack to go get the towels from the other bathroom.
 He goes all the way to the OTHER end of the house in the third bathroom to get ONE flippn towel.  FINE! After fluffing the cat up real good and wiping the floor up with the three towels it is STILL wet everywhere and I am still mudcoated. So I step in the tub and rinse off, dry myself off with the light colored towel hanging in the bathroom. NO way am I using it on the mud.
I pull my jeans back on, snag a HUGE fluffy hot stone massage towel from the other end of the bathroom...the cat moved finally when I wiped the floor up some so I was able to get past him. I open the door and let the cat out. Wheeeee! Now, Jack thinks I have traumatized the cat. Yeah, right. I know how to bath a cat. I used to have LOTS of cats. There is a technique that works on most cats.
I go back to cutting glass. I finish the project and clean up the mess and sweep and cover so the cats are protected from injury....as well as the people in the house. I go check on this 'traumatized' cat. Cat has this look of sheer delight on his face, is laying on Jack's chest and purring loud as can be. I pet him to see if he is mad at me and he purrs even louder.
Well, dayum! Cat must be smart. I bet he was thinking how long it would take to lick all that crap off of himself and when I washed him, he was pleasantly surprised! In all my life with cats, I have never found a mud soaked, matted and coated cat. So, I have just discovered that if a cat's first bath is lots better than his condition BEFORE the bath, then they actually enjoy the results!  Wheeeeee! 
This cat adventure was almost as funny as my dog, Sheba and the skunk.
Copyright Jan. 2009 SpiritEnergy
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| Cat story...Bathing The Cat... Part 2 |
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UnicornLover1962
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Jan 9 @ 6:45AM
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 omg! i'm laughing so hard, i'm gonna wake paul if i'm not careful.
baby, the white furball has this one quirk when i give him a bath. he cries out in a loud and quite understandable voice..."NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
i'm sure one of these days, the police will be here wanting to arrest the person who is abusing that poor child someone heard crying out.
when that happens, i will dump a wet, pissed off ball of fur in their arms...and say, welcome to baby...lol!
huggles
mel
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lacyvsq
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Jan 9 @ 10:08AM
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...and here I thought the way to bathe a cat was to put him into the toilet, close the lid and give it a few good flushes...
Heeeeerrrrre Henry....
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Cruisenite
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Jan 9 @ 10:33AM
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 Quite an adventure Spirit I kinda like Lacy's idea though, seems simplier to me 
A fantastic Friday to you my friend!! 
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SpiritOrnery
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Jan 9 @ 1:41PM
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Actually, Unicornlover, I used to have a neighbor moved in in the winter, had a parrot that screamed like a kid...MAMA! MAMA Over and over again. They put it on the deck in the summer time. I heard it over and over again and after a few weeks of 'crying kid' finally called the cops one day...they found the parrot. I was SO embarrassed. It was on their deck where I could not see it.
They said they had the cops called on them all the time where they used to live because of the damn bird! Made me less embarrassed but I was mortified! 
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KnittinKitten
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Jan 9 @ 3:17PM
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Spirit:
I'm still rolling over in laughter . Anyone who has owned a pet can certainly identify with these kinds of incidents. Not too long ago I read a story about bathing a cat...I can't remember where, but I wrote for permission to reprint it and I can. Now I have to find it. I rolled around laughing at that one, too.
Thanks for your humorous story telling talent...kudos, definitely,
Fondly,
KK 
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KAOS2007
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Jan 9 @ 3:38PM
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Cat. Gotta love that name.
This was too funny SE...
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lisa46
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Jan 9 @ 9:56PM
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I absolutely loved your story!!!! Thank you for sharing with me err umm I mean us
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believen
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Jan 10 @ 1:50AM
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I attempted to bathe my siamese cat when i was about 16y/o.
Dang thing stuck its claw thru one of my nostrils and was hanging by my nostril. It took forever for my mother to come upstairs and unhook the cat from my nose.
I will NEVER attempt to bathe a cat again
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EquuisdancerDbndon
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Jan 13 @ 5:46PM
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You never find anything really easy to do 
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Bionic_Angel
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Jan 19 @ 11:56PM
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You really don't do ANYTHING by halves do you girl?
and here I thought the way to bathe a cat was to put him into the toilet, close the lid and give it a few good flushes... Now ... this I'd love to see! ... not sure I'd have the guts to do it myself though, I'd probably be just like SE, soaking wet, my kecks off, paw marks all over the bathroom and searching for my last clean towel.
Cute blog gf .... kudos
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