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"Humorous Thoughts"

posted 2/16/2009 7:24:58 PM |
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tagged: humor, laughs, life, mistakes, memories
  IB4U

Humorous Thoughts

IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THIS BEFORE,

IT WILL DEFINITELY MAKE YOUR DAY.

IF YOU HAVE SEEN IT BEFORE,

IT WILL DEFINITELY RE-MAKE YOUR DAY.


Humorous Thoughts

An older couple is lying in bed one morning.
They had just awakened from a good night's sleep.
He takes her hand and she responds, "Don't touch me."
"Why not?" he asked.
She answered, "Because I'm dead."
The husband asked..."What are you talking about? We're both lying here in bed together and talking to one another!"
She said, "No, I'm definitely dead."
He insisted, "You are not dead. What in the world makes you think you're dead?"
"Because I woke up this morning and nothing hurts."

.............Remember...
Once you get over the hill, you'll begin to pick up speed

I love cooking with wine.
Sometimes I even put some in the food.

...If it weren't for STRESS
I'd have no energy at all.

Whatever hits the fan...
Will Not Be Evenly Distributed.

Everyone has a photographic memory.
Some, like me, just don't have any film.

I always know...
God won't give me more than I can handle
Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian.
There are times I just wish He didn't trust me quite so much.

Dogs Have Owners ~ Cats Have Staff

If the shoe fits... buy a pair in every color.

Never be too open-minded, your brains may fall out.

Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian.
Not any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Bills travel through the mail...
at twice the speed of checks.

If you look like your passport picture...
you probably need the trip.

Some days are a total waste of makeup.

Men are from earth.
Women are from earth.
Deal with it.

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

Middle age is when broadness of the mind
and narrowness of the waist change places.

Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

Junk is something you've kept for years
and throw away three weeks before you need it.

Experience is a wonderful thing.
It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

Learn from the mistakes of others.
Trust me... you can't live long enough to make them all yourself.

I've tried!!

Have a GREAT DAY


TAKE A MOMENT AND LIVE
.
"Live and Let Die", Paul McCartney an WINGS[U]
.
.

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Comments:
HUGS4UANDME

Feb 16 @ 7:33PM  
funny stuff.............woohoo great song too ......ty .....
suthrn_belle

Feb 16 @ 7:51PM  
I love cooking with wine.
Sometimes I even put some in the food.


.....

luneib

Feb 16 @ 8:17PM  
You always know how to make me laugh, those were so funny. Thanx for sharing.
pinkypaula2

Feb 16 @ 8:17PM  
thius was sooo funny but so true thank you ib4u
Strata2007

Feb 16 @ 8:34PM  


Two things to remember as we get older

1. Never trust a fart.

2. Never pass the toilet.
summerbreeze916

Feb 16 @ 8:45PM  
Men are from earth.
Women are from earth. Deal with it.

Are you sure?????????

Experience is a wonderful thing.
It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

But how much experience do I need to finally get it?

This was cute, IB4U..............

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