NEW WINE FOR SENIORS
california vinters in napa valley area which prrimarly produce,
pinot,blanc,noir,and pinot gringo wines,have developed a new hybrid grape,
that acts as an anti -diuretic,
it is expected to reduce the number of trips older people have to make to the bathroom during he night,
THE NEW WINE WILL BE MARKED AS
PINO MORE
I HEARD IT THROUGH THE GRAPEVINE. 
FUNNY JOKE
a bird was flying south for the winter but he had left too late and was frozen solid in a storm, he dropped down into a pasture of cows, the biggest fatest cow was doing a crap there and the bird landed in it, at first he was disgusted until he realized the poo was thawing him out, he started crying out for joy as the ice melted a cat was nearby heard the cries walked over saw the bird and ate it,
THERE ARE THREE MORALS TO THE STORY
1. not everyone who gets you into shit is youre enemy
2. not everyone who gets you out of shit is youre friend
3. if you are in shit keep youre mouth shut  
REDNECK MEDICAL TERMS 
BENIGH- what you be after eight
ARTERY - the study of paintings
BACTERIA- back door to cafeteria
BARIUM- what doctors do when patients die
CESAREAN-SECTION - a neighborhood in roam
CAT SCAN- searching for kitty
CAUTERIZE- made eye contact with her
COLIC- a sheep dog
COMA- a puncatuation mark
D&C- where washington is
DILATE- to live long
ENEMA- not a friend
FESTER- quicker than someone else
FIBULA- a small lie
GENITlL- a non jewish person
GI SERIES- world series of military baseball
IMPOTENT- distinguished,well known
HANGNAIL- what you hang youre coat on
LABOR PAIN- getting hurt at work
MEDICAL STAFF- a doctors cane
MORBID- a higher offer
NITRATES- cheaper than day rates
NODE- i knew it
OUTPATIENT-a person who has fainted
PAP SMEAR- a fatherhood test
PELVIS- second cousin to elvis
POST OPERATIVE- a letter carrier
RECOVERY ROOM- place to do upholstery
RECTUM- damn near killed him
SECRETION- hiding something
TABLET- a small table
TERMINAL ILLNESS- getting sick at the airport
TUMOR- one plus one
URINE- oppsite of youre out
VARICOSE- nearby/closeby
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