I know..i said i wasen't going to gripe or share these things,ever.
Well..to bad read it or not.Dosen't bother me.
You know how it is.Sit and think..lay in bed and think.
Everyone seems to be acting a bit wierd...and mean like.Maybe even telling
you depressing stories and crap.But,if you tell them anything..they tell you not
to talk about it..cause they don't want to hear it.Thats bad.I mean we got to listin
to your sad stories...how about a return in favor.??Bahh.
Anyways...
Why are they so freakin depressed?I mean they have a car,job,fancy clothes,
family,and even lifmates.A gift to love themselves and others...as well as
places to go and friends to hang out with.Great thats just great..you got the entire
fricken world and i or you don't.I mean i don't want to just talk about myself here..
i KNOW others know what i mean as well.
People seem to get on with better lives without me.
The more they egnore me..the better things get for them.I seem to be this
bad-luck charm hanging like a ball-and-chain around there hearts.They tell me
that they love to talk to me..cause i make them laugh.sometimes i wonder
how i really sound to them.Retarded?a looser?Someone with no life but to joke
around?Why should i care?Well...i care to know the truth..really.See how i value
beyond what friends really tell me.
How is it..that even the people i know..that have at least a
2% chance out of a 1,000,000 chance of getting a date or someone that actually
loves them..actually happens.How is that possible?!!
How do they get all the glory in life..no matter what there life throws at them..
actually ends up gold plated??!!
some just got it good..but do they share..when i share what little i have?NO!!!
-__-...some friends...some frumpin family!!
I complain alot.I will admit..im a paranoid complianer.
If thats a real thing.I'm proof.
I don't understand alot of things.I love to learn...usually the hard way.
People live.I live to die.
I donno..how anyone can live..as the way i see myself.
Past life remembering has gotten to me.How can i stand myself..when i look
so diffrent..living among beings i intend to hate by nature.Yeah..people.
It's makes me sick.
But,what can i do?
I always thought..maybe i could go to someone who know how to
erase memories.
someone to give me new GOOD memories.
Or..maybe thats bad.cause i don't want lies.I'll become blind cattle.
EHHhh...
When your with someone you love..nothing matters.
everything goes deep in the ground away from your mind.
Thats what i liked...thats what i miss.
It's not fair..being a being that no one loves...and no one wants to give
time or patience to.
It's not fair..that because of what and who i am..makes me an
monster...with no lifemate,no life here...and no care to what my future
could hold on this planet.
How can you erase pain,and start your life on things
that only breaks you down..so they can have better glory then you?
How can i understand...what people can't understand about me?
How can they give back..when they don't give the time of day.
Whats the meaning of exsistance here...if you already
learned what you needed to..and you have NOTHING esle to give..
or to be givin to?...
What makes you go on..when you want nothing more but what you can
NEVER...EVER have.??...
Love me not..the punisher of time.
Hate me then..when i did no crime.
Love me again..untill hates sighn.
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