Please note that you are NOT single if you have any of the following situations going on:
1. You are married
2. You are separated
3. You are involved in a pending divorce
4. You are living with someone
5. You have an "on again - off again" relationship with your ex.
-- Please note that if you are in any of the above situations, you are also NOT single even if you feel that your heart is not involved in the relationship anymore and you "feel" like it is over. You are STILL IN A RELATIONSHIP AND UNAVAILABLE.
I hope this helps you in determining your status.
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Blogs by Roseeey:
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| Regarding Your "Single Status" - Just an F.Y.I. |
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imlost2
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Mar 26 @ 10:36AM
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I am glad you posted this, because I feel the same way. I always say, please close one or all doors before opening another as I am too old now to be ducking bullets. It's difficult enough to have a relationship without having to worry about someone else in the relationship as well. It's never good to start a relationship out on a lie. If one has another person still on the line, one must cut them loose first. Take care Lost
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Fender
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Mar 26 @ 10:46AM
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luneib
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Mar 26 @ 11:19AM
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Very true. I had dated a guy once who said he was separated and going to get a divorce, just one of those quick Starbucks get to know you dates. He then started dating someone else, having sex with her. We had only been in touch by emails, how I know all of this. He eventually went back to live with his wife. It's just crazy to put yourself in that situation, dating someone who is separated, there is that chance they will go back to their spouse and then you will be left broken hearted if you let your heart be open and vulnerable to that person. It's not worth the heartbreak. Sure some men and women who are separated and say they are going to get divorced are honest and really going through the process, but then there are others who are on the fence about it, not sure about what they want. Best to stay away.
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Chris_in_california
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Mar 26 @ 12:11PM
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I agree. Any relationship takes work, Just how some work on it seems kinda odd to me. All you have listed are to me a work in progress that I do not want to get in the middle of.
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Skydognc
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Mar 26 @ 12:12PM
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Naaaaa,
I disagree...
I know a lot of people on here, self included, who are seperated pending divorces,
who are totally single and available..
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TripOnLove
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Mar 26 @ 12:44PM
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I know a lot of people on here, self included, who are seperated pending divorces,
who are totally single and available..
Sorry pal, but the BOTTOM LINE is that you and others like you are STILL MARRIED.
The blogger is 100% correct in her assertions about being single and I pity the fools ....LOL....who think otherwise.
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skylar4
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Mar 26 @ 1:45PM
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I disagree as well with skydognc. No need to explain to others that only see black or white. When you are "seperated" for 5 yrs, friends with ex & a good reason for the pending divorce, You are single and living your life alone. I will go a step further & say that I prefer my parting of ways to be amiciable & I do choose to not, out of the heat of anger or saddness to run & sling mud in a court of law in hatred as SOOOO MANY DO & then bash their ex for the rest of their lives. That is debilitating & holds one back from restarting, hence carrying much baggage with you. A long term marriage should not end that way, when the dust, hurt & anger settle, your mind clears & you can then end it in peace. You have history & children. In time 2 adults work the process out so there Is no animosity and I know that it is a matter of legality, yet we are & will remain happy for the other when the papers are signed. Not everyone gets hurt & runs to court to belittle their spouse. Some would lie & mark "single" instead of being truthful & I believe in honesty at all cost and refuse to worry about those that only see things in black & white. I am Proud to say I am baggage free & moving forward with peace of mind.....can you? ...jmho
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Detach
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Mar 26 @ 1:46PM
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Now wait a minute. I have lived with a female roommate for ten years now and we have never been sexually involved, ever. Even though she and I have separate sex lives, you still declare that I'm not single? That makes absolutely no sense,
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Roseeey
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Mar 26 @ 2:02PM
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In response to "Detach" - obviously, in this context, "living with someone" refers to a "relationship" - not "sharing space" with someone you are uninvolved with.
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Solitaire
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Mar 26 @ 3:13PM
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I agree with Roseeey. Being "single" is being single. I understand how in one person's mind they view themselves as unattached, but that doesn't necessarily mean they are single. Some people are very sensitive about dating some one that is legally single because anything else, to them, is adultery. Informally separated isn't single because at sometime they could hook back up with their former partner and under the law, it has validity, and you aare just the "other woman" or "other man". Legal separation, as far as I know, is just a legal separation of finances and responsibilities, but again, if the divorce doesn't go through, you're stuck holding the empty bag as they go back to their spouse and family.
There are lots of folk that are comfortable with dating or getting more involved with someone who is "separated", but then there are many who are philosophically opposed to wading into that muddy middle.
To me, single means legally not married or having an intimate relationship with someone else.
Geez, I knew guy that was "separated" from his wife for "a long time". She probably didn't know that since he still lived in the same house and slept in the same bed. In his mind though...... 
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cbond35
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Mar 26 @ 3:51PM
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<-------Single 
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deeliciousme1
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Mar 26 @ 5:07PM
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I disagree with the unavailable...that's between the 2 or more people involved.
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GraceUnderFire747
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Mar 26 @ 9:21PM
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I think MD needs a new Marital Status ... UNATTACHED.
You are all talking about the "letter of the law" here. I am going to talk about the "spirit of the law".
I don't care if you are DIVORCED... there will always be the "third party" in the relationship, especially if you have kids. You might have a "do over", but not "erasure".
In NC, you have to separate (ie, MOVE OUT) and wait ONE YEAR before you can even FILE for a divorce. Supposedly this keeps people from making rash decisions. There is no "divorce not going through" ... it is a guarantee that when your year is up, no matter who says what, you will get the divorce granted.
I left in 5/01, the divorce was filed in 6/02, and "final" in JULY 2002. There was no way I would ever have remotely considered reuniting with the SOB during that process.
Because of the machinations of his slimy lawyer, it was JULY 2006 when all of the components of the divorce (alimony, post-separation support, custody, child support, equitable distribution, blah blah blah) were "FINAL"
So ... when was it FINAL? In 2002 when I was legally unmarried ... or in 2006 when all of the "parts" were done?
I agree that IF
You are legally MARRIED and LIVING IN THE SAME HOUSEHOLD
You are LIVING IN THE SAME HOUSEHOLD with an intimate partner
You are SEPARATED and a DIVORCE IS NOT IN PROGRESS in some way,shape or form.
There is ANY WAY that you MIGHT REUNITE ... EVER with your ex-
You are in a LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP ...even though you don't live with them...even if you don't love them...
AND EVEN...
You are STILL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE...
YOU ARE NOT 'UNATTACHED'.
IF you are SEPARATED and A DIVORCE is in progress, AND there is no way you will EVER reunite with them...
You are NOT SINGLE ... but you ARE 'UNATTACHED'.
The bottom line is this: We all want someone who is AVAILABLE.
There are people who have not just baggage ... they have CARGO. These people may be UNATTACHED ... but they may not be AVAILABLE.
You might want to put some thought into this aspect.
According to my definition, it will be easy to identify if you are UNATTACHED.
It's likely that only the people dating you will be able to decide if you are AVAILABLE.
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SouthewestJaime
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Apr 29 @ 10:44PM
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...well this particular subjest seems to be one that yields passionate and predominantly female responses. This is interesting to me as I have never had an issue with simply telling someone the truth and living with it.
Could the need for clarification be because men are under the dillusion that they will somehow find a way out out of their existing situation should the something occur with the woman they are lying to or perhaps that it will ruin a chance at sex?
In either case, they're idiots and need to grow some balls. I say they who try to defer there true intent with a woman is on a fast track to failure, loss of dignity, respect not to mention (here it is again) having no balls.
If one feels that one must actually be on the prowl for another while one is indeed with another, well then you an idoit and desreve what you get and should at least be honest about their intent. If one is lucky you will get some honest flack and feedback from a woman and perhaps will see just how much they stand to lose. Should there be nothing to lose then (one more time) grow some balls, pack your shit, move on and deal with being alone for a little while, you'll get over it and perhaps (last time I swear) grow some balls and resemable a man.
The fundemental issue, for me, is the deception. It's an issue of trust...inner trust for feeling the need to lie to one to cover up for another....not to mention the loved one who probably has no idea that their loved one is on the hunt.
Anyway, my two-cents.
J
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