I read a story in the local paper that really bothered me for many reasons, A elderly lady was found dead in her house and had been dead over a year the last time anyone seen her was October 2007 when she picked up medication at the local drug store, she was 74 my Moms age. Now im wondering did she live far away from neighbors? No, she had neighbors yet no one noticed that her car in the driveway hadn't moved in 16 months. What really bothered me was the fact that her mail was left in the mailbox her yard was overgrown, the electric and phone had been cut off due to non payment yet no one checked to see why things were not being paid.
The answers given by some were that her late husband was a retired corrections officer and for fear of retaliation from convicts they lived in seclusion. That just is not a good enough reason for not checking on her. The only reason someone finally found her was back property taxes...her house was actioned off for taxes and the man the bought it drove by several times but noticed the car in the same place each time so he called the police. The police then entered the house finding her on the bedroom floor, apparently she had fallen out of bed hitting her head and then died. But she wasn't alone, her beloved dog was found by her side. Maybe this was the only one she knew would never let her down, that loved her unconditionally and stay with her forever.
When I was in nursing school we did clinicals at different places and one place was a nursing home, I also took a part time job there and I met a woman named Elenore, she was a very soft spoken,shy woman in late stages of Alzheimer's she had a love interest named Bob they we so cute together, he would always pull out the chair for her and when they walked it was hand in hand. Bob became very sick and passed away and within a few weeks we noticed that Elenore became very depressed, she stopped wanting to eat, began losing weight, the doctor said she lost her will to live and to just leave her alone.
Soon she took to her bed. We were told to just make sure she was comfortable. She had a brother and sister but they were both in their 80s and couldn't be with her when her time came. Our head nurse would say over and over that no one should die alone, that someone should be with them to let them know they mattered in this life. Over the next few days she became worse, I would ask her if she was in pain, she always said no...the weekend was coming and it was my weekend off and I secretly prayed that when I came back to work it would all be over. I don't know why I felt this way but I did. But someone had a much different plan.
Before I could leave my nurse called me into the nurses station and that Elenore wouldn't make it through the night and her family asked if anyone would sit with her so she wouldn't be alone, my first thought was NO!!!!! NOT ME!!!! But....I said yes I would. To make a long story short I sat for a very long time with Elenore talking, reading, listening to soft music even brushing her hair but most of all just holding her hand and letting her know that she mattered...not only to her family but she mattered to me.
After her death her family sent a card to me at work thanking me for staying with her and telling me a little about her life..she had never married but spent most of her life caring for others whenever she was needed she spent much of her life in the military as a nurse. Taped to the inside of the card was a pocket Angel and a little saying that said "I am a tiny Angel as small as your thumb, living in your pocket I was sent by a special friend who blessed you with angel care, to never leave you to always be there, To give you guidance, strength and love. I will never forget Elenore or her family and I will always be glad that I was able to give her and her family some kind of comfort. No one should die alone
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| ~~~~**Pocket Angel's and Dieing Alone**~~~~ |
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imlost2
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Apr 2 @ 7:53PM
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That is a very sad story. I think people who live alone should have that "First Alert" given to them along with their Social Security and something set up to check on them. You are right, we need better system, when the power gets shut off in a home, it's easy to check on the birth date of who lives there. You'd think with the computers now a days, some kind of program could be set up. Hey there's an idea for a computer buff, set up a program, you'd prolly get rich and save ppls lives at the same time. That's how patents get done. Anyways, back to what I was saying, you hear about ppl freezing when they shut off the heat, but no one checks to see if they are hurt or elderly. They sure make it out there to read your meters tho don't they? I think something can be done. Take care Lost
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HUGS4UANDME
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Apr 2 @ 8:08PM
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 very sad story ...how can people be so uncaring .......16 months ....all her mail had to be out there ...this mailperson does not think this is strange.....morons...her neighbors.....wth is wrong with people .....geeez
just so hard to believe that people can be so mean ............you did a wonderful thing for that women being there for her....and I am sure it was not easy to do either..............GOD BLESS YOU SWEETIE   
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Fender
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Apr 2 @ 8:30PM
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That is a shame that the poor old lady died and no one knew...It makes you think...
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ttomtarr
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Apr 2 @ 8:59PM
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Years ago. a retired nurse, Miss Rigs, lived several blocks away. She was shy, and would never talk long if you saw her in the front yard. She would talk about her pet snakes, and other odd things. She said she liked to be alone, and eventually died in a nursing home.
Years later, I saw a huge, fairly rare, red swamp mallow in the marsh behind her house, and went to try to pick some seeds. I found many kinds of wild plants she had brought home, her little place of gathered beauty in the abandoned swamp.
I have raised those mallows, and give away the seeds to anyone who wants them. When people ask me the variety, I tell them, Miss Riggs, a little gift from her.
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Jacksonboy
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Apr 2 @ 9:10PM
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That must have been very hard on you. Once again you have shown us how special you are. 
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Snappygoddess
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Apr 2 @ 9:34PM
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No one should die alone
You are so right and I am so glad Elenore had you by her side in her last hours. You are a true angel
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lovestobake
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Apr 2 @ 9:37PM
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This has you understanding why the angel in the movie green mile wanted to die. I think it was green mile with Tom Hanks. Thanks for sharing, I think.
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SpiritOrnery
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Apr 2 @ 10:40PM
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Sad for the lady left alone so long and good for you for being there for Elenore.
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leprichaun_magic
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Apr 3 @ 8:21AM
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That is so ,,sad,,:),,we should all feel compassion ..for other humans
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luneib
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Apr 3 @ 10:51AM
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Oh my gosh, your story moved me to tears. Elenore sounded like a lovely woman, so sad. 
In my town if you are elderly you can register with the town, have someone check in on you from time to time. We have wonderful programs for the elderly here.
I used to live in an apartment complex which had alot of elderly living there. One lady kept falling out of bed. My ex hubby was the super there so we had a key to her place to check on her. I would go in and find her on the floor having fallen out of bed. Lifting someone is like a dead weight too, it was not easy getting her back into bed. I phoned the man who was in charge of taking care of her, finally they put her in a convalescent facility. I worried about her alot living alone like that. Everyone should have someone to look after them if they are elderly and living alone. It really makes me sad reading your story about that lady back in 2007.
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thor22
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Apr 3 @ 7:21PM
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did you ever watch that movie with selma hayak who lived under the dictatorship of edward james olmos down in some south american country? the name of the movie might have been butterfly, but that is what they called selma's character. I believe it was the dictater augusto pinochet in chile. anyway, butterfly was the secret word for supportors of the coming revolution that would soon sweep thru the country, but in the end butterfly and her sisters were killed. still, the name butterfly meant freedom for the ruled masses.
I'm quailifing my comment with that little bit of info because reading MD's very own butterfly943's blog here has occassioned from me tears for my own angel.
First, I shed tears for that old lady and her dog, then I cried just learning butterfly's head nurse at death camp would allow her to sit the night thru with poor ol' elenore till she passed away. I cried for that alone because I know how understaffed and overworked nursing homes are, they also all usually have a high rate of turnover with their employees, so what it boils down to is our eldery in them places is often getting less than the personal ministrations they deserve.
sorry to anyone I may have offended when I first called this nursing home a death camp, but in far too many instances that is exactly what they have become, and I'm willing to bet our butterfly here will agree with me. Its always been a good indicater to me every time I ever go into a nursing home and the first thing I see is some old dude, or lady too, who is sitting in a wheelchair looking straight outside the front door and you just know that person is trying to figure out how to get the door open so they can escape to freedom.
Next, I cried for our md butterfly943 here...death is often sad to see for the living and for us believers angel wings can mean a lot. so...tho I shed for you butterfly, I am also proud to know you sat with ol' elenore during her last hrs and I'm also yet happy too, that you earned yerself some wings there, sista!
Sad tho is was for you butterfly, even if you weren't elenore's family, ty because you also reminded me of what I mentioned before...my angel. Some say different, but I say everytime someone cries tears an angel gets wings, and your story just caused me to name some angels again!
my own angel...soldiers' angels.org.
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1frantastic
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Apr 6 @ 5:14PM
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I personally know how disheartening it is to be alone and not have anyone ck on you...and I even live across the street from a big church....the pastor has visted me 3 or 4 times in the 12 yrs I have been here...but that is another story....If we do not contribute to what "society" expects...we are overlooked...sad but so true...I went to California to be with my mama as she was confined to a nursing home from the hospital and they WOULD>>>COULD not let us transfer her to another facility unless we paid the $7000 month for private pay...my mama quit eating and starved to death but nothing was done because she had a No RecussationOrder..I was back home in Texas when she died....at least my sister and daughter were there...they said she signed "I love you" because she could no longer speak....and died....
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