I Need A Hug Now.....Or Several posted 4/8/2009 9:00:18 PM | 12 kudos what's this?     report abuse tagged: love, hate, hurt

summerbreeze916

I'm trying to write this blog through tears...........tears of pain, tears of hurt and tears of guilt. I work for my sister, Dor. Her home is where I work six days a week. I take care of her, plus clean and do laundry and cook for her. Her son, my nephew, lives there as well. He spends most of his time out in the garage with his buddies. They have this little cute dog...rat terrier and pomeranian mix. His name is Slick. I call him Slicker or Slickerdoodle. He follows me around everywhere I go. Guess why? He knows I love the shit out of him. I am the one who takes care of his needs. I am the one who pays any amount of attention to this little guy. My sister and nephew told me constantly that I should take him home with me, and I repeatedly told them that I was not going to do that.

I come from a large family, and I am the one..........and only one........of the brothers and sisters who absolutely adores all animals. They could care less about them. Truthfully, they have no business even having a pet. None of them! They can all be such F**KERS! At least once during the course of my lifetime, I have DETESTED each and every one of them.......and all over an animal. I have gone for months without speaking to a few of them. They have ridiculed me all my life, because I.......and I will admit it here.........care more about animals than I do many, many people. I'm glad my children never picked up on their crap, and are more like me. My daughter loves the pets she has, and other's pets, too, but she will hunt. She knows better than to talk to me about it at all. My son is amazing. When I would hear of a dog being mistreated in any way, I would throw the keys to him to the van that I had at the time, and tell him to go and get it. We found good homes for several dogs. I knew they were good homes, because I screened the people myself. He has lived on his own for several years now, and the three dogs that he does have were all rescued by him.

I knew Slick wasn't feeling well these past few days. He's losing weight, because he's not eating......unless I give him a hotdog or treat or something really good. He's been drinking an awful lot of water, too. I feared he might be diabetic. Of course, they wouldn't notice this. How could they? Each morning for the past week, I've gone there, and his large water dish has been completely dry. All they could do was b**ch that Slick was peeing on the floor.....and last night threw up once in the house and had a runny stool. .

My nephew took Slick in for shots that were due, and I told him he needed to have him checked out TODAY! I left from work before he had returned with Slick. I just received a phone call from Dor. She informed me that if I wanted to see Slick one more time, I'd better drive back into town tonight. Slick is diabetic and is being put to sleep first thing in the morning. I'm feeling a little guilty, because I told her I wasn't coming back into town. It isn't the twenty-two mile drive back in. It's that I just don't think I can handle it at all. I'm not handling it now anyway. I mentioned to her while crying that I would hope my nephew would pick up his dog and water dishes by the time I get there in the morning and find somebody who could use the rest of his dog food. She said, "Your dog will eat it, won't IT?" I said, "What did you say?" She repeated it. I said, "What F**king dog?" DUH!!! She realized what she had said and did apologize with "I'm sorry. I forgot." How the hell can she forget that I just went through this Saturday night with my own dog? Four frickin' nights ago, and she forgets??????????? I'm trying to understand where they are coming from. Deep down, I do. It would cost them $200 a day for hospitalization for Slickerdoodle to get him better, and then whatever it would cost for two shots a day. I've been very fortunate in never having to make a decision such as this.

My Lacy was close to fifteen. She was a Dachshund Cocker mix. Looked like a Cocker, but had the Dachshund body. Adorable! She was also a rescue many years ago. She had congestive heart failure and a host of other things. I found all this out about six months ago or so. The Veterinarian felt that she would not survive a surgery. I had a hard time with this, because her beautiful brown eyes were just as bright as ever, and she always wagged her cropped little tail for me, and she would follow me everywhere I went. But she started coughing and choking so badly if she went too fast. So I would walk very slowly in front of her, so she wouldn't feel rushed. The Vet assured me that she was in no pain, so I would buy her medications for two weeks at a time. She lasted much longer than the Vet ever thought she would. She felt at best I would have Lacy only for a few weeks from when she had seen her last. I prayed to GOD above that I would be home when it was time and that my Lacy would not cry out in any kind of pain. I could not have dealt with that at all. My prayer was answered, and I have only GOD to thank for that. I got home at 7 p.m. Saturday night from work, and at 9:10 p.m., my Lacy passed away............peacefully. I wasn't very peaceful about it, but she was. That's what matters. I remembered the 'The Rainbow Bridge' that somebody here at one time had the insight to post. That has helped me a great deal. I thank you for that.

I want to take the time right now to thank a very good friend I have made here. He knew through my emails how upset I was and took the time to call me. He talked me into coming in here and writing a blog of how I'm feeling. I am still feeling very distraught over all of this, but I'm glad I shared my feelings with my other friends..........all of you. I just hope I don't come off as being a bitch. I'm not. I'm just having a really rough time right now. I could use some of those very special hugs that you give so freely..........and thank you.

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Blogs by summerbreeze916: Part Two - 2b: The Hospital Part Two - 2a: The Hospital Part Two - 1: The Hospital Part One: The Telephone Call This Song......... Food For Thought Ho Hum............Another Worry For Men Great Expectations-----Part Two Great Expectations-----Part One Weather.........The Itch My Son Happy Birthday Wishes I Need A Hug Now.....Or Several TeeHeeHee.......... Rhonda Jean.........AGAIN! I NEED SOME! Oh, Happy Day....... Good Morning!!! JOKE...........I HOPE YIKES! A REPOST! It's Almost Over! Cute.............I Think I've Had Enough Already! I Hate When This Happens! Rhonda Jean