I lay quietly beside her and listen as she slowly breathes in and out. I can feel her heartbeat,sometimes even and sometimes sporadic,and with every uneven beat,my dies just a little more.She is beautiful,she always has been and I cannot imagine life without her. I have talked to the doctors and the support groups with all of their sage wisdom and have heard more times than I care to count the many cliches,"time heals all wounds,","things will get easier in time","she is going to a better place", blah,blah,blah, to hell with your rantings,I want her back!!! I know I have to let her go,but I think I'll hang on just a few seconds more.I feel the tears start to come then,not the gut wrenching kind that you would expect,but the silent torrent that speaks of a pain so deep that the human soul is incapable of bearing it. I know that I should leave now,that I have to let her go,but I think I'll hang on just a few seconds more.Suddenly I feel her body stiffen and I hear her gasping for her last breath. I close my eyes and pray harder than I ever have,God,let me keep her,I swear that I will be a better person,I will become the man that you have always wanted me to be!! My beautiful seven year old relaxes and it takes me a moment to realize that I can no longer hear those short ragged breaths. She is quiet now and the only sound within the room is the sound of my tears. I know they will come soon to tell me it's over and that I will have to find a way to go on with my life but for now,I'm content to just hold her for a few seconds more.
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