Today has been a rather dreary day.
Following lots of warm, sunny weather, yesterday it rained all day long.
Today, well, it’s been cool & breezy & partly cloudy.
I had plans for things to do outside, but weather did not permit.
I found myself inside tending to small tid-bits.....
Things that I’d been pushing to the side.
I had 2 years worth of paid bills & such that needed shredding.
I sat down & got busy.
Amongst all of the paperwork were my cell phone bills.
Each cell phone bill that I shredded contained his number.
It was there….numerous times….over & over again.
The memories, they all came rushing back in.
Memories that I had also pushed to the side.
And suddenly, the wounds felt fresh all over.
He was such a part of my life for a number of years.
So distant, yet so close.
Partly dream like, but also a nightmare.
No longer do I suffer the drama.
But he’s still there. Deep inside my heart & soul.
I hunger for the day someone new enters my life.
Someone who will help immediately erase all traces from the past.
Is anybody out there?
Can you feel my pain?
Do you wish for the same as I?
I’m content. But I’m lonely.
And life goes on.
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read more blogs!
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RainSongSpirit
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May 18 @ 7:30PM
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i hear your pain.....i can feel it....hang in...we must 
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luneib
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May 18 @ 7:31PM
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Oh do I know that feeling. I still have alot of papers from my ex hubby, it hurts to see them, you remember being with that person for so many years and realize that you won't see them again, ugh. He is a good man but was just not the right man for me.
I felt as you do now, I was content but lonely, my bf found me, I was going to remove my profile from the dating website on the day he wrote me. Funny how fate stepped in, it might happen that way for you too, just never give up hope.
I think after we get out of a relationship, we have to learn to love ourselves again, that takes time, but if you can be content living alone and learning to do that, then you should be fine until you meet Mr. Right.
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suzzieq356
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May 18 @ 7:38PM
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You will be ok missy!!!!! Feel better.... 
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HUGS4UANDME
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May 18 @ 7:42PM
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Fender
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May 18 @ 7:45PM
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chatillion
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May 18 @ 7:46PM
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Dreary day huh?
I'm going to swim to my car tonight when I leave the office.
Thunder is shaking the building.
Here, take a look at: >> South Florida Radar <<
It was sunny and hot earlier. Florida weather is like that.
Someone I work with asked me about skin cancer. He's developed
a bump on the side of his forehead, probably from exposure to the
sun. I showed him 2 'dime size' white blotches on my shoulder where
I had pre-cancerous tissue removed. He said "From the Sun?" I
replied "No, from my ex-girlfriend who thought it was a good idea
to mix some anesthetic chemicals in the ultrasound gel when she
treated me for a shoulder injury"
...And suddenly, the wounds felt fresh all over.
I hear ya... It's kinda odd to think about her. Tomorrow, I have to visit
a jobsite right near her office. Too close for comfort. How I dread to
actually see her in public and that I wish there were a different route
to get to that appointment.
I consider myself lucky... less than an hour ago, a friend called. She
want's to leave her husband but she's unsure how to get out and where
she will go.
Feel better now? 
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ceecee1952
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May 18 @ 7:49PM
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every things gonna be alright...
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ttomtarr
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May 18 @ 7:49PM
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Blustery day here too.
Going through the to be fixed pile in the workshol, I too found many traces of the past. Any that brought back negative feelings hit the trash, don't need the stuff or the memories.
Now the decks are clear for action, and new projects in action.
I'm, sorry to hear that you're sad. Today's rain will bring tomorrows flowers.
Here's a few for you right now.
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Borty
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May 18 @ 7:59PM
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When I get like that I usually go for a long walk..rain or shine...it seems to put things into perspective. When I think about past loves ..I only think about the good times which puts a lopsided view of how it really was...then I think why I'm not with them anymore...that usually ends the nostalga.
A friend of mine just found a gentlemen and they are happy with one another which sorta makes me sad because I may not be hearing from them anymore...she didn't find him online but at work. I'm happy for them but will miss her because we used to have lots of fun joking around online...its just time for her to move on and consentrate on their relationship.
It was sunny and warm yesterday but today is cold and rainy ...are you sure you don't live in Calgary... 
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chatillion
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May 18 @ 8:31PM
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Better now?
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missliss78
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May 18 @ 8:41PM
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Better now?
Thanks friend.
All will be well.
I know one thing, I am blessed with some very dear friends here.
Thank you all for your kind words.
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ragtopcookie
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May 18 @ 8:43PM
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Over the weekend my daughter took out a box full of pictures when her and her brother were little.....as i was looking thru them...i found some pictures of me and her mom years ago when we were still together.....and i have to admit...some of those picturs put a smile on my face.....we were so young back then....but i had no problem putting those pictures back in the box.....because what is over...is over..and what i was married to back then...is sure not whats a few miles down the road today.....done....gone....and over........cookie
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Tiramisu4u
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May 18 @ 9:05PM
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coming your way across the miles... 
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ttomtarr
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May 18 @ 9:21PM
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Saying it's over is not saying it was bad. It is just done.
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oceanlover734
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May 18 @ 9:25PM
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Wonderfully sad but great writing because we could all "feel" you. This moment in time will pass............you know this and life goes on. Hugs lady. ~*~
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summerbreeze916
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May 18 @ 9:37PM
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Dreary days can do this to us, missliss. There are sunny days ahead again. Mark my words. I don't really know what happened, so maybe I'm way out of line for thinking this at all. But I can tell you that I've had a few days like this, and I really wasn't so much missing a past love. It's that I was missing SOMEBODY in which to share my life with.
Oh, missliss......I wish I were there to give you a big, well deserved and much needed hug. I'm afraid this will have to do. 
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sweetxy
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May 18 @ 9:42PM
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I think I understand your feeling,,no more suffering no more drama but deep inside it still there.....That's normal...don't bother with it. as logn as we have brain to remember things..I know it so well..good or bad everythign in the past still here deep in my thought sometimes but I have nothing to do with it,I like to live with present as today is a gift, please accept and cherrish the gift we have in our everyday life.
Feel better!
Sad but Beautiful write Missliss
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luvshorses644
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May 18 @ 9:53PM
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Ugly day here also.. and I have a strep throat, so I had tons of time to think too.. glad I didn't find things with memories like yours.
It really is OK Miss.. you know that.. a purpose for all things... doesn't help much, but here's a hug to tide you over...
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MNgrownGApeach
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May 18 @ 9:55PM
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I have felt that way too many times, brought tears to my eyes - heartfelt and beautifully poetic.
Peace & Prayers.
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lily799
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May 18 @ 10:12PM
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89* here. Winter blues are on there way out. I think I miss the memory of how I wanted him to be, not the way he really was. Big hug for you.
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hpylady
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May 18 @ 10:27PM
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I think we all have those very same feelings from time to time .. Bortys idea of a walk is very good .. if you can't get out to walk .. put some good music on and dance dance dance .. you'll feel better and
tomorrow is a new day .. I hope a happier one for you
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DRACULA_VwV
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May 18 @ 11:17PM
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Life is just a fantasy, can you live this fantasy life. We live in the here and now, yesterday's gone, tomorrow has yet to arrive, things of the past are over and can never happen again, future events are constantly bombarding us in the here and now, if we stop to reminisce, we realize it's only a recording within our minds, is it real? no. It was just the dead past, when we live in the here and now, we will always be entertained, life is lived in the present, the past is left to die, life is just a fantasy and the fantasy is the only reason why.
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Purplemix1
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May 18 @ 11:41PM
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Big hugs my friend, Memories from the past, will always have moment that they reappear,, some good, some bad, a lot of sad.. But each new days bring Hope for something to happen which will create new memories .. May tomorrow be that day for you,
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DRACULA_VwV
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May 18 @ 11:52PM
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I have a few loves, I love my .50 caliber automatic, I love the way it rips through steel, I love the kick it makes me feel, It lets me know that pain is real, And has the raw ability to maim and kill, I love my Ninja, I love it's speed, I love my money, My pride and greed, And when I'm cut, I love to bleed, I love the hatred that I'm shown, Yet it don't effect my heart of stone, And if I die before I wake, I'll love the journey that I'll take, As I float through time and space, I'll greet the angels face to face, I'll float upon the clouds of doom, I'll live my life beyond the tomb, Love will fill my Demonic eyes, Every time a human cries.
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hoftner
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May 19 @ 4:19PM
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thx for shareing
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jentoblues101
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May 19 @ 5:55PM
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I think I know what you're feeling. I had that kind of melancholy over B for two years (two years!?) and the week of Mother's Day it resolved itself: the veil was torn away and I saw him for what he is--not who I wanted him to be--and a load was taken off my shoulders.
I hope for the same kind of epiphany for you, too.
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Sweetheart83446
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May 20 @ 7:08PM
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*sigh
Sounds like someone needs a kiss through the phone...
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chatillion
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May 20 @ 7:21PM
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Sounds like someone needs a kiss through the phone...
You're right... call me now 1-800-IM-A-STUD
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butterfly943
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May 20 @ 7:33PM
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I sure hope your doing better
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ncblu53
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Jun 17 @ 7:54PM
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HUGSSSSSSSS MY FRIEND....
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mystery2u888
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Jun 17 @ 8:55PM
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miss
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Tunes4u
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Jun 17 @ 10:33PM
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~*~
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