Where do you draw the line? If your adult children approach you about suspecting you have a drug problem - how do you feel? My youngest son and his wife are staying with me temporarily, being he's out of a job (like everyone else around here). On Sunday they were cleaning their room and found screws and bolts to my bed that should have been placed safely to locate when they move out. So they opened my dresser drawer to place them inside, and an envelope was caught and opening (they said) showing packets of white powder.  Actually, I use that drawer for prescription and over-the-counter drugs - my personal pharmacy. One of those drawers where you store prescriptions you no longer have to take, or perhaps meds you only use occasionally for sinus or colds.
So they became concerned when they discovered that mom had white powder in packets in an envelope. It looked like the real stuff. They immediately called a highway patrol friend, went to his home, and had it tested for coke. No, it did not turn blue in the bottle. He agreed to help them out - perhaps come to the house and discuss it, possibly an intervention here. They were questioned about my having mood swings to which they felt I have had a change in personality lately. Now who wouldn't have a change in mood if you have lived alone for years and suddenly get 2 family members and a dog in your home? I mean, really, how can one maintain normal under these conditions of having your house turned upside down and my 2 cats invaded by a high strung dog? However, my son and his wife decided to give me benefit of doubt and my son approached me yesterday asking what it was they found. After all, the highway patrol friend had said "it doesn't look good - don't know what it is, but it's not looking good".
My son told me what they found. What was in those packets - the white powder? My first reaction was whether someone was messing with me. Could someone have planted them in my drawer? I had no knowledge of what they were! I come from a well respected family. My deceased mother was a sheriff deputy for many years! I am a retired paralegal, having worked in the field of law for over 30 years!
So my son brought the packets to me in the envelope, showed me his discovery. I started laughing. It was 4 packets of "Goody's" aspirin given to me by my aunt for my headaches.  She had asked I try them for my migraines. I did not label them. After all, it's my personal drawer - who would think someone would be nosing through it? Yes, it's powder form, packaged very neatly in papers and stuffed in an envelope to avoid spilling out. I gave the room to my son and his wife until they could get back on their feet, but many of my possessions are still there. So where do you draw the line?
On one hand, I should be glad they were concerned about my well being. They were going to take immediate action to get me help. On the other hand, what right do they have to be opening my drawer? Why not give ME the nuts and bolts and allow ME to put them where I would not lose them? I'm sure they proceeded to go thru the remaining bottles of meds in there just to make sure they had it all!
It's been a real problem knowing they were rooting through my drawer. The other day my son said I left out my blood pressure readings, and he looked at it too. I suppose I should be happy he is watching over me, but I really don't feel it is necessary at my age. Of course, he feels I am OLD. His definition of OLD is when you turn 50. I'm about to turn 63 - not afraid to tell anyone. I really am not needing a caretaker yet. Have you seen the commercial where they say you should lock up your drugs because your children could take them to school?  I never thought I would have to do this for my ADULT son!
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electricman
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May 19 @ 11:52AM
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Kinda bitter sweet huh...I think a good sitdown with the both of them to draw out some personal privacy boundaries in a calm and loving manner might do the trick. After all, it's your house, and they are there out of the goodness of your heart. Let them know Mom is still in charge! 
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classic57
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May 19 @ 12:23PM
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having your kids move back in your home $ 500 
replacing the stuff from the high strung dog and fomer laid back kitties $800 
reversing roles with your kids 
priceless  
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ttomtarr
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May 19 @ 12:27PM
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The story of finding the powder seems innocent enough, though if you suspect plundering through your private places, that needs to be dealt with.
Concern with your well being is a good thing.
Immediately involving the highway patrol without without your knowledge or permission is a major privacy and trust violation. In regard to drugs, the policeman is not your friend! Is your son so naive to think a cocaine positive test would not be officially noted?
A very direct discussion of privacy and respect boundries seems to be in order. Less than an apology and agreement to greater respect for the home owner would have major consequences in my home, including a new bedroom under a bridge for the informers.
Their actions may indicate some other tensions forming. An wise old lady once told me that "two women can't cook on the same stove without one of them getting burned", Was the one who first wanted to run to a cop him or her?
Tensions are bound to arise in the situation you are in, but agreement about boundries will minimalize them, and discussion of the problems will defuse them while still small. You might remind them both that senior is NOT the same as senile.
Good luck, and hopes for smoother sailing in the future.
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luneib
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May 19 @ 1:15PM
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It's one thing having your son and his wife move in with you, but it's another thing when it comes to respecting your privacy. There has to be a line drawn here. You have to talk to your son about that. Set down the rules, no going through drawers for any reason. You are granting them a place to stay from the goodness of your heart. It sounds like your son meant well...was only looking after Mom, making sure you were ok, so I'd mention that too to him that you realize he was only trying to protect you from harm and you understand that. It has to be a tough situation to be in, living alone, then all of a sudden two people and a dog. Yeh, I'd have mood swings too if I were you lol.
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Purplemix1
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May 19 @ 1:19PM
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I would not have been so upset if one of my children found something they thought was drugs or harmful,, If they brought it to me and ask me what it was, I would have been VERY UPSET though , if they took it to a agency to have tested... not that they'd have found anything illegal.. but the thought that Rumors grow sometimes from innocent situations,, It would be my luck, someone would mention things here and there, and before long friends and neighbors would be saying.. ,, That women had drugs in her home.. when in fact, it was just over counter meds,,,,,,I've seen the Goody headache meds, my brother in law takes them all the time... ... Do a experiment,,, Tell a friend a story, have her to repeat it to another friend,, and another, then have the 5th person call you back and tell you the story,, by the time it's repeated back to you, It's a totally new story...,, I'd be saying, Son,, i'm glad you worry and are concerned, but ,,, If you have something on your mind, come to me and discuss it,, you might end up getting Mom in a situation where i need more than GOODY headache meds to fix the problem...
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imlost2
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May 19 @ 2:39PM
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I think if you took your son in to your home he should have had the decency to come to you directly and talk to you and this matter could have been cleared up. I agree with the rest, he shouldn't have been snooping in your envelops. Putting the screws in the drawer is one thing, but looking through your things is another. He didn't respect your home and privacy and I bet this isn't the first time he's been through your things. Seems like a deeper problem with your son knowing where his boundaries lie. Remember it's your house and he has rules to follow. There is a trust factor missing and it seems he doesn't really know you very well that he had to go to the police instead of directly to you. This needs to be solved if possible. Take care Lost
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TripOnLove
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May 19 @ 3:06PM
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Where do you draw the line?
I am sorry to say but your punk ass son and daughter/law are two of the biggest MORONS and LOSERS ever.
To even think that a 62 year old woman doing doing cocaine is one thing but to then take that substance to the police to have it tested is WAY over the top. WTF were they thinking ?
Maybe they were hoping you would be arrested and put in jail and then they would have YOUR house to themselves.
I would throw both their sorry asses and the dog out of your house YESTERDAY and tell them to have a nice life and don't let the door hit them in the asses on their way out .
That's where you draw the line .
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beckyiv42000
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May 19 @ 3:20PM
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They crossed a big line.. being concerned about your well being is one thing.. taking numerous PACKETS to be tested without your knowledge is another.. packaged up like that is cause for suspicion of dealing in drugs... and you are now on the watched list either way.. sorry to say.. I hope they get on their feet soon for YOUR peace of mind ... 
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missliss78
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May 19 @ 8:42PM
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I think some very good ideas/advice have been laid out here.
I hope you get it worked out to YOUR satisfaction SOON!
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bardnsage
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May 20 @ 1:48AM
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Setting boundries with adult children is hard. But,,, a easy sit down, over some wine,,, and an adult conversation later,,,, and the boundries are set.
Don't be too mad with them. If I were there,,, I might be plundering your private places too.
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