When one has an opinion how something is suposed to work but DOESN'T express it...then how can another person know what is happening?
When "working for a salary" there are certain things that need to be spelled out...where...when...how long..doing what....what equipment..alone or together....It is when these things have NOT been specified, but only the monthly salary then trouble ensues! And thusly it has caused trouble! $25 a day is a pitiful amount to work for...but if agreed to be sufficient...then that would be ok....but a day has how many working hours? Some days very little...others more...if you don't have to punch a time clock and don't have a deadline...other than getting it done! I do think that waking up, coffee, computer time alone,( ie:reading e-mail, weather forecasts, financial news, world events of interest, and even blogging if need be...or....contacting new "prospective admirers")and getting into the "mood" of starting the workday doing something that is not exactly pleasant....like LONG OVERDUE HOUSEWORK....and sorting through pack-rat material is hard to do.
Who leads the way when both of two people are procrastinators and need to be kicked in arse to get started on ANYTHING? And especially when one is so easily sidetracked and can't stay on task? There needs to be a schedule! One that is workable...things WRITTEN down to see when and how to accomplish it. The "Let's do this today" is a good start...but needs a little more to go on...Like perhaps..."bench markers" to determine progress and how to set up next schedule? But what if other person wants to do things his way (no schedule) and if he had once mentioned the way to do something...you were to have engraved it in stone and remember exactly what he said...cause he remembers everything...(even if frequently misunderstands what actually happened or the intent of what was said)...
And if pursuing this "adventure in regaining control of house"( control was lost yrs ago) and creating a place in which to actually live and thrive...not just mearly exist...was percieved by two people who did NOT discuss properly the sequence of the unfolding events....maybe perhaps due to the "Swine Flu" scare so matters went ahead more hastely than should have occured?Living in an alternative location while main location was regained properly...but then that fell by wayside also....and alternative location was utterly compromised to begin with, yet no attempt to "prepare it"...just leave it as is and work and live in main location...Hard to work and live in main location when so much work need be done....like completely empting out rooms to put into "keep...toss...sell" piles....when one person wouldn't let other person work independantly and use judgement on what to work on ...cause would at least be working....instead of working on computer...
Hard for two" controlling the situation "people to work together ...especially if NEITHER would say anthing to the other!....until things were NOT progressing and one person complained about lack of progress and used the word "not working" was taken as a slur against the person instead of being about the tasks completed in a timely manner as "not working"....See what happens when things said are not understood as what was meant?
And...futher misunderstanding came along...that of "personal time alone"....both people have been hermits...except for the computer...and socializing therewith...while one person needed time to search net for social contacts and update with current ones ...the other person was overjoyed to be in presence of a live person.....not realizing it was detrimental to the ensuing relationship and was percieved as "smothering"....
Add to all of this trying to "live" and "clean" and "repair/maintain" with two people who were NOT on same page to accomplish the final desired results of having a house in which to enjoy a "quality of life", add a person and/or persons NOT here physically, but hearing ONE SIDE of situation and giving advice as to what MAY be happening! AND was wrong opinion...but caused strife to one of the people(actually to both people)who handled this strife by NOT TALKING about it but choosing to leave....for ?greener pastures?...who knows? BUT...the work agreed upon to be completed in a 3 month period(which was way behind) was just abandoned! He left! Pulled up his alternative location and made his way out of town to parts unknown! Yet had taken a long time when preparing to come here in first place! Wanted the best deal and to make sure would be able to "afford" to help a friend until was re-located with a job....since he had been without one for several months...so....said friend put up front an amount of $$$ to insure his trip would be safe...no truck breakdowns and be stranded...and he accepted...surely he would repay when had sufficient income....but repayment was not assured! If friend could finally have work done, was willing to bear the cost of getting other friend down here safely...but thought work would continue more than 26 days from time of arrival!!!!
Although going very slowly...(due to temperments of parties involved) things were beginning to take shape...There was now a swamp cooler to cool off major portion of house...including bedroom...and his A/C was placed in window to assist in cooling the office/computer/sunroom...(which he removed and took with him.(continued)
..but did replace it with a small swamp cooler he had worked on for a couple of days...costing $200 for labor for getting air conditioning...and no other cleaning/repairs made so couldn't see progress...but was NECESSARY for temperature was 107 to 109 and must have cool place!)
And we did laugh and joke and have fun while doing these labor intensive chores....and ate at Sonic at the $ menu regularly....The kitchen was not operating and his kitchen was under junk as well....Neither kitchen had a refridgerator...but the "alternative kitchen"....(which was suposed to be his bedroom) had the refridge that was purchased to replace the one destroyed when electricity was cut off when one party was in California last August....
Soo....all in all...things were doing ok....UNTIL someone took what was said and made a soap-opera out of it and convinced him it was all a "bushwack job!" That he was NOT invited to "fix house" at all!....Me thinks someone was jealous!  
This report is to clarify any misunderstandings or opinion conceived falsely by busy bodies who do not or did not know the situation and began gossip that hurts people!
I know people have been hurt when things were not as they were percieved to be! Why can't people believe that friends can be friends with out being FWB?
I do know he didn't consider me a "romantic relationship" and I did love him as much as he would allow....I think he is a very smart man in politics and philosophy...but lacks understanding of how women really need to be respected and not tr
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