I Got Dumped Last Night..... posted 5/27/2009 8:20:00 PM | 10 kudos what's this?     report abuse

tentfire

.......because I won't withdraw and wallow.

I have been dating someone for the last few months. A mutual friend introduced us and thought we would make a great pair. We became friends first, a few of us meeting at a friend's house on the weekends, playing board games, eating dinner together (as a group of singles tired of eating alone), chatting and so forth. Then J finally asked me out.

In the beginning things were great. He was wonderfully patient after I had my heart attack in February (and probably a couple of smaller ones since) and I had to slow way down. I couldn't do much but rest and watch TV/movies. Even writing, typing and talking on the phone took too much energy. He pampered me with occasional nice surprises and even sent me a wonderful cookie bouquet once....... just because. He showered me with "I Love You's" and things just really seemed to click.

Then as I began to improve and get a little strength back (verdict is still out as to what exactly is wrong with my heart, but I will save that for another blog) I went back to opening my store full time and trying to slowly catch up on many of the things I have fallen way behind on. Life continues to go on without us, you know. And since work must be done, and has to be done now at a MUCH SLOWER pace, free time kinda gets shoved to the way side as I am getting back into the swing of things. I had just had several weeks of so much free time I was going crazy. I am NOT one to sit idle. I tried to make sure I had at least a couple hours of free time for him several days a week, and at least nearly one full day each week. But I guess that wasn't enough........

Things began to change. He began to call me every little bit throughout the day, wanting to know what I was doing. He wanted me to get a text package so he could text me all day (to keep up with me). I couldn't get any work done. He became overly jealous of any male customer (especially friends) that came into my store. He made constant subtle accusations that I might be interested or seeing this person or that. Sometimes they weren't so subtle. Initially I had told him that I was the type that had a lot of male friends and always had. He said he was okay with that because he had a lot of female friends. I was okay with that. Apparently he really wasn't. I met and visited with many of his friends, male and female. He would never meet any of mine. He was jealous if I spent any time with my friends, male or female.....jealous of the time they took away from me, one was a surprise visit from my best girlfriend that I hadn't seen in 10 years or so. He has had a lot of negatives in his life over the last few years, but seemed to be coming out of it. Then he reverted to withdrawing and wallowing. Sometimes subtly... sometimes bluntly... he wanted me to give up square dancing and my friends in that circle (I belong to a square dance club and have for years-we are like a close family), change/give up my church (preferably give it up), only work a few hours a day (can't keep my business going nor pay my bills that way), give up my little farm, and just sink down into self pity and wallow with him....isolate ourselves, cuddle and watch movies day after day as we wallow in sadness. That's not healthy! That's not me! Turns out, all that "slow time" after my heart attack was what he was looking for. I will always be as active as my body will let me be. I could write volumes about the last few months, but I will try to skim over it for the moment.

He had stood me up several dates in a row (his way of punishing me for being busy) and hadn't called me in a week (cold shoulder treatment-again, punishment because I couldn't answer the phone fast enough the last time he called). I had intended to break it off but couldn't get a chance to talk to him to do it. Then he walked into my shop last night right after closing time with an angry look on his face and said, "I just wanted to stop in and give you your key back." as he handed me my house key. I asked him what was going on. He said it wasn't going to work, I had too busy of a life. I didn't have enough time for him (he also mumbled something about him needing to get a few things straight in his, but he meant I didn't have hours each day to give him undivided attention.) This person that had said several times a day that he loved me now says he wants to stay friends, wants to come "visit" now and then, said when I get my life slowed down maybe we will try to pick back up again. In other words, "I'm going to bail while you are in crisis mode and just go home and put my feet up every night." NOPE.... picking back up isn't going to happen.

I NEED CHOCOLATE!!! Thank you VERY much for reading my rant.

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