Duo personalities-1 for real life-1 for cyberspace sites posted 6/1/2009 5:48:45 PM | 0 kudos what's this?     report abuse tagged: scammers

ablessedlady

I have been on dating,friendship,clubs,educational sites and probably a few other types. Being I have only had a comp. for alittle over 2 years, I make no claim to being an expert on this subject. Have no blind studies or any proven theory to back it up. Just my opinion and knowledge I have gained from being in cyberspace and meeting so many people under many circumstances,but mostly dating sites.

I have always been real. At least since my 20's. Never felt the need to impress someone with an exageration. Wouldn't lie to someone on a site in hopes it would attract them to me. First I don't lie,to me it is a no-no.Then if it was okay to me,would know that person would find out truth when we met. Also do not find pleasure in playing head games on or off comp.. SoI don't fit into the Duo personality charechter(sp). If I meet a person in person first time,never have spoken, I am no different then I am on my pc,okay other than a tad more cautious on here.

I have met and have heard much from others on the same lines,men who out right lie,some who find pleasure in reeling a woman in and then disappearing,guys who boldy speak their mind on comp.,but in person are totally shy or introverted,some who describe themselves(not in a matter of opinion way),then they are not what they described at all,of couse the spammers,scammers and criminal minded.

I venture that some who are 2 different people, are ill or mean no harm.For those I do feel sadness for they are not out to hurt or play head games. They don't realize what they are doing.However I feel imo that the % of those are very low.So the others,what do they hope to gain when they present themselves as someone other than they are,or on purpose pretend to be captivated by a women they have been corresponding with,when they plan from the start,to not follow through on meeting. Someone who says brown hair,athletic build,earn over 50,000 and thn they are bald,heavyset and make minumin wage? Now the latter being reality do not bother me in a person who is real about themselves.Not putting anyone down in that way.But what do they think when they meet me?Other than the fact I may not be at all what they want. Seriously,do they think"she will forget I lied to her for some time while we were getting to know one another", or "it's okay everyone does it and she probably did too,so it all works out"???? Then some who have or claim to have children they are or did raise. Talking about how they brought the kids up right. Yet they come on a dating site,read a profile that is clearly not someone looking for good time and type nasty ideas,first message yet. How would they feel if their son's did the same?Or daughters got the same type of message? Some it seems to me use other people they meet in cyberspace to take out aggressions on from a prior relationship,or don't seak up in real life,so get on here to get out what they wanted to say to someone in person but didn't.

On a one to one basis,I don't sit and ponder why a man has said or done any of this or other misleading behavior. Could try for hours or days to figure it out but will never really know,so who has time to waste on negativity in that way. I have actually been hurt only 1 time out of several of these occurences. I got to know a supposed gentleman and in person for a few times still seemed to be and think as gentleman I had met. Then in 1 day he did 3 things the opposite of what he clearly knew I looked for in a man. So I ended it and was hurt for a few days,I am human . However most others I can let go and move on.Tell myself in a few cases glad it happened before we did if we would meet.

Again no expert,no P.H.D. in phsycology. However it seems natural to me that a person will be the same when you meet in cyberspace as they are in real life. I know that a man will have some faults,he is human. There will be subjects we will differ on,that's life. So why not be you?Espeically if you are looking seriously to meet a prospective long term lady?

I must say this,I am speaking from my experiences and that of other women to men relationships.However,it is also done in reversal and I know a few men friends who have got the same from women. Really this fits for either sex. For me,the woman I have met and some have become friends in time,have been real as far as I know.But again this 2 different personality thing swings both ways. No matter who does what to who .

Okay felt like putting my 3 cents down on paper and I did.
To any who read it through,thanks for taking the time,whether you agree,disagree or of no opinion. To all have a great week,and be careful out here in computer land.

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