Since I started blogging here on MD, I have shared with you about many things. I have told you a lot about myself, my thoughts and feelings about other things and people, my family and friends, and my poems.
This blog is about a chapter in my mothers life... an extremely painful one. I love my mother dearly and am very proud of her. I have told you she is an acoholic and one that has never been through a program.
Before she moved here in September of 2002, she lived 300 miles away near my sister... alone in a little apartment. She was then 78, and drinking every moment that she could. My sister refused to give mom any of her social security money in fear that it would all be spent on booze. Although that was probably true, my sister could have easily worked out some different arrangement for mom so that she could get what was due her each month, and it wouldn't be spent in a fashion that was unhealthy for mom.
Anyway, mom did "things" during those worse years of her life. She not only constantly drank... but she stole, she dug in trash cans, she asked strangers to live with her but ONLY if they had access to a regular amount of booze. She often forgot about eating or taking her medication.
Needless to say, when Christmas, Mothers Day, or My birthday came... she had NO money... BUT she had found a "special" present for me in someones trash can. Many things like dolls or flower pots were chipped, and other things were worn and frayed.... some things I never did figure out the purpose of.....she also made several gifts... Hand sewed them, or hand painted them. One year I got a little pillow shaped like a heart. It was trimmed in lace, and she had sewed an S in the center of it Then another time I recieved what looked to be a carpet sample... and ugly one, lol. It was very important to me however because mom chose it and touched it. I can't be sure but I think, knowing my sister as I do, that she may have thrown these less than perfect things away. .
There was a very scary time when I feared I would never even see my dear mother again.
MY POINT you say to this blog??? In the worst years of my moms life, when she was suffering in so many ways like malnutrition, bad eyesight, seizures, etc., she often not only thought of ME... but thought of ME with LOVE... dear love.
I have cleaned up and kept most of these items and over the years when something broke... I cried. For someday, assuming I out live mom, my tears will roll off this treasures as I clutch them to my heart. I will still realize that mom LOVES me, more than I ever thought for a while.
I am SO glad she is here, and even she realizes that if she hadn't come to live with me, she would be gone,
"I Love You Too Mom!!" 
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Blogs by sybnann:
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| Broken Presents, Broken Dreams |
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ceecee1952
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Jun 3 @ 10:45AM
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you share from your depths, those that we can not understand we can understand by educating our heart
ty for sharing
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dizzydoll
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Jun 3 @ 12:52PM
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you are an angel, many would walk away and be done with an alcoholic mum
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hpylady
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Jun 3 @ 7:11PM
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It's wonderful that you can remember the good along with the bad .. life does not always treat people well .. but through all the problems you seen her love for you..
priceless
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MrPaul
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Jun 3 @ 9:00PM
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gunn12fan
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Jun 3 @ 10:42PM
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1frantastic
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Jun 4 @ 5:22PM
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oh syb... I can understand your sentiments..my mama always told me "If you'd only...." followed by whatever I had NOT done to her perfectionist expectations....but as she was dying, it was I who diapered her and dressed her burning diarreah wounds, and read to her and made peace with her...She looked into my eyes and told me she loved me for being there for her....She had told me years earlier she did not tell me she loved me because no one told her that when she was growing up so why did I need that? I still have the ugly things she made for me, but they are beautiful because she made them for me.....I treasure them more now....because she can't make anything for me anymore....
She died Jan 7 at age of 97.
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Tanikogirl
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Jun 5 @ 11:59AM
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Thank you so much for sharing a part of your life that must of been so very painful,but also the love you had and hold for your dear Mother. Everyone has their faults,but seeing past those is truly loving a person.
My dear Father is 96 years old and very ill, I do not know how much time I have left with him, but the moments I do have are very prescious,its funny how the little things matter the most and you want to treasure always. It is a bond that can never be broken even when you have lost them.
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