Has this ever happen to you?
When you first meet someone, you wonder, am I meeting the real them? or are they meeting the real you? Often times we are conditioned to put our Best Foot Forward.... It's said, it's to make a "Great Impression" well, that is what were told..
Far to often, in reality were meeting their "Agent or Represenitive" or their meeting ours, it's really not the real them, and maybe for some, not the real us.Sadly I think some may feel the real them isn't going to be as attractive enough to someone, or maybe, they just don't want to take a chance of blowing it.
At first it can seem like their almost to good to be true, and we were thinking, this person is wonderful...why their charming, fun great sense of humor, thoughtful, considerate, they say and do all the right things....Now don't get me wrong, many are this way naturally, and it just flows, others struggle with it.
But here's what can happen....out of no where reality rears its ugly head... Suddenly the charm fades away, their not so fun, their sense of humor ran dry, thoughtless and sometimes rude, pushy and your thinking what happen to this wonderful person I met? The Best Foot Forward, just turned into both feet forward, now were seeing the real them... Disappointment sets in, and were thinking, Dang you almost had me, you were so close....
So is putting the best foot forward the right thing to do? Oooooh personally, I would rather someone put both feet forward from the onset....and lemme see who you really are, so I dont get false hopes or think your something your not! It's my own opinion, that when you put your best foot forward you raise the standard of what someone expects you to be or are! When in reality its not the real you! Don't get me wrong, I understand Charm and Personailty can be captivating, my only thought is make sure it's natural, and it flows, then it's easy to maintain because it's the real you.
Is it just me? who see's this happen all the time with many people and friends.....If they had started out with the first meet, being true to who they are and not trying to impress, but rather allow the real them to come out, there is a good chance it really would have been just fine and enough without all the false charm or pretense...Many people don't give them self enough credit, or try to hard to have social graces or be PC...
Don't tell me like this...If you don't mean it like that..That ain't right..
So for those who think or have been told to put your best foot forward, before putting your best foot forward maybe it would be easier on you and them to just put both feet forward, rather then trying to live up to a standard that becomes impossible to maintain in the long run.... just be you... either its enough or its not! No one is going to be everyone's ideal person or match.
I have read many times on the boards or talked with someone on the phone, who said, someone seemed like they were a perfect match via emails IM's and then over the phone, but once they started dating or went out, everything seem to change, and that magic or charm/connection just wasnt their in person? Maybe just maybe its a combination of a couple of things.....Meeting to soon? and or Meeting their agent or represenitive, (the best foot forward) without investing a lil more time to see are they consistant...Most people even the great players (self proclaimed) can't keep up the lie!
Is it just me? or would you rather meet someone for who they are, instead of who they want you to think they are...
Just something to think about?
from the Chronicles of POPO...
Psssssssst, disclaimer....No I'm not talking about any one person, it's just a general observation...
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read more blogs!
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RavinLunatic

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Jun 12 @ 10:16PM
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Oh, no one makes it to a meeting with me until they know all my bad stuff. Funny, one guy asked me if I was trying to run him off. I said, Yep!
I would rather stop the relationship sooner now than later after I got attached. I prefer to be rejected early on. My feelings don't get so hurt then.
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imlost2

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Jun 12 @ 10:44PM
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I'd say have a discussion on politics or religion their worse will come out, if you can tolerate them after that, you will be soul mates lol. Take care Lost
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Bdragon477

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Jun 12 @ 10:45PM
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oh..man...have I been there. Well,i say truly just be yourself...i mean if your a jerk then be a jerk...if your a cutie with a true heart..then be it. I say...getting to know someone truly, is to be with them for more then 7 hours..and then be around them once when they are drunk.
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signme

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Jun 12 @ 11:19PM
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Exactly what happened to me in my last relationship. He was everything he thought I wanted him to be. After a few months, I began to see the real person and it wasn't what I really wanted. Took me several more months to really figure it out though. I'd rather have seen the real person first and not gone through all that.
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oct_cat

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Jun 13 @ 6:53AM
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I like to put both feet backward and give them the worst first, if they're unfazed then it only gets better, (cuz we're both backwards then)! !
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BandTMom

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Jun 13 @ 10:16AM
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I really don't know why people try to pretend to be something they're not.It's kind of like a dual personality thing going on.
I am me and that's who you'll see, like it or not.
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dizzydoll

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Jun 13 @ 12:30PM
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from the Chronicles of POPO... and excellent ones too. but seriously finding the right fit is no easy task, it could take a lifetime to meet him/her.... like 80 for example
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Nightowl001

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Jun 13 @ 5:25PM
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I don't consider putting one's "best foot forward" as not being yourself. You're really talking about another matter entirely. What you describe is when people have such fragile egos that they will do or say anything to "win" in any given situation, whether or not it is right for them or the other person.
To be fair, a lot of people are so driven by competitiveness, they don't even understand they're doing it. They're the ones who believe "Winning isn't everything.. it's the only thing." They go through life with almost every interaction being about "who won." They see someone they "want," and they think it is perfectly all right to "win" that person by being what that person wants, and that once they've won, then they've proved something. (That's where my understanding breaks down, though, as I've no idea what they think they've proven.)
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POPO

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Jun 13 @ 5:47PM
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I don't consider putting one's "best foot forward" as not being yourself. You're really talking about another matter entirely.[quote] No, I wrote the post and know exactly what I'm talking about, you may not understand it, but that's another matter entirely... [quote] What you describe is when people have such fragile egos that they will do or say anything to "win" in any given situation, whether or not it is right for them or the other person. Isn't that exactly what your doing here, working out of your ego? willing to do or say anything to be heard? being the ultracrepidarian... if you came here to flex your arrogance or ignorance, you'll force me to block your antipathy, this isn't the place for it, the political threads are for that sort of animadversion and supercilious imperium.
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