Sooooo..... I got the chance to meet Steven.... posted 6/14/2009 9:29:36 PM | 1 kudo what's this?     report abuse

CrackerJackPat

and it felt like it was “old home week.”

Written upon request... aka... “what's the scoop?” (you people!)

I have blogged on this before quite some time ago. That is.... how we get to feeling like we “know” someone we've shared an internet neighborhood community with for a number of years. It just feels like we've known some of our Internet friends for years. However the truth of the matter is...we really do not and cannot know the other person completely, especially by merely reading what each has to say about themselves. This can only BEGIN to come about by observing ones interactions with others as well.

I only bring this up again as some of my internet friends have questioned where this meeting with Steven might be headed. Just so everyone knows... it's not “heading” anyplace. Steve and I have just been matchdoctor neighbors for quite some time... like a lot of us are matchdoctor neighbors. We stop here and there reading each others blogs like we stop on our sidewalks at home and chat for awhile. We become acquainted, but can't really say we “know” each other.

Forgive me if I gave any other impression than that in my blog when I said we had a date. I honestly thought I was clear that this was a one time deal as Steve was just passing through town. He has a lot of internet friends, as do I, and I certainly do not want to give any false impressions. Most importantly... I do not want to hurt the feelings of some of my guy friends that wanted to make a trip to meet me and I have said “It's too soon.” Or to any of Steve's female friends here... I was not the reason Steve came to CO... he had a load of furniture to deliver.

Since we're on the subject, now seems to be a good time for me to reiterate my thoughts and feelings on internet friendships, dating, and relationships in general. I'm not trying to say I'm right and everyone else is wrong... I'm just saying this is what's right for me. This is who I am.

Generally speaking, I require a LOT of one-to-one email communication long before I would ever even consider a coffee date with someone local. There is a big difference between having a date with someone “passing through” and having a local date that could possibly lead to more dates. I REALLY need to know a LOT about a person before I want to so much as go to coffee with them.

I want to be very clear that this is not something new I've come up with, but something I have blogged on before and have maintained since I first stuck my neck out and nose into an internet site such as matchdoctor.

Having been in this neighborhood for about three years now, it is my humble opinion that many people “jump into” relationships all too quickly and then end up wondering what happened. On the other hand... I have read and learned of some wonderful “success stories” that have happened through matchdoctor that took years in the development. Even before I knew of these success stories, I knew what it would take for me, personally. It would certainly require A LONG TIME!!!!

When I first meet someone through the internet and they want to communicate via private email, the answer is always, “No” I only use the 3rd party email system for a good long while for getting to know someone. This good long while may take close to a year depending on the number of communications exchanged... I assure you it takes at least months of regular communications before I give out my private email address. This could be verified by offering names of individuals you may know... but I won't. Those who know me, know I am very clear about how I conduct my Internet friendships.

My “system” takes time, but it seems to work well for me. I can count on one hand the number of men who have been willing to respect my space and willing to take the time it requires to get to know me. I have only met ONE man who shares my philosophy in what it takes to form a relationship or even a meaningful friendship. I mentioned this man years ago in a blog. He is not a member of the matchdoctor community. I do not mention him often as neither of us consider our “friendship” as being in a “relationship” but I can honestly say he has figuratively been by my side for the last three years day in and day out and I love him dearly. Do I know him? No. (I may feel I do – the truth is I do not and cannot... not for even yet a longer time.) Has this long term friendship of ours involved innocent internet innuendos in our private emails? No... it's part of our respect for each other and has a great deal to do with how well our friendship has developed and how long it has lasted.

“Oh... the tangled web we weave....” literally... on the websites. The term itself should offer a clear indication of its possibilities both in opportunities and entrapments. I, myself, tread lightly. Very lightly and very cautiously. As I told one of my internet acquaintances... I scare very easily.

I have thoroughly enjoyed getting to know people through the internet, but I don't spend as much time doing so as I used to. It's very easy to “get caught up” and get little else accomplished. That.... and... like I said... very few care to take the time to “do it my way.” It seems to me many people using the internet are in such a rush to get where they think they are or hope to be going. For me, the high speed offers a dangerous situation. Kinda like me driving at 50 while everyone else is going at 70 mph. I prefer staying in the slow lane when it comes to relationships as I know if I move into the fast lane I'll get plowed over.

I have “jumped in” far to quickly before and came out severely scarred. I will NEVER again make a quick decision when it comes to entering a relationship either in person or via personal email. I'd like to thank all of my internet friends for taking the time to understand and respect this about me.

Again... it was nice I got to meet Steve, and I wanted to make sure there were no misconceptions among our friends about this “meeting” as well as offer “my take” on internet relationships while I was at it.

I will gladly post any comments anyone wishes to make in this regard providing I personally do not find it offensive. Differences in opinion are not offensive to me although this blog is not meant to be posted as a forum... please feel free to comment.

I thank all of you for reading... and now you may return to your busy lives and as the Mazda songs goes....

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Blogs by CrackerJackPat: Floozies & Hot Mommas (perhaps a difference between the two) I was a bit remiss my friends.... And the Good News Is..... Embarrassing moments....... I'm in the Mood I have thrown all modesty out the window.... Just wondering... Something to Ponder -- Water Into Wine The other day.... a few years ago.... Signs..... signs.... everywhere there's signs...... I'm a Kept Woman... Man's Desire as a Conquerer ... the way I heard it Sooooo..... I got the chance to meet Steven.... On Fears & Doubts... Well my friends.... The cat's out of the bag... Wonders never cease.... Scheduling error... just a note Once again I ask.... My Profound Thought for the Day... Memorial Day Midlife Crisis... It was one of my best days ever – Mother's Day, 2009. How quickly we forget.... Yes.... Happy Easter Everyone!!!!