My ex sent this to me  , he knows i am on this site.
DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN’S DATING PROFILE
40ish……………………………….............. - 49
Adventurous……………………………….. - Slept with everyone
Athletic……………………………….......... - No tits
Average looking …………………………… - Ugly
Beautiful………………………………........ - Pathological liar
Contagious smile.......……………………... - Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure…………………………. - On medication
Feminist ………………………………......... - Fat
Free Spirit………………………………....... - Junkie
Friendship first …………………………….. - Little chance of romance
Fun……………………………….................. - Annoying
New Age……………………………….......... - Forward looking
Open Minded ……………………………….. - Desperate
Outgoing personality ……………………….. - Loud and embarrassing
Passionate ………………………………....... - Sloppy drunk
Professional ……………………………….... - Bitchy
Voluptuous………………………………........ - Very fat
Large frame ………………………………...... - Hugely fat
Wants a soul mate ……………………………- Stalker
WOMEN’S ENGLISH
1. Yes ……………………………….............. = No
2. No ………………………………................ = Yes
3. Maybe ……………………………….......... = No
4. We need ………………………………....... = I want
5. I am sorry ………………………………..... = You’ll be sorry
6. We need to talk …………………………....= You’re in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead…………………………......= You better not
8. Do what you want ……………………….....= You’ll pay for this later
9. I am not upset ……………………………....= Of course I am upset you moron!
10. You’re very attentive tonight …………......= Is sex all you ever think about?
MEN’S ENGLISH
1. I am hungry ……………………………….....= I am hungry
2. I am sleepy ……………………………….....= I am sleepy
3. I am tired……………………………….........= I am tired
4. Nice dress………………………………...... = Nice cleavage
5. I love you ………………………………....... = Lets have sex
6. I am bored ……………………………….......= Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance…………………….....= I’d like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime …………………....= I’d like to have sex with you
9. Want to go to a movie and dinner? ………..= I’d like to have sex with you
10. Those shoes don’t go with that outfit……..= I am gay
And Finally
* A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.
^ For example, when a woman is ovulating she will find a man with rugged, masculine features.
^ However, when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a baseball bat shoved up his anus.
Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)
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read more blogs!
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dizzydoll
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Jun 20 @ 4:56AM
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I am gonna have to have a word with him... its very sexist
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chevymn
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Jun 20 @ 6:07AM
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Oh! I see how it is. Just because I said your shoes didn't go with your outfit you write an entire blog to call me gay. Childish. Other than that the rest is true.
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ragtopcookie
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Jun 20 @ 6:28AM
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Read thru this twice......and i cant argue with any point here......you nailed it.....or should i say.....your ex did.......guess it takes a marriage ......and a divorce to find all this out for the first time.......  ..........cookie
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texasblues
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Jun 20 @ 7:37AM
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So can have a dance with you, call you sometimes, go to a movie or something? And I didn't even notice if you had shoes on I need a pocket size version of this to keep with me at all times 
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ghost42950
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Jun 20 @ 7:38AM
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Seems pretty much on the nose..
Minor addendum could be added..for the MEN’S ENGLISH
5a. I love you …………………………....... = What's for Dinner? 
Thanks for the morning Smile 
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leprichaun_magic
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Jun 20 @ 7:47AM
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ha,, very astute .. ...[agree with ..^ghost ,,on that one too!] 
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dizzydoll
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Jun 20 @ 8:05AM
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btw ladies... next time, before you sign on to MD, click on the little "forgot your password?" button, isnt that the cutest guy?
getting back to Gus's dictionary, he is married he should know.... except Chevy the gay bit i am sure is a joke, as for the rest of it. its just a whole lot of fun.
None of them of true for me
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lovestobake
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Jun 20 @ 9:28AM
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Been driving for 4 hours on a road trip. She, it has been 4 hours, don't you have to pee. = Pull over at the next rest stop, I have to pee.
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POPO
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Jun 20 @ 10:35AM
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Ms.Doll,
This was Hilarious.... Thanx for sharing... 
Although this is done in humor, their is allot of truth in there..
Popo
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stickshiftsally
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Jun 20 @ 11:46AM
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Very funny definitions! I guess I really need to go back and change that adventure word in my profile!!!
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CHARLIgurl1
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Jun 20 @ 12:14PM
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Hilarious my funny doll!
Loved the.. your shoes dont go with that.. = gay.. so funny!!!!
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dizzydoll
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Jun 20 @ 1:01PM
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so its true... men only think of sex.!!
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luneib
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Jun 20 @ 2:13PM
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#5. I love you, lets have sex, typical lol.
I dated a guy once who wore clogs, hmmmm gay? lol.
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ElmerFudd445
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Jun 20 @ 9:50PM
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when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a baseball bat shoved up his anus.
Being the only male that has/is raising 2 daughters (one on own ... sort of), I can truly relate to the last sentence.. I often had seen that exact reflection in the eyes of my daughters..  ...
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butterfly943
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Jun 21 @ 2:07AM
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I loved reading this Ive never seen it before...
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