Anyone who has read much of my blog knows I spend a lot of time worrying about my lack of sexual experience. Nothing has really changed for me in that regard. Despite what everyone on here tells me about it being unimportant, I do feel like I am really missing out on something. Obviously with how saturated our culture is with sex, it seems like it's what a guy my age is supposed to be doing. "Real" men sleep with someone every night. All the cool kids are doing it. From the looks of this website, every high schooler is getting laid on a regular basis, making me look like some kind of pathetic loser.
I think if I were sleeping with more women it would help me feel better about myself. I know I shouldn't have my self-esteem tied into who I sleep with, but I would feel more socially successful if I slept with more women. When I'm hanging out with the guys on the soccer team driving to a game, they often spend a lot of time talking about the crazy parties they went to all the girls they hooked up with. I feel bad that I can't contribute anything to these conversations. I feel like an outsider on a team that I am supposed to be a part of. Likewise, I think if I got to have more sex, I would feel better about the way I look and act. If I'm good looking, and I'm a smart/funny/nice/cool person, girls should want to have sex with me. Since most of them don't (since they're not having sex with me), that must mean I'm not any of those things, right?
Even when I do end up having sex with a girl, I wonder how my lack of experience will effect us. I always am afraid that my lack of experience will lead to a bad performance in bed. Nobody I have slept with has told me that I'm a bad lay, but that still doesn't stop me from worrying. Whenever I'm with a girl who has more experience than me, I feel intimidated. I feel like they are somehow better than me for being more successful in that aspect of their life. Even if I'm not bad, I doubt that I'm good. I want to be good at sex. I actually want to be good at everything I do, and that includes sex. All of the women I have slept with have made me feel great, I want to know that I can make them feel the same way. What if I fall for someone who is more experienced than I am in bed (which seems to be everyone), and she breaks up with me for not being good at sex?
A lot of what I love about sex isn't actually sex, it's just the physical relationship associated with it. There's no better feeling in the world than waking up next to a beautiful girl, especially if it's someone you love. I like having someone to cuddle up next to when I'm falling asleep. I like having someone to hold hands with, someone to kiss. I like knowing that someone cares about me enough to be there.
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read more blogs!
Blogs by soonersoccer:
| The one where I complain about not having enough sex |
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street
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Jun 23 @ 3:15AM
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When all ELSE fails ,,,,,Come w/me to the strip bar , Bring ~ $200 , and it's on like donkey kong !!
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i8yurdog
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Jun 23 @ 5:22AM
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You definitely don't want to buy sex. I think you have the same problem I do. They're called morals. You obviously worry about your looks and personality as we all do, and I think that's a cop-out in an effort to fit in with the braggarts. Have you considered maybe you don't want to be a man-whore?
I have been out with seven women since my divorce, and have only had sex with two. One, because she was young and beautiful and I simply could not resist the opportunity. She claimed me amazing and we went at it a number of times before my guilt caught up to me, as I did not love her, and she deserved more. The other was a drunken mistake the ended up in vandalism and almost required a restraining order to convince her it was over.
I haven't had sex since, although I still date. I'm saying look into yourself, is it your lack of confidence causing your lack of sex? Have had the feeling that sex wasn't quite right because your feelings toward your partner aren't quite what you hoped? Sex is important my friend, but your emotions are more important.
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cricket747
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Jun 23 @ 8:18AM
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Hey! I am glad there are still men out there who don't sleep with just anyone and everyone. Gives me hope of finding someone like that for me.
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Fayvorite
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Jun 23 @ 8:56AM
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There are all kind of books and even therapist (spelled....The Rapist) for sexual whatever the problem is. I'm guessing it is much more common a problem than you realize but not so many open up and confess it.
Each girl is different so no matter what advise is given you, it can't pertain to all girls.
In my opinion you are battling your ego more than anything else and Ego is an awful enemy.
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jentoblues101
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Jun 23 @ 10:01AM
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It'll all fall into place. And those boys who talk about their sexual exploits are just that: boys.
Give it time, be patient with yourself and you will learn how to be a man, not a boy. When that happens the woman you are with will value you all the more.
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Bionic_Angel
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Jun 23 @ 10:10AM
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Sex with someone you don't love is very overrated. It's unlikely the guys you speak of have been in love with many, if any of the girls they've slept with. The party animal brigade just get drunk or stoned and can't even remember who they f***ed ... forgive my language but there's a difference between f***ing and making love ... I'm sure you realise that. It seems these days the girls are as bad as the boys, having joined the f*** 'em and leave 'em brigade ... Let me tell you, if you've had sex a few times I'm sure you know how it goes. That's all the experience you need. When you meet a girl and you both fall in love it will be easy to tell each other what you want ... love overcomes inhibition ... if you're still inhibited, then it isn't love, it's just infatuation. If a girl loves you she'll be patient. She'll find everything you do and say endearing.
I'm thinking if you stopped worrying about it and see yourself for the great guy you actually are then maybe you'll attract some great girls. The best types are those who don't drop their knickers just because a guy's a jock or some kind of mythical stud. Girls with brains are far more attractive, as are guys ... when you 'click' with the right person sex won't be the only thing on your mind, just being together with be amazing. 
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cherishlife7898
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Jun 23 @ 10:53AM
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Well , I do believe great intimacy( true love )comes naturally after great passionate feelings or it'll be just merely animal games . Men and women are equal nowadays .Since men tend to show their charm and power by having sex with more girls ,so do women .However , great difference between these two kinds of intimacy: sex without love is purely like having fast food nothing appealing at all while intimacy with love is fragrant and everlasting which will surely make the two happy one another .
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fervids_ls
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Jun 23 @ 11:02AM
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Well said cherishlife7898...You may try out Free Local Dating..Go around, b friends, then if you come to realize about any sort of feeling (both side) then i think there's a point to get into sex out of love...
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dizzydoll
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Jun 23 @ 3:01PM
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the mind is the biggest sex organ... take your time and change your thinking to benefit
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