Why Do Women Want to Have Affairs With Married Men? posted 6/24/2009 4:31:21 PM | 3 kudos what's this?     report abuse tagged: dating, sex, morals

Etowah

I just don't get it!

Yet another politician has been caught with his pants down, This time it is Governor Sanford of South Carolina - chairman of the Republican Governor's Association. He left for a week over Father's Day Weekend to spend seven days with a senorita in Argentina. His staff told the press that he was meditating on solutions to the economic crisis, while hiking alone on the Appalachian Trail. Yeh-h-h-h-h right. Oh and members of BOTH political parties get caught at it.

We know about Bill Clinton's incredibly stupid stunts in the Oval Room. George Bush the First had a mistress for 21 years until the day before he announced his intent to run for president. A friend of mine was the poor lady's shrink after she tried to kill herself. The noose had pulled the chandelier out of the ceiling before she actually strangled to death. I think she was in a coma for several hours, though.

I saw it when i was an intern for Jimmy Carter. Young women my age were constantly offering themselves to my immediate boss, who was happily married and 32. When I was married and living on a goat dairy farm in the Shenandoah Valley, I lost count of how many beautiful women in their 20s drove out from Washington, ostensibly to buy my goat cheese, but actually, to have a roll in the hay with the goat farmer. They generally brought bottles of chilled wine with them. Foolishly, I stayed loyal to my EX while she was secretly hopping around from motel to motel.

Yet, while single this past decade, no woman has ever come to my door to seduce me. Actually, I have not had a date with anyone from Georgia since December 7 of 2005. A very pretty 32 year old professional writer asked me to meet her for Sunday brunch that day. We talked for seven hours straight at the TGIF restaurant. While kissing good night, she became VERY interested in me - hands on every part of me - especially one. She asked me to go home with her. I told her, that it was not a good idea on the first date. She asked me if I could come eat dinner at her house on Wednesday night. She winked and said that would count as the second date. I said YES! with gusto and anticipation!

The next morning I received a terse email from her . . ."Sorry, I am not attracted to you." I called up to make sure that someone else hadn't sent me that email and confirm that the dinner date. Her only comment was, "Stupid, can't you read?"

Guess her hands were attracted to my leg muscles (and other things not mentioned) but her eyes weren't. After that time, I decided maybe that I should look to another planet for a mate.

So . . . to solve the current lack of architecture work and nurturing from the fairer gender, I am starting a new business! It is Bubba Mountain Lion's Authentic Ole South Creek Indian Great Outdoors Escort Service. I will tell the womenz that I am happily married with three children (actually they are herd dogs!) I will also tell them that I am easy and the first date is OK. Then they will pay me $500 to take them on exotic camping weekends to Creek Indian archaeological sites, surrounded by towering mountains and waterfalls.

I should be smiling on Monday mornings.

PS - In regard to my recent blogs . . . a bunch of my neighbors have been busted. Now everybody covers their faces and runs from me when they see me coming down the road.

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