I have realised something that I have found most interesting in the last couple of days, and being a people watcher of body language and psychology, this latest discovery of human nature has me most intrigued.
I have two what you could call ‘best friends’ back in the UK, one, I have known since she was 10 and I 11, we grew up together in senior school, the other since she was 17 and I 18, I was a manager of a hotel by then, and we met when she came for an interview for a job.
The three of us have had many adventures over the years and I have so many fond memories over the span of over 37 years.
We all attended each other’s weddings, christenings of our children, and have been there to share the tears and pain as well as the joy that best friends often share.
Before I moved to Portugal however in 1999, I was only seeing them maybe once a month, if that sometimes, as our lives became so busy. But we still kept in touch on the phone.
When I moved to Portugal, we kept in touch on the phone and e mails, and at different times they came out to holiday in the sunny Algarve for sun, sea and sangria, and of course to spend good times together.
I suppose on average we were seeing each other twice a year, I would travel back to the UK, and see them as well as their travels to me.
But everyone seemed happy, the twice a year visits either way, with the phone calls and e mails, no-one seemed to worry about distance at all.
But when I contacted them the other day to tell them that I am finally a citizen of the US, it was as tho something strange came over them!
My friend I hired in the hotel all those years ago has begun calling me every day, saying how much she misses me, and asks when can I go back to the UK for a visit?.. the other I have known from school calls as well as e mails every day, and on one occasion became quite upset and emotional.
Have I dropped off of the edge of the earth? Has airlines stopped flying to here and there?
Its strange because when I lived in Portugal for several years, they didn’t seem to mind the distance, the fact that I was in a foreign country wasn’t given a second thought, now all of a sudden it matters.
It seems that it is not the amount of times we see each other, its where we are that appears to make the difference.
When I lived in the UK even, sometimes a couple of months would pass before we saw each other, but I suppose it’s the knowing that I am a few miles away that is the consolation.
And it got me to thinking how much we took each other for granted, how we didn’t give it a second thought that we hadn’t seen each other in a while, but suddenly, when one leaves permanently, people begin to realise what they actually meant to them.
Distance, is all in the mind it seems, if someone lives a few miles away yet one only sees them once in a while, it doesn’t matter, because subconsciously we know we can see them if we really want to….. remove that person to a foreign country, and suddenly not seeing them becomes upsetting.
I love my two dear friends so much, and they will always remain just that, and I am hoping I will be able to go back to the UK to visit them around October time. 
And even when I told them this, they still act like I’ve gone to live on mars!!! 
Checking out my window for aliens!!!
.
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| Distance? Its all in the mind. |
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dizzydoll
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Jun 28 @ 1:44PM
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get a camcorder and tell them to do the same... i think as people get older they become more clutchie. if they can see you online they will feel better, anyway whats wrong with them, why cant they visit you?
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imlost2
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Jun 28 @ 5:52PM
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I have two of my best friends that live several states away. We only get a chance to see each other every once in a while and have been friends for over 25 years now. We went thru this mental withdrawl too when we first had to leave the same city we lived in but eventually we got used to it. You just have to make extra effort to email, send packages for holidays and get together which can be difficult, but more enjoyable when it does happen since you have to relish the time now. Take care Lost
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ttomtarr
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Jun 28 @ 6:52PM
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Perhaps they are worried about you out there in wild Texas.
You could get bitten by a longhorn steer, or get trampled by a stampede of gila monsters. 
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