The date was Tuesday September 6th, 1977...I had just walked into my High School for the very first time. I had just finished off one of my best summer vacations and I was now looking forward to experiencing a whole new school.
When I arrived at my homeroom class and got my schedule...the PA barked to life..”Please send Loren down to the office please!”
OK...to say this came as a total shock is a major understatement...I haven't been in this damn school five minutes, and all of a sudden I'm being carted off to the Principles office. So...off to the pokey I go.
On my way their, I notice my best friend and long time partner in crime Perry, also heading to the office. I said to him...let me guess...you've been called in too? Yeah...Perry said, what the hell did we do? I told him...hell, I don't know...we've only been here a few minutes, what could we have possibly done?
As we entered the office, I told the lady behind the desk who we were and she sternly point to sit in the seats to the left...over by the Assistant Principles office door.
After a few minutes the door opens and out steps Mr Anderson...he stares at the both of us and says...”which one of you is Loren?” I sprung to my feet and said...”That would be me!” I gave Perry a smirk and said to him...”Looks like I'm first up!”.
I entered his office and no sooner had I plopped down into the seat...this idiot starts to read me the riot act! Not only was he reading me the riot act, but he was doing so for stuff I hadn't yet thought of or done. Apparently calling over to the Jr High's was a tactic of his.
This fact of it wasn't a big surprise to me. I got very good grades in school, so, as long as I didn't commit a homicide...I pretty much got away with it from the parental perspective of it! But...what this piece of work was doing was pissing me off to no end. He's got me in this office and he's trying to chastise me for things I haven't even done yet. He was your typical late 20's up an comer...young and trying to make a name for himself within the school district. Sitting me in his office and telling me that he's not going to put up with my bullshit and he's going to stick to me like stink on shit...ISN'T going to go over well with Loren.
I spent the next few weeks gathering Intel on what car he drove, where was his home and so on. I then told Perry that I had an idea about how to get even with this bastard, but, since the both of us at this time couldn't drive yet...we needed his brother Chucks help.
When I explained to the both of them what I wanted to do...they both laughed they're asses off and said lets DO IT!
After getting 75.00 bucks out of the bank, I had Chuck drive me down into the eastern border of our town to Schaefer Ave. I then spent what seemed like hours...approaching every Prostitute I could find that would listed to my proposition I had for her.
This was the hardest part...I must have approached over 30. Damn near got slapped by ten or so, yelled at by at least 15...but damn if I didn't find one that would at least listed to what I had to say. After I explained to her what this asshole did to me and that I wanted her to take a taxi to this assholes house...she said, “Cutie...did this principle do this to you?” I said...”Yes, he sure did!”
She agreed to do it for cab fare and 40 bucks. I told her...just make a public scene with his neighbors like you know him personally. She said...watch from a distance...I'll earn the money!
The three of us laughing our asses off rode back towards his home in Chucks car. We parked and waited down the street for over an hour waiting, at this point I thought, maybe she just took my money and went about her way, but shortly after that...along comes this cab down the block.
It pulls up in front of his home and out steps the hooker from HELL! Hahaha She walks up and knocks on the door...a few seconds go by and then the door opens up. To all of our surprise in the car...a woman answers the door. We couldn't from this distance hear the conversation...but there sure was a public display for everyone to hear. LOL
After a short shouting match between women...the hooker gets back into the cab and drives off. We are all three at this point gasping for air, because we are laughing so damn hard. Well, needless to say...at this point Loren is a happy guy...but, the story doesn't end there. He ends up not returning to school for nearly a week.
For the next few months he walks around the school looking like a child that just lost his puppy! I find out through the teacher grapevine that he was going through a painful divorce. Seems that there had been a history of him cheating on his wife and she gave him an ultimatum...screw up once more and I'm GONE! It didn't take a math professor to realize that this all was caused by me!
I walked around with glee...knowing that I more then likely had a direct impact on destroying this assholes marriage....and I LOVED IT!!
A few weeks later I was held over for a few minutes talking to my math teacher...we only had 5 minutes to get between classes and my next hour was Gym and that was way at the other end of the school.
After I got done talking to the teacher I ran my ass down the hall towards the gym. As I neared the area of the hall where the office was...Mr Anderson happened to be walking out of the door right at that time. He grabbed me by the back of my shirt and neck and began to yell at me for loitering around and screwing off in the halls between classes. It was at this time I snapped...I told this asshole..”Look...I was held up by Mr Keifer...if you've got a problem with that then call him. Don't get pissed off at me because you've been moping around here for months, when its all been YOUR fault for screwing around on your wife with that Hooker that came to your house!”
OK...here is where the explosion happened. He got REALLY red in the face and started to shake. He realized from the statement I just said that I had something to do with it. He clinched the fist of his other hand and reared back as if he was going to hit the hell out of me. Luckily at this point...the real Principle walked out of the office and yelled at him...”Mr Anderson, what the hell is going on?”
He let me go at this point and told me to get to class. I ran off laughing my ass off over what just happened.
Come to find out...that was the last day I ever saw him. He got a transfer to the other High School across town that week at his request!
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