Take your pick--or Take them all 
I was on another dating site a few years ago.. when I started talking to Anthony M. he was everything I thought I wanted in a Man, beautiful, sexy, sweet, loving, intelligent, a very good communicator. He and I loved the same kinds of music, food, kids and had came from a kinda mixed up past. His voice I could have listened to for hours, it was deep yet soft something I dream of hearing again. No Not His  but you know that kind of voice that sends chills up and down your spine   He is Italian  
Anthony has the most beautiful green eyes I have ever seen ( except for my G-Son William's ) When I think of what my type of man would be...well of course I would say Tall Dark and Handsome Anthony was everything except Tall..he was only a little taller then me--but heck I can work with that  He had awesome tan skin, he is a golfer, just a touch of gray at his temples, well dressed, and looked great in jeans, gorgeous lips, sweet smile, he took very good care of his body. Well I thought he did anyway.
It started as Lust. Not a day went by that I didn't crave this Man, his voice, his looks, we talked cam to cam and spoke by phone as much as we could I honestly found it very hard not to think about him so many times he would pop online and just put a song down and say "Lynn tell me what this song tells you..explain in detail how it makes you feel when you hear it". this went on for almost a year, Lust was becoming Love or thoughts of Love is a better way of putting it.
The time came to meet..I was now in SC but that wasn't a problem Anthony was coming here, it was the middle 2003 by then and I was so excited at the thought of finally meeting him. Then the worry set in... will he like me..will I be pretty enough..will my Mom see what I see in him..will my brothers respect the fact i want..need to meet him face to face..touch to touch..I had to!! and I was going to!!
He came after Thanksgiving holidays for 2 days that turned into 4  he rented a room at a nice Hotel away from where we used to live. oops I forgot to tell my brothers what one Mom knew though ..she took a look and said WOW...he is so handsome..Joe thought he was OK Frankie wanted to beat him up and Anthony just said " Hey Frankie can I use the bathroom first it was a long drive"
The misunderstandings came when he knew I had a problem with drug use..oh don't get me wrong this Butterfly has smoked her pot/weed with the best of em..and I liked inhaling but I knew his background and it wasn't pretty. He left New York to find a different life style, escape from drugs..he moved to Orlando FL and went to work inn a Catholic Church..Well Anthony showed up and we went to where he was staying and he took out a water bong and a bunch of weed for 2 days  4 days.
Huh?--That came when we kissed for the first time it just wasn't there  we tried but there wasn't any passion that we felt online, by phone, on cam, through songs . I thought maybe it was because I was so excited and stressed in meeting him and he was tired from his drive so we gave it 2 extra days and still nothing. We spent our time together seeing sites, him smoking weed and me feeling sad and let down but by who? well no one really. No Matter how much you want something it may not be right for either. we stayed in touch for awhile but that slowly faded. The reason I started writing this blog was he is on my yahoo and im not on it much but when I was checking my mail his name popped up...weird
I will always love the songs we shared together..every time I hear one I think of him..I wish him well  A Song for you Anthony
Leather and Lace
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| **Internet-Lust-Love-Misunderstandings-Huh?** |
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sloriver
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Jul 16 @ 11:41PM
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This is a strange medeum we're testing out here. In some ways it's wonderful. You can meet someone from anywhere in the world and get to know them. The problem is, you never know them until you meet face to face. You never know the truth until you can look into their eyes and feel that feeling. Sorry you didn't connect but perhaps it's a good thing. If you had, you might be emotionally bound to someone with a serious drug problem. Dependancy on drugs or alcohol is a deep character flaw. You don't want that heartache. Dreams do die hard, though. Good luck.
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NASSY
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Jul 16 @ 11:54PM
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Hey there Butterfly,
I have been there......that is what is hard about meeting people on the internet. I know, it can work and it is a good thing. It is just not the same as seeing that person eye to eye. Seeing how they walk, how they use there hands when they talk or even how they smell.......lol!! It is about chemistry. I truely believe that we are attracted by so many different things. That is why actually meeting someone seeing them touching them, even kissing them is so important. I was in your situation....a guy I exchanged emails, phone, etc....but once we met in person nothing. He was attractive, he found me attractive....but the same once we kissed it was like he was my best friend. No passion......
So I think that is one of the disadvantages of the internet. It is a bit impersonel.....in that way. Sorry you did not find your love of your life!! Keep looking he is out there. I tell myself that everyday!
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Jacksonboy
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Jul 17 @ 12:00AM
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Four days of smoking weed?? Dang woman in my best or worst days depending on how you look at it I never did that.
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sweetxy
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Jul 17 @ 12:09AM
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Thank you for sharing my friend. 
Something funny that many people would not least expect is in reality things can be worse or better when you meet the person who you were very attached to on internet....the look and also chemistry are just a half,the rest is something we have in common,
I felt one love here but my eyes could not see this love clear enough because it's too dark in my fantasy dream  and he never put me as number one in his friendlist so I assume he just loved me for shorttime and it might be lust through the screen here on Md not love because we never met.
We all have to learn, I met a few great guy in my area,they 're very nice people and they look better in person,,they treated me very nice as thsi thing you can't see online.
But I think if we all open enough I prefer to learn from the worse online to the greater offline ,no misunderstanding.
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Redwicket
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Jul 17 @ 12:47AM
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Really good blog Butterfly
Yesss, know what you mean by the voice... 
Things always happen for a reason, it just wasn't meant to be
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lovestobake
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Jul 17 @ 2:38AM
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You will be hearing from the Italian Deformation League. 
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mystery2u888
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Jul 17 @ 2:40AM
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good blog sweetie
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1frantastic
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Jul 17 @ 3:16AM
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and sometimes when you are with them 24/7....you really really do learn a lot!
and no matter what you and/or others thought when it was "online chat"...until you live with them...ya never know!!!!!......just saying....
when it works...it works...for a little while anyway....till there are...er...interuptions???
misunderstanding of what is suposed to be!
 
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WSOR
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Jul 17 @ 7:59AM
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Good blog. To this day, I worry when I'm about to meet someone, even if it's just on a friendship level. Will they find me attractive, both inside & out? Will we meet each others very basic expectations, etc. My big drawback in the past & even today when I've met someone in person though was where women found me to be too nerdy, or too laid back for their taste... no drugs, no partying, no living on the edge, no driving 15-20 over the limit, & sex being considered a sacred thing. Sucks too, because I really grew to like a lot of the women I met over time.
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dizzydoll
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Jul 17 @ 10:55AM
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some things must just stay a fantasy.... with memories of those moments nothing more and nothing less
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PIXIEFIRE3
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Jul 17 @ 3:20PM
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butter  you have a way with ward's, very good blog. pixiefire3
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CHARLIgurl1
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Jul 17 @ 6:16PM
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I so know what you mean.
I remember when I first met Gregg.. I was so hoping that he was all he was online... the deep American accent voice.. the smile.. the humour..
Well I was lucky,, he was all that and more and still is.
Its all about chemicals they say.
A woman gives off a chemical.. and i cant think what its called right now.. but each womans chemical is different.. and will attract different men.. and same with the guys.. they have thier own attraction scent too!
Put the scents together and you should have a brilliant chemistry!.. if they dont go together.. we dont have the attraction.. someone could have the looks and the charm.. no chemical attraction.. then its wasted.
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