When i clocked out at work yesterday.....i started my vacation.....My mom is on her way up here from my sisters house in louisana......she should be here around noon today.....gonna stay with me and my daughter for a few days into next week.....and i guess i should say.....with my daughters boyfriend....cause hes been staying on our couch for a week now......normally....i would be upset about him being here.....but ive not had to mow my yard for three weeks now.....hes even ran my weedeater for me....and hes finished the yard work ive been tring to do since last spring.....and hes a great guy......just out of work right now.....and as of last week...my daughters out of a job as well.....its a she said they said kind of thing....so she has two more paychecks comming and then shes broke......but she starts back to school next month.....im still getting a support for her from her mom.....it dosnt go far......but it helps.....and she assures me shes gonna have a job by next week......and theres something else going on right now.....i wont let her boyfriend sleep in my daughters room......he sleeps on my couch......oh.....shes tried everything in the book to try and change my mind about this......from it hurts his back.....to he cant sleep well ......to.....we sleep together when we are not here.......so what does it matter......the joke at work now days is....when i leave in the mornings at 5am.....and hes asleep on the couch.....he stays there even knowing that im at work....30 miles away...and they both know im not comming back till ten hours later......but as her father......i feel i need to set some rules around here.....and this brings up another thing.....we had to take her off the birth control shot shes been on since junior high because it was causing all kinds of problems.....and her health was fine.....until she started dating jake last spring.....and i put her back on birth control ...the insert........thru my family doctor....well it broke out her face...and turned her into a raging bitch.....so we had to take her off it and she started taking the pills.....seems she can take them without any major side effects.....so i guess this is just another chapter in being a single parent.....having to do whats right......and setting down rules that she has to live by while shes still under my roof.....where or how this is gonna end up......i have no idea.....i just want her to finish her education and to be able to support herself one day out on her own......what i dont want is for her and jake to move out of here and her quitting school......and maybe having babies they cant afford......but i do know one thing......ive told her that this is it......her ticket for a better life one day......if she throws it all away.....and moves out of here.....shes gonna have to find some way to support herself......shes almost 20 now.....and jake will be 22 next month.....and hes looking for a job now.......and im ok with letting the chips fall where they will.....cant really stop whatever is gonna happen.....so why worry.......guess its because im her father......and i love her......cookie
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ElmerFudd445
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Jul 17 @ 8:29AM
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You are more brave than I am.  .. I went through the same stuff with my daughter.. though they did it a bit younger... right out of high school..I got the "I'm 18 now, I should be allowed to let him sleep with me". When I asked for rent she shut up. I have rules too.. Mine got married too early and went out to do everything on her own.. Well... two years later they are divorced and she is living here (most nights)..
Yep.. your are a Father.. it's hard not to worry. . I let her consequences fall where they may and I don't help her out of her problems.. I give suggestions, but that's where it ends (I still offer to help her with school if she chooses to do so).. It's one of the most difficult things I do being her Dad.. You hate to see them fail at things but in the end, it's for there own good. Like you, I love her to death.
A positive post my friend..  Great read to start the day!
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sweetxy
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Jul 17 @ 9:16AM
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cant really stop whatever is gonna happen.....so why worry.......guess its because im her father......and i love her......cookie That's good for you cookie  , here I do the same too ,I have a girl 21 and my boy is 22,new resident here, I trust the girl and my boy too,
I won't worry about this even when I'm at work.,,as long as they respect me and respect each other they should not give any worry to a parent like me
Enjoy your vacation with your mom 
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Tiramisu4u
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Jul 17 @ 10:11AM
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I love to see a parent set boundaries, with love and respect and compromise.
Yes, you cannot control the future entirely, but the standards you set for her will be passed down to the g-children and hopefully continue after you are gone.
The decisions they make will not always be what you wish for them, but you will be able to look back and say *DAMN! I done GOOOD!!*
Have a wonderful vacation, Cookie...maybe a family BBQ with Dad there too is in the offing. 
Enjoy evey moment you can with each...time goes by so fast, my friend. 
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RainSongSpirit
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Jul 17 @ 12:26PM
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I have so been where you are....its awkward but you are right!
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CHARLIgurl1
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Jul 17 @ 12:54PM
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I so sympathise with you cookie monster, Ive been there done that, and it isnt easy.
Our kids seem to take guidance sometimes as criticism and tend to rebel, its like walking on glass with them.
What she needs to know is that as her dad youre there for her, but if she makes bad decisions, its her that faces the music, you cant always pick up all the pieces all the time, or they never learn from their mistakes. Of course ideally we dont want them to make mistakes in the first place, but they're kids, all beit in their early twenties.. so they will anyway.. par for the course as it were.
Youre a good dad cookie, and I know that you'll always be that way, but you also have to be Dad with strict rules too as well as the dad thats there for them.
Be straight and be clear in what you expect from her right from the get go, so theres never any misunderstandings.
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jayej
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Jul 17 @ 2:06PM
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The bounderies are a good thing.
Just thought I would stick in a quick note about the birth control thing. My daughter ended up with an IUD for several years, it worked well, she had reactions to the shot and the pill as well. She also got cramps from hell that kept her out of school for at least three days a month.
She was alot easier to live with.
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summerbreeze916
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Jul 21 @ 10:14AM
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You are such a good dad, cookie. No matter how old they get......or what they end up doing......they'll always be our babies. 
Enjoy your vacation!  
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