Up until five days ago my nine year old boy was a running, jumping, always active motor-mouth. He was also my biggest fan, hanging on me like an ornament on a Christmas tree. All of my kids are like that. We have a great, loving relationship even though I am strict with high moral standards.
Since they were homeschooled and I am the stay at home parent my kids are at home and without company their own age. My wife has a friend/co-worker who runs a camp for kids. It's a horse-riding kind of country camp. My wife had asked about sending our kids to her camp. Various groups go there through the summer. This friend said the kids could come last week. There were openings and they could be part of a group that was coming.
I did not know until I arrived that the group was from a Cowboy church. I considered not leaving the kids but went ahead so as not to offend my wife's friend or cause problems with their friendship. I would not have if I'd known what would happen. I should have known.
I am not Christian, I am Buddhist. My wife is Christian. We both believe in freedom to choose. I do not have a problem with people who follow the Christian religion. I have a big problem with Christian bigotry, aggressive evangelism and hypocritical lifestyles. My son experienced all of the above.
My little motor-mouth was quiet and reserved from the minute my wife picked him up on Saturday. He was distant all day. I thought Saturday it was just because he was tired. He looked pie-eyed. On Sunday, though, after a good night's sleep he was even more reserved. he was not himself.
He went on all day, keeping his distance. He treated me different. I was working on a project and he did not want to help. And he was not talking!
Last night I sat him down to get at the problem. I found out part of it. The rest he would not say. The camp wasn't as fun as he said.
He told them I was a Buddhist. Rather than respecting that the leaders said unkind things about non-Christians. I'm not sure what all they said but I know they told him he should not believe anything non-Christians said. Thus these men told my boy not to believe me. I suspect they said worse things but he would not tell me what. (It's the way Christians around here think. My mother in law once asked my wife why she "let" me worship a "false god"!)
My boy suffered from a barrage of preaching. This I expected. He was pressured to "accept Jesus." I think he was led through the "sinners prayer" too, though he didn't say that exactly. Basically they manipulated him and got him totally confused.
Then there was the way the boys acted themselves, especially after he told them something else unusual about how we believe. We do not celebrate Halloween. Halloween is a horrible and evil celebration. It promotes the worst kind of attitudes. It is not an "innocent" holiday. Having worked for a Christian counselor friend once who specialized in satanic ritual abuse I know what goes on that day. So we don't celebrate it. For some reason the day came up, my son said we don't celebrate it, and from then on the kids gave him "holy hell," literally. He said they pushed him around, called him stupid, and made fun of him. The adults apparently did nothing. He said they didn't know about it. If not they were not supervising as they should have been.
What else happened those few days he was with that bunch of redneck Christians I can only guess. I should not have left him. I blame myself for putting him in this situation. I was wrong. I was trying to be flexible with my wife's religious beliefs. I shall not be so flexible this morning. I have enough problems dealing with public school Christianity and stupid attitudes. We're sending them back this year since they need some time with other kids but I dread the letters about Halloween and the very Christian attitudes of schools that are not supposed to promote religion in classrooms.
My boy is better this morning. It will take a while for him to get over this. I will never let these kids go back to a camp there.
I struggle with my own kind of bigotry sometimes. It's hard not to dislike people who practice the peculiar kind of redneck Christian lunacy so common in these East Texas backwoods. I admire true Christians who follow their Christ. After all, what he taught and what Buddha taught are very similar, almost identical. But folks like those my kids were stuck with ignore the teaching of Jesus. My parental instinct is to call those people up and tell them what I think. It would, however, be a waste of time and it would not be consistent with what I believe. These people are ignorant. They are deliberately ignorant because they judge first and ask questions later if at all. I feel sorry for them.
The moral of this little story, if there is one, is that Christianity might offer the greatest chance of rising above cruelty, inhumanity, bigotry, hatred and selfishness. But in the real world it does not work that way but completely the opposite.
Why is that?
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RightWingRepublican
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Aug 10 @ 9:45AM
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I have respected you since the first intelligent blog i read of yours. You're one of the few people who i respect even if you disagree with me.
But the constant targeting of my religion doesn't seem too "peace loving".
Moving on,
Anytime a children is somewhere they are not familiar with, it's going to effect them.
On the other hand. If those "Christians" told him negative things about his own father, of course that's not right.
I understand that your wife is Christian. But does she have a hard time figuring out good from bad Christians? I hope she can see them and keeps your children away from them.
Sorry, but radical Christians are scary people. I choose to not associate with them.
NO Christian should be mentally harming a innocent child. That pisses me off.
I would love to hear you raising your kids Christian, but the fact is, you are obviously teaching them to be good, caring, sensitive and wonderful human beings and that is good enough for me.
I hope your son can look past any evil he experienced and paves his way to the religion of his choice.
As his Father, please remind him that we are good people. That not all of us act that way.
And the words Redneck and Christian need to stop being used negatively.
I'm a Christian and certainly not a Redneck.
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burnslikethesun
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Aug 10 @ 10:12AM
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A bad carpenter, using the best tools, is still a bad carpenter.
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dharmaseeker
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Aug 10 @ 10:57AM
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I probably fuss too much about Christians but it's a particular group that use the name but do not follow the beliefs that drive me up the wall. I've known a few good Christians and I do tell my children there are those. I tell my children their faith is their choice and I will explain the belief of Christianity or Buddhism, either way, for them.
The "redneck" part one mostly has to live in the rural south to understand. It's bad around here. It's worse further out in the woods and further east and north into Louisiana and Arkansas. I'm less than a hundred miles from Jasper where those boys drug the black man to death behind a truck. THIS is the kind of "Christian" I have a problem with.
I confess to being as evangelical and even oppressive as those men were with my kid though I don't think I would have run down a kid's parent. The idea that Jesus came to the whole world has been translated into the idea that Christians should Christianize the world no matter what. It led to murder of Native Americans by the Spanish, religious oppression all over the place, and is the same kind of zealous bigotry that keeps me all alone in this house.
I have been castigated in the local paper, spoken of far, far worse than I ever spoke about Christians, by people who regularly attend church and call themselves Christians. Some members of my own family, avid Christian right wingers, despise me simply because I am not Christian. I never felt that way to non-Christians, I just worried about their souls. Now I worry about my kids' sanity sometimes.
Anyway, didn't want to rant. I do tell my kids there are some people who follow Jesus. I encourage them to follow the teachings of both Jesus and Buddha, which are the same. It's up to them to decide which religion to follow.
I will add, though, that my struggle to be compassionate has a lot to do with the fact that I have been betrayed by people in church I trusted several times over when I was more zealous and working to "win the lost" or later rescue kids from abuse as they sat on their rear singing hymns and doing nothing. This doesn't justify my animosity, I must continue to over come that, but it explains it.
Christians who live their faith should not be offended anyway for they will forgive absolutely and without hesitation. That is the nature of what Jesus taught as it is what Budddha taught.
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ttomtarr
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Aug 10 @ 12:57PM
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This blog will await approval.
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Snappygoddess
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Aug 10 @ 1:47PM
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Christians who live their faith should not be offended anyway for they will forgive absolutely and without hesitation. That is the nature of what Jesus taught as it is what Budddha taught.
And I agree. I consider myself a spiritual person. I was raised in a "Christian" home if that's what you want to call it. I grew up around a hypocritical environment both in church and out. As an adult I have chosen not to go to church for the past 15-20 yrs because I don't believe the same as they do and I have always questioned things I didn't understand and most of the time that was not well received by a Christian church.
I do pray, I do talk with God and I do try to live a good life and treat others with respect and love(some make it so hard though  ) but I don't believe you have to gather in a building among others to have a relationship with the God of your choosing.
There are some good, genuine Christians and I admire and respect them but they don't push their faith or beliefs off on others, especially not children.
I'm sorry your children were subjected to the sort of treatment and the really sad part of all of that is that those people honestly believe in what they are saying and doing. Most of them are brought up that way and therefore think it's "the" way to live.
Thanks for sharing your experience with us.. very nicely written blog 
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Josuha
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Aug 10 @ 2:23PM
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Different Christian groups have sometimes different beliefs.
Just respect that and move on.
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dharmaseeker
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Aug 10 @ 3:02PM
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It's a free country and I respect anyone's beliefs as long as their beliefs do not cause harm to others. I do not respect efforts to force a religion upon those that don't want it, aggressive and insulting evangelism, or manipulating children with threats, fear, or promises.
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SpiritOrnery
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Aug 10 @ 4:57PM
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But folks like those my kids were stuck with ignore the teaching of Jesus. My parental instinct is to call those people up and tell them what I think. It would, however, be a waste of time and it would not be consistent with what I believe
You are so right. If they were not respectful in the first place...it is highly doubtful you can awaken their respect.
A bad carpenter, using the best tools, is still a bad carpenter.
I might add... a bad anything...
The moral of this little story, if there is one, is that Christianity might offer the greatest chance of rising above cruelty, inhumanity, bigotry, hatred and selfishness. But in the real world it does not work that way but completely the opposite.
Why is that?
but it's a particular group that use the name but do not follow the beliefs that drive me up the wall.
I have been castigated in the local paper, spoken of far, far worse than I ever spoke about Christians, by people who regularly attend church and call themselves Christians. Some members of my own family, avid Christian right wingers, despise me simply because I am not Christian.
Law of Attraction? Maybe you need to see when and where it originally started in this life or past life and who started it to get at peace so you no longer draw that to you. Especially now that your child is involved. Do it for him if not for you. When you are at peace completely, the triggers will go away...usually. If not, then maybe he has some past life triggers that are holding it in place.
If that IS the case, no wonder you resisted your better instincts and left him there.
Christians who live their faith should not be offended anyway for they will forgive absolutely and without hesitation. That is the nature of what Jesus taught as it is what Budddha taught.
True, that!
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ttomtarr
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Aug 10 @ 5:12PM
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I'd say those idiots at the camp hung out in churches, just like Jesse James hung out in banks.
But I wouldn't call them Christians any more than I'd call Jesse a banker.
I guess this comment is approvaal.
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BandTMom
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Aug 10 @ 8:04PM
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I am so sorry this happened to your son. This is why I don't send my boy to church even though I think it's important for him to learn about all "religions". If there were a Unitarian Church or a free-thinking Christian Church in my area, we would be there, but living in the Buckle on the Bible Belt, it's a difficult task.
I remember the day my son came home asking about "the devil" and "hell". I do admit to getting angry about someone filling my baby's head with fears.
It's a free country and I respect anyone's beliefs as long as their beliefs do not cause harm to others. I do not respect efforts to force a religion upon those that don't want it, aggressive and insulting evangelism, or manipulating children with threats, fear, or promises.
I totally agree. 
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hpylady_
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Aug 10 @ 8:59PM
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I can understand you being upset after all it's your child but this world is full of things that our children see and hear that we wish they hadn't had to experience. You did the right thing by talking to him .. in the years to come you will have to step back and let your children choose .. that is hard for parents to do .. I remember .. mine are now 38 and 40 ... and I see now the things that was taught at home they are now teaching their children... so I guess they didn't forget.
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Josuha
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Aug 10 @ 10:00PM
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I do not respect efforts to force a religion upon those that don't want it, aggressive and insulting evangelism, or manipulating children with threats, fear, or promises.
People have the right to raise their children as they believe.
You have the right to leave their house if you don't agree and it offends you.
Welcome to America.
By the way, I'm a 'Redneck'..have you considered they are just as offended by you?
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dharmaseeker
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Aug 10 @ 10:21PM
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As I said, it's when they invade my space and violate my children that I loose respect. What people do in their own homes is not my concern.
I have no doubt the rednecks around here not only are offended by me but think I'm crazy and bound for hell.
Perhaps you should define what a "redneck" is. The southern kind are quite unique, bigoted, prejudice, and quite cruel on occasion. This was the kind of people at that camp. If I had any clue about who would be there I would not have left them but my wife was misinformed.
Anyone who is offended by someone who is not prejudice, believes in peace, prefers not to preach at or be preached to I suppose will just have to be offended.
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Josuha
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Aug 11 @ 1:02AM
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Anyone who is offended by someone who is not prejudice, believes in peace,
And may I say, your doing an excellent job..
Keep up the good work.
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musicianfriend
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Aug 11 @ 4:15AM
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I have been castigated in the local paper, spoken of far, far worse than I ever spoke about Christians, by people who regularly attend church and call themselves Christians. Some members of my own family, avid Christian right wingers, despise me simply because I am not Christian. I never felt that way to non-Christians, I just worried about their souls. Now I worry about my kids' sanity sometimes
I have suffered through a few of your Christian Bashing posts...never taking the time to bash back...but here goes..
First of all..perhaps you deserved your castigation..you say very rude things about the Christians...
I find it funny how of ALL THE DIFFERENT religions...its ALWAYS Christianity that you people bitch about...
What about those who cut off peoples heads? Perhaps you could share with us your views on that religion..
Or perhaps even your own Buddism...Some of the most rude people I have met on these threads were Buddhist...Rude..condesending...with an attitude as well...I dont get along with them..They start it by attacking me first..
If you read through these threads..I NEVER attack anyones religion...except once when I spoke of the people who cut other peoples heads off...
Your rude...sorry..but you are..and you are bigotted and intollerant of my religion
Since you are Buddhist...please tell me this..on what do you base your religion? How do you even know its true? Is there a book filled with predictions of things that will happen in the future? Like mine is? Perhaps your rudeness came out of your childrens mouths and those people at camp felt sorry for them..
You say you dont like others teaching your kids...
Then stay out of the public schools as they will teach your child about condoms...bananas...birth control..abortion...homosexuality...Things you dont teach at home..I presume...
Did you perhaps receive your Karma? Your say rude thingsabout others ...so someone said something you deem rude to your child...Tit for tat...Karma...Who knows...
But I never talk crap on your religion...I dont agree with you one bit..I see no proof that your religion is 'real'...Its just a man made belief..and thats just fine...I dont care who or what you worship...
Sorry to chew you out..but I had to put up with you bigotry earlier today..and frrankly..Im tired of your condensending attitude...It seems to be a habit of the Buddhists..holier than thou attitudes....in my experience, thats how buddhists are....
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musicianfriend
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Aug 11 @ 4:23AM
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Perhaps you should define what a "redneck" is. The southern kind are quite unique, bigoted, prejudice, and quite cruel on occasion. This was the kind of people at that camp. If I had any clue about who would be there I would not have left them but my wife was misinformed.
I am a Redneck Woman....I am a country woman..I love my country and I love God...
I too am from the south...yes..a southern gal...born there..lived there...bulk of my family lives in the deep south..
These people are good people..kind and friendly...will do anything for you ...
Oh yea...one more thing....
I also attend Cowboy Church at the Rodeo grounds on Sunday under the big oak tree eating blueberry pancakes and drinking coffee while I listen to my most wonderful Pastor...A cowboy...a rancher...a preacher..
I like rednecks...Perhaps if you can let down your preducice..and the high and mighty attitude that buddhist seem to possess..you just might enjoy these Redneck Christians...
Redneck....defined......country folks....good folks....folks who have a sense of community...people who feel all human life is viable...no matter if it is inconveinant..
No human is perfect...all fail at times..both Christians and Buddhists..None of us are perfect...we must be tolerant and forgiving..
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southernlass
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Aug 11 @ 7:07AM
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I doubt my comment will show up. (lol) but if it does, good on you.
No offense, friend, but you're doing your own share of "preaching" right here in this blog. Of course, it's your blog and you're entitled to express your thoughts; that's what blogging is all about, but I point this out to say that those who are non religious or something beside Christian preach their own messages just as loudly. They just don't appear to realize that they do, and some of their messages are extremely offensive.
Christians are not all cut from the same cloth and some who think they know all Christians don't; some are more bigoted than the most redneck of Christians without even being from the bible belt. It's all in one's perception. Few are actually objective enough to really see the truth.
Like attracts like and like sides with like, based upon what I've seen on this forum.
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dharmaseeker
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Aug 11 @ 9:19AM
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For the record, I only have the blog set to approve to keep it from being spammed.
You folks' responses are perfectly typical. I have not "bashed Christianity." I haven't "bashed Christians" either. What I have spoken about are people who claim to follow a Christ whom they call the Prince of Peace, who taught the finest lessons on love and forgiveness, whose Sermon on the Mount is the most beautiful words ever spoken, but who do not in any way live them, or even try to.
On here just as it is in the media, letters to papers, spoken on the radio, Christians I speak about get offended, hateful, angry and rude rather than exemplifying the lifestyle of their Christ. If you want to say I'm rude for speaking the truth about the way people act go right ahead. I will not sit quietly and not speak against bigotry, hatred, prejudice, etc., just because the truth hurts someone's feelings.
If I have spoken rudely please provide an example. I have not been rude, I have been honest. There is a difference. As I said before, any Christian living according to the teaching of Christ has my absolute admiration. I have met very few of them. When I was a Christian I did not either and I have apologized and repented for that.
There are others who have spoken nasty things about Christianity. A few of them posted on this thread. I am frustrated with their attitudes as well. I do not at all believe in the Christian faith, I am agnostic, but I admire the teaching of Christ and I believe he was a historical figure. It's the best I can do.
I heard once that a person's freedom of religion should end at the next guy's nose. I would add that it should end at the next guy's ears, too. I have not "preached" Buddhism, merely said I am one. I have not spoken against Christianity, merely against bigotry and hypocrisy. There are certainly many people who claim Buddhism, especially in this country, who do not know what it really is. I've run across them too.
I have nothing but admiration for true cowboys. There are a lot of good cowboys and cowgirls around her (cowfolk? hmm). The owners of that ranch camp are good people. They are cowboys. If I had not thought so I would never have left my kids. It's not my lifestyle but not a lifestyle I do not appreciate.
Perhaps it is the peculiar kind of folk who live in this community and are not so prevalent in the south as I believe but in this part of Texas I have described rednecks--not cowboys or country folk (of which I am the latter)--appropriately. As you see I do not call country folks rednecks. Rednecks, the type who live in this area, are defined by their prejudices and backwards attitudes. If country folks are rednecks then I am one. I live in a mobile home in the back woods with a momma dog and an old cat and we're even considering getting a few horses. I like Rodeo, too. There may be a better term than redneck but I don't know what it is. What should I say, hillbillies? But I would offend Arkansawyers. Redneck is a stereotypical name that in the general population describes the kind of people I speak of.
It is not the people, either, it is their attitudes. I feel sorry for folks who cannot see past prejudices and bigotry and see the value of all human beings. They miss out on a lot of wonderful things. It is their attitudes, not them, I cannot "cotton to" as my mom would say. They, however, would just as much want me shot or drug behind a pickup, maybe, because I do not believe as they do or because I love people they feel superior to. I do not understand prejudice. Can someone explain it to me?
I don't mind a chewing out. Won't be the first or the last. Rather than ramble on here I think I will crank up another blog with a few thoughts.
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KathyPa1951
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Aug 11 @ 10:21AM
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From what I have read you have a deep rooted dislike for Christians otherwise you would do as many blogs lifting up some Christians as you do with long text of bashing them. Take a good look in the mirror.
Kathy
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dharmaseeker
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Aug 11 @ 10:43AM
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No ma'am, I have a deep rooted dislike for hypocrisy and bigotry. Christians take offense and say such things as you do because they--perhaps you?--have not actually considered what was written but make assumptions. I have no quarrel with Christians who live their faith.
It is not for me to "lift up Christians" because I am not one, I am merely pointing out how folks on the outside often feel when confronted by aggressive "Christian" attitudes. I use quotes because the attitudes are not truly Christian.
Perhaps someone who has accused me of "bashing" can "lift up Christians" and explain the beauty and magnificence of the teaching of Christ and what he taught? Prove me wrong and I shall be forever grateful.
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musicianfriend
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Aug 12 @ 1:44PM
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[dharma]I did not know until I arrived that the group was from a Cowboy church. I considered not leaving the kids but went ahead so as not to offend my wife's friend or cause problems with their friendship. I would not have if I'd known what would happen. I should have known.
[dharma]I have nothing but admiration for true cowboys. There are a lot of good cowboys and cowgirls around her (cowfolk? hmm). The owners of that ranch camp are good people. They are cowboys. If I had not thought so I would never have left my kids. It's not my lifestyle but not a lifestyle I do not appreciate.
Your are conradicting your self here..First you considered NOT leaving them because it was a Cowboy Church...Then..you say you admire them...
So...which is it? I would assume that because you left your children there..you knew they would be safe..and well cared for...because these folks are good people...right?
If I have spoken rudely please provide an example. I have not been rude, I have been honest. There is a difference. As I said before, any Christian living according to the teaching of Christ has my absolute admiration. I have met very few of them. When I was a Christian I did not either and I have apologized and repented for that.
Well, Republican mentioned and and so have I...There must be some reason we are offended..
Perhaps you dont know how you are coming off to others...perhaps an innocent mistake..but I dont think so...Most of what you write slams Christians..then you play innocent hiding behind remarks of being misunderstood....
I heard once that a person's freedom of religion should end at the next guy's nose. I would add that it should end at the next guy's ears, too. I have not "preached" Buddhism, merely said I am one.
Of course you have..you have led others to believe that the Christians are bad..and Buddhists good...Do you not see what you are doing here?
I have not spoken against Christianity, merely against bigotry and hypocrisy. There are certainly many people who claim Buddhism, especially in this country, who do not know what it really is. I've run across them too.
My boy suffered from a barrage of preaching. This I expected. He was pressured to "accept Jesus." I think he was led through the "sinners prayer" too, though he didn't say that exactly. Basically they manipulated him and got him totally confused.
Whata crock....Christians dont force anyone to do anything...Its all of free will..You are trying to use your words to form a negetive opinion of these nice folks...after all..if they were so bad..you would not have left your children there..
Now heres the BIG QUESTION....I am Christian..I would have NEVER left my young children in a Buddhist camp...So..why did you leave yours in a Christian Camp? You mentioned yourself that the group was from Cowboy Church...Church being the Big word here?
What did you expect was going to be talked about there? .
[dharma]I struggle with my own kind of bigotry sometimes. It's hard not to dislike people who practice the peculiar kind of redneck Christian lunacy so common in these East Texas backwoods
Wow..heres a pretty good example, and example YOU asked for where you are calling people lunatics because they dont believe like you?
I think you have a real problem looking into your own backyard...sir..
If you dont want you children to learn about Jesus..then dont sent them to a camp where Jesus is going to be talked about...
Pretty simple..
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