Stages of the veil posted 8/12/2009 1:14:20 PM | 8 kudos what's this?     report abuse tagged: islam, veil, me

CHARLIgurl1

I haven’t spoken much about my relationship with an Egyptian man I had a few years ago, but I have been asked a few times about it, and for some reason today I thought is a good day to vent and let it all out to you my bloggy friends.

I will call him Alan for the purpose of this blog, as to use his real name I feel would be disrespectful.

When I first met Alan, he was the most charming and gentile man I had ever met. His manners were impeccable, thoughtful, and a complete romantic.
I fell for him as I did with Egypt itself.

Cairo is one of the most wonderful places I’d ever been to, every café and restaurant is covered with beautiful Islamic art, tiling and sculptures stood majestically holding torch lighting.
The streets bustled, donkeys pulling carts trotted among the busy traffic, old taxis battered and dented weaved through the swarm of commuters, honking of horns and people shouting didn’t make it noisy, it made it alive.

The Egyptian people themselves are truly lovely, they have a genuine warmth and compassion and hold family values extremely high.

I was honest from the beginning when I told Alan that I was a Christian and had no intention of converting to Islam.
He told me that it didn’t matter, and that many Muslim Egyptians had Christian partners and it worked well.
Happy with this, I stayed in Cairo with him for a few months.

Of course I knew I had to also respect their religion and their laws, so wore my clothes modestly.

Alan’s family were as charming as he, his sister could not speak a word of English, but we some how communicated and got on well. His sister in law could speak English, amazingly well however, and we often chatted on the phone as well as going shopping together. The malls were as beautifully decorated as the cafes and I really enjoyed browsing the shops for the highly decorated and very pretty clothes and jewelry.

I loved wearing the beautifully embroidered and stone studded dresses, so feminine, but I didn’t wear a veil… well.. not at first.

Then one day Alan suggested that I wore a veil, as I looked out of place, I thought he had a point, as everyone did stare when I walked through the streets with an Islamic dress but no veil. I decided I would wear it like the reporters do, loosely.

This worked for a while.. but then he said it was showing too much hair. His sister in law showed me how to wear the veil properly, I did, but still had some hair showing, I suppose that was me being a bit stubborn,

Then one day he took me shopping to a ladies Islamic clothing store, he said something to the shop keeper, but of course I didn’t understand. The lady helped me pick out dresses with matching veils, she even came in the dressing room and showed me how to pin the veil.. ‘just right’. It meant not being able to wear my earrings that I loved so much.

My parents wanted a holiday and had never been to Egypt, so we arranged for them to stay in an apartment just yards from Alan’s home.
My mother was quite shocked when she saw me.. and I think dad was a tiny bit mad, although he didn’t say.

We had a wonderful time, .. the Sphinx, the pyramids.. even a boat ride along the Nile.. my mother said she could see why I had fallen for the place.

When they left, and it was back to just Alan and me, I could see a change in him, but couldn’t place what it was.

Then he said it. The thing he said he never would.

“I want you to convert to Islam.”

I was numb, and to be honest didn’t know how to react, but instead of saying a blatant NO, I said I would at least read some of the Koran. He had an English version which had belonged to his American ex wife.

To me this was a slippery slide, before long I knew that I was going to lose everything about me that made me.. me.

My clothes.. my jewelry, and now my religion?

The strain was too much, I left with a promise that I would return, but on reaching English soil and being me again, I knew I couldn’t go back.

He had told me in the beginning that I could always be me.. that I didn’t have to wear a veil or even convert.. and I don’t think he lied.. I think he just changed his mind and preferred me to.. but of course.. I couldn’t.

I met Gregg online a few weeks later, and met a year later in person in 2007 and I haven’t looked back.

I am deeply happy with my life, my husband who I adore with every part of my body and soul, and he lets me be me.

He accepts my love of animals, my love for my friends and family, my passion for health food and my love of dressing up when we go out even though everyone else is casual, but that’s me…




And being me is the only thing I could ever be.



>>The stages of the veil<<<

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Blogs by CHARLIgurl1: That day. Pass the salt! Dreams/predictions It just makes me sick! Do you? Have you ever.... Willing to relocate for love? Hell in Cairo Isolated in Cairo 'Obedient' in Cairo Home alone in Cairo Invisible in Cairo Stages of the veil There are none so deaf..... Who stole my ideas? One of those weird weekends Personal hygiene. You don't see The most wonderful compliment........ To give and not receive Your best friend. Let sleeping dogs lie. Vincent and Charles Chevalier My diet.. I cant help myself!