Selfish - do you get pictures of your mother scolding you when you were young and didn't want to share something special to you?
Or of "friends" or acquaintances making that accusation because you would not do something they expected or wanted you to do?
I have learned that selfishness is a really good thing - if one takes the word literally as to mean looking after oneself. If I do not look after myself and my own needs, I simply cannot be of any positive use to anyone else.
If you give up your own needs to do what others "expect" or want - it is not done out of love, kindness or sharing. It's done out of duty and martyrdom. It creates resentment within oneself. It denies yourself your own worthiness, wants and your own needs.
And I found that carrying resentment within yourself was like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
I have learned that when I look after myself and my own needs, resting when I need to rest, painting when the creative bug bites, being alone when I need alone time, that I am far happier and capable of giving to others freely, willingly and with enjoyment.
Creating happiness within oneself radiates outward and creates happy friendships and a happy environment. And I'm ALL for that!
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