To Pee or not to Pee....that is the question! posted 9/3/2009 11:06:59 PM | 1 kudo what's this?     report abuse

Loren62

So...I'm shopping in the local Walmart a few weeks back and all of a sudden I feel this urge to drain the lizard. I walk towards the front of the store where the men's restroom is and notice it is closed for remodeling. I ask the nearest associate where the other restroom is and I'm pointed to the back of the store.

I make that long boring walk down the center isle to the restroom and walk in. I approach the urinal and begin to unzip Willy from his storage location. I make the customary and typical quick glance down to see if I'm lucky enough to maybe have a cigarette butt or wad of gum to take target practice at while I'm doing the deed.

No such luck...Oh well, time to release the flood gates and get the party started. As the flow starts, and, I'm sure most men reading this can attest...once in a great while...you get a double two direction stream. Normally, this isn't an issue...you just either shut the faucet down and give it a few quick shakes, or you stand close enough to make sure its all going where you want it to go.

Well, to my HORROR! I glance down and see my left shooting piss stream angled left and onto the floor in the direction of this REALLY BIG RIGHT FOOT!

I hear this grunt and glance over and see what appears to be the biggest Samoan dude I've ever seen in my life. This guy was at least 450 pounds if he was a pound. He is so BIG that he needed to stand at the urinal next to me with his feet apart so he wouldn't fall over. This was a major problem...since doing that put his foot under the divider and on MY SIDE!!

Making matters worse...he's wearing flip flops and his toes are inches from getting a warm wet bath.

At this point...I'm thinking I'm dead! Its been a decent life...hope there won't be too much pain involved....I apologize and say..."Sorry, Willy decided all of a sudden to put out an east AND west stream....couldn't have happened at a worse time too!"

To my surprise...this guy starts to crack up and laugh his ass off. Says he hates when that happens also. Lucky for me he had a sense of humor about it.

Word of advise...if you think there is at least a small chance the hose isn't gonna function as designed beforehand....you might want to check for the feet down below!

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Blogs by Loren62: Skank Effect and Carlin Quotes! To Pee or not to Pee....that is the question! The Teacher Part 2 The Teacher Saturday Night Fever. Pompous ASS! Obama Voters and the Ipecac cure! Global Warming Zealots! The Medal of Honor, that never should have been! Don't Get Even...Get ONE UP!! When the Fat Lady Sings!