We were sugar, spice, and everything picked fresh off the tree. The original peaches baby. It was only the Jehovah's Witnesses that didn't have a Bonnie Bell Lip Smacker's (multitude of flavors) hanging around their necks. We felt bad for them as we slid our clown smiles on every 5 minutes. We had chunky combs that stuck out of back pockets saying "Foxy Lady" and "Tush".
We horrified our mothers by wearing jeans that spent the day trying to creep up our ass cracks, wore hiking boots with puffy vests and had our Joan Jet "in your face" hand gestures down pat. We wore perfume every day...sometimes 5 times a day if need be. The most popular seemed to be Love's Baby Soft and I therefore refused to wear it. I was the sensual rebel who wore "Skin Musk' and refused to tell anyone what is was called so I could be unique in at least one thing. We were the ones who had to shower after every gym class. Dyke phys ed teacher marking off on her clip board whether we were "wet enough".
The school halls reeked of Sour apple, Lemon and any damn fruit flavor they could cram into the bottle. Hard, inflexible clogs were heard clopping for miles. A testament to this generations tenacity...we were the bitch's who wore them with toe socks. Showing the world we were willing to hurt to be beautiful.
We left the pony and the Surfer moves to generations past and showed the world that girls could move. Boys were regulated to the sides of the dance floor and we let the sweat roll down the small of our backs. We were the girls who didn't want prom pictures. We knew even that that the boys were hideous with those perms and they were nothing more than our reputable ticket to that damn dance where we could strut our stuff.
We were the Boones farm guzzlers, Levi strutters, and if you really had it going on, you had the newest technology dangling off of one wrist. A 110 camera. 8 tracks were blase' and cassettes could be plopped into your purse and shoplifted with ease.
School was something to be tolerated, much like Sunday services and back then it was still cool to be in band (you could smoke a doobie in the small practice rooms) But it was in those hallowed halls and in those pink tiled bathrooms that we learned our mothers were wrong. It wasn't only whores who wore tampons. Anybody could do it and 2-3 girls would cram into a stall and be exposed to this wonder of modern feminism. There was no turning back.
We pierced each others ears with darning needles and potatoes. We filed our nails to deadly points and learned that while you may not know why, if you suck on a lollipop in class the boys can't think. We cranked our cheer leading skirts up to heaven and listened to our fathers rant and scream over our attire.
Dexatrim also rolled down those halls. 20/20's and the stupid belief that you don't eat in front of boys. This was the era when a size 3 was really a three. Curling irons and hair spray that didn't turn your hair into a helmet. We used mayonnaise as conditioner once a month and rinsed our hair in beer. Dentyne and Big red combined with our sweet, gooey lips guaranteed our position as the most kissable generation ever.
The teachers could slam us up against lockers, Saturday detentions the norm. We babysat for a dollar an hour and spent every penny on mascara and eyeshadow to be applied frantically among 50 other girls 5 minutes before the first bell rang. Alternating between Elton John, The BeeGee's, The Bay City rollers and the heavy rollers, we were ready to mix it up. But it was Freddy Mercury we were all singing along too. Our parents got on their knees and prayed with their pastor when they found the Judas Priest cassette on your bedroom floor.
And just like every generation before...the old walls came tumbling down.
This one is for you EF!!! Smooch!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJeB0iEXMBI
Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)
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read more blogs!
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Blogs by ColdinWisconsin:
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EternalFlame
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Sep 8 @ 8:20PM
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OMFG I love that song!
"You just don't know what you was missin last night...I wanna see you beggin, n'say 'forget it' just for spite"
I remember once, when I was living with my brother Rick....I had just got out of the shower, a quick towel dry and a good shake of the head and I walked out. My little nephew was standing there and looked at me with awe and said, "Aunt, you look just like Joan Jett!' I was honoured!
We were the ones who had to shower after every gym class. Dyke phys ed teacher marking off on her clip board whether we were "wet enough".
Where have I heard this before? 
And I told you the other day, girl, Lip Smackers, not Bonnie Bell! It was NOT sticky, no matter what you say. You want sticky, try some of that Victoria's Secret lip gloss. You could hang a Bon Jovi poster on the wall with that shit.
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EternalFlame
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Sep 8 @ 8:21PM
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PS. You are not allowed to blog again today, as I am out of kudos.
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ColdinWisconsin
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Sep 8 @ 8:23PM
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Shiiit girl. I wrote 27 pages yesterday.
Screw it...that's what the delete button is for I guess.
And yeah, every time I hear Joan I think of you. That girl had it all going on! 
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EternalFlame
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Sep 8 @ 8:24PM
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Don't you DARE delete!
I have email you know. FFS I love your stories...don't delete them.
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Jacksonboy
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Sep 8 @ 10:02PM
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cassettes could be plopped into your purse and shoplifted with ease.
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Nightowl001
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Sep 8 @ 11:48PM
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Good song, but the captioner was a moron. 
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legacy1
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Sep 9 @ 1:50AM
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Our parents got on their knees and prayed with their pastor when they found the Judas Priest cassette on your bedroom floor.
too funny...my dad shit his pants when he found my Black Sabbath (Live Evil) cassette under my bed mattress...he was not happy and you best believe we were in the front row at church that Sunday....thanks for bringing back a warm memory for me.
PS I now have that cassette on CD....still jams! 
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dizzydoll
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Sep 9 @ 5:05AM
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a queen bee i see
dont get sore on me now. No ill intent meant 
i do enjoy your blogs, they are upbeat and very racey at times. the only time i dont read some is if they are too long
blog on
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daisy315
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Sep 9 @ 6:11AM
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DAMN woman!.. you are on a roll !.. I am saving all my Kudos for you ! Lordy this brought back some great memories.. I wish you could hve seen Laz in her hip hugger blue jeans back then.. and the tube tops!
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ABetterMan
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Sep 15 @ 11:04PM
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I remember having to have Waffle Stompers. Basically hiking boots, for everyday wear. Walking to school through people's backyards and driveways. Taking the long way was for wusses.
Milkshakes at Jr. High lunch for .15, .25 if you wanted the big one!
Taking Choir, because it was right before lunch, and right next to the lunchroom! As well as being our noisy boisterous selves. The choir director trying to separate us by having everyone sing duets with the person sitting next to them. We all sounded great together, pissed her off to no end!
Red Rope licorice after school on Thursdays. The smell of natural gas in the Science classrooms. The smell of the rubber balls in dodgeball. When you threw a ball as hard as you could at people you didn't really know all that well. And, saying "Sorry" was good enough after you knocked someone's glasses off.
Taking a study period as your last class, so you could do your homework, and wouldn't have to do it at home!
Sometimes I think memories are all I have.... 
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