freeagent811
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Sep 12 @ 7:05PM
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Oh, how you have inspired me to write about a few men.
This man impregnated 2 women in less than a year. His name was Vincent. I called him "One Shot Vinnie". All it took to get pregnant was sleep with him once.
Fortunately for me, I was not one of his liaisons.
My ex-boyfriend of 13 years. He acted like a complete ass a lot of the time. He only acted intelligently when in a casino. I named him " Doofus Balls"..
His brother, was a very mean, manipulative little bastard! I nicknamed him " BUTTF@#$, because he constantly ripped people off and screwed them over.
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Heart2Heart453
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Sep 12 @ 7:12PM
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My sister only calls her ex..."dick head" and before time erased the sting of being married to my ex he was fondly called "the a$$hole". He's not a non person anymore but he is currently someone else's future ex husband!.... 
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pinkypaula2
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Sep 12 @ 7:53PM
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my ex boyfriend name tony he was my tony the tiger  
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mikiebigeyes
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Sep 12 @ 8:28PM
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While I'm certain that "takers" have a sixth sense that homes in on "givers", I'm coming to believe that "givers" (for whatever subconcious reason) gravitate toward those that will use and take advantage of them. Just a theory that I've developed after having had my ass kicked by a charismatic psycopath.
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Fender
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Sep 12 @ 8:44PM
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Well...I was stuck on Peaches for a while...I'll never use that name again.
I'm sure you'll find someone as wonderful as you are 
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ttomtarr
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Sep 12 @ 9:05PM
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I once dated a woman who several friends called Miss Liquid Helium. After I got to know her, I thought of her by that name too. Liquid helium is the coldest substance on earth.
Another time, I was simultaneously dating three women named Linda. I thought of them as Big Linda, Little Linda, and Middle Linda.
Long ago, I dated a woman I thought of as the Wolf Lady. She had prominent canine teeth, and extremely voracious appetites, enough to eat any man alive.
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Fayvorite
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Sep 12 @ 9:07PM
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Although I can't remember why but a date once was nicknamed "yo yo" and not in a fond way.
My last ex was "Mr. Data" as he had the emotional capability of a wet noodle but knew everything about anything.
My favorite lover earned the nickname Jumbo Dumbo but he had bionic parts that made me take leave of my senses.
The furry dogs in my life get the cutest and wierdest real nicknames.
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SpiritOrnery
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Sep 12 @ 10:17PM
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My sister calls her last ex, Stinky Pants. Heavy alcoholic that reeked of yeast from the severity of his alcoholism. He apparently made all the furniture smell like nasty old gym socks.
I actually don't have bad names for my exes, just descriptive ones. Except for Rocky. I called him the Drug Addict. (Years and years ago) Last bf was The Bible Thumper. One before that was The Yankee. They both had the same first name so I used those names to differentiate. I am fond of all my ex bfs. Except for Rocky.   I was LONELY! What can I say?
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PsychoMagnet
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Sep 12 @ 10:35PM
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I use numbers . . .
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misschoos
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Sep 12 @ 11:26PM
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I use numbers . . . 
I like that idea!
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RainSongSpirit
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Sep 12 @ 11:44PM
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I had two ex's named Dave....Good Dave / Bad Dave,now they both just suck
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butterfly943
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Sep 13 @ 12:45AM
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Maxie pad but hey his name was Max
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ragtopcookie
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Sep 13 @ 2:40AM
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Ive only had one ex......many names for her over the years........but in the end.....worthless kind of stuck.....but as for the many ex girlfriends.......crazy......nuts......what was i thinking.......glad to be away from......looks didnt matter......looks did matter......stalker.........came damn close......never be sit up again.......never date at work again......no more dating sites......better off alone.......cant be youre kids new daddy.......too young for me.....too old for me.......wont share you with another......not looking to get remarried......youre family sucks......youre friends suck......not youre steppin stone.....wont support you.......good sex.......bad sex........kinky sex.......teacher......live in........never told me youre still married.......not ready to date yet......i think that about covers everything........  .....cookie
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dizzydoll
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Sep 13 @ 5:24AM
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now this is a fun blog......
I had (i say had purposefully) a friend.. Lorraine, 10 years my senior, who had been married 6 times. It was like she was in competition with Liz Taylor or someone. A extremely beautiful woman, top saleslady volkswagen SA for a while too... Anyway she could afford to walk out of the marriage with nothing, and every time she left whomever, she did just that. She has redecorated many a house in her life, and pretty good at that too.
In conversations with others she used to refer to him as # 4, for example, and when asked what # 4 meant, you would see the shock when they found out that was "number 4 husband". Actually i didnt like it and regularly asked her not to reveal the number of husbands she had had, just saying "my ex" was good enough. But she enjoyed the expressions on peoples faces
During that time, we drank a lot... but i didnt drink nearly as much as the others. She drank the most, husband #5 (or whomever) stayed at home and babysitted Gregs while Lorraine hit the pubs and clubs. She never settled down and would freak out if i didnt drop everything and go drinking with her and this crowd of girls........ same sh1t, different faces, different places. For me, it was getting old real fast. So i moved, and didnt let her know where to. Please Lord dont let Lorraine find me! 
Those days were fun but now they are gone  , and now i am in a better place.
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dizzydoll
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Sep 13 @ 5:29AM
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and thats another thing, she also called her husbands names... like dick head too, and not one husband ever left her. in fact the more she treated me like sh1t the more they loved her, i never quite understood that  and i was never half as lucky being nice to men. makes ya think 
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dizzydoll
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Sep 13 @ 5:30AM
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ooops
the more she treated men like sh1t the more they loved her
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PrettyGreenEyes578
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Sep 13 @ 8:31AM
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I don't name or number ex's in my life.
We have to remember that we chose those persons also and we stayed with them for whatever reasons. It takes 2 to make a relationship.
I have strived to analyze my choices and any wrongdoing or poor choices on my part and learn from them and try to do better the next time around. I am still learning lessons as I am sure all of us are. Just different lessons.
I truly wish any of my ex's love and the best that life has to offer him. I don't hold grudges or resentments.
There is a reason why they were a part of our journey and when the time comes we release them and they release us.
Those ex's that had particular issues, I continue to pray for them.
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edthepoet
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Sep 13 @ 12:25PM
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You should continue writing blog, your signature style is awesome.
I was just glad you didn't post the men pet names for their manhood,lol
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mystery2u888
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Sep 18 @ 6:40AM
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I put my ex in my cellphone and people didn't believe what I had his name in there for.......although I am friends with all my old bf ......the actual EX I was with had a special name that I will not repeat.......it says it all in one word 
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BionicCouple
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Oct 9 @ 9:20PM
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Fabulously entertaining blog Fran ... thanks so much!
My friend and I refer to all exes as "HIM", we usually know to whom we're referring depending on the conversation.
My last two exes are fondly known as "Funsucker" and "The Drunk". 
My ex-husband was never fondly known as anything  and is now commonly known as Shit-head, f***-face or That-Wanker!!!! depending on the strength of his inanity.
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