This was sent to me and having gained a few pounds I need to lose, I found it amusing. No offense is intended, as I found myself in many of the sentences.
Diet
A diet is a weigh of life.
It's something most of us do religiously: We eat what we want and
pray we don't gain weight.
A diet is what you go on when not only can't you fit into the
store's dresses, you can't fit into the dressing room.
One guideline applies to fat and thin people alike: If you're thin,
don't eat fast. If you're fat, don't eat... just fast.
The problem with curbing our appetites is that most of us do it at
the drive in window of McDonalds.
The most fattening thing you can put in an ice cream sundae is a
spoon.
The biggest drawback to fasting for seven days is that it makes one
weak.
Above all, dieters are advised to avoid Pepsi, the pause that
refleshes.
Sweets are the destiny that shapes our ends.
Diets are for people who are thick and tired of it.
The toughest part of a diet isn't watching what you eat. It's
watching what other people eat.
Diets are for women who not only kept their girlish figure bit
doubled it.
A diet is when you have to go to some length to change your width.
It's not the minutes spent at the table that put on weight, it's
the seconds.
The best way to lose weight is by skipping...snacks and desert.
Most people gain weight by having intimate dinners for two...alone.
People go to Weight Watchers to learn their lessens.
A diet is the modern-day meal in which a family counts its calories
instead of its blessings.
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