Sept. 21 2003. I met the most beautiful girl. It was a night that will burn in my memories forever. Somehow we started kissing, we didn't stop til the next morning. One year later to the exact day my daughter was born. We had her party yesterday. My mom had her in the prettiest dress. She was so happy. All her cousins were there. There was only one thing missing? Her mom. I will never understand how a mother can walk away so easy from the life they brought to this world. Just tryin to understand. Never will
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| As a daughter smiles, a father feels the pain. |
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dizzydoll
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Sep 21 @ 12:32PM
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some things we will never understand..... but just make sure you look after that precious little girl, dont let her out of your sight 
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Loreli
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Sep 21 @ 12:36PM
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I don't understand it either.
Just love that little girl with all your heart, and things will happen to make it right for both of you.
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bardnsage
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Sep 21 @ 12:56PM
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Brother,,, the chain that is pulling this rollar coaster to the top of the hill is just starting to rattle. Pull down your straps,,, grip the bar as tight as you can,,, because you are about to go on the wildest ride you have ever imagined. Excitement, and thrills,,,, mixed with abject terror at times,,,,,, and when that car at last hits the buffers and comes to stop,,,,, you will wonder what the heck just happened,,,, that was so fast,,,, I wish I could do it again.
Enjoy the ride,,,, it only goes around once.
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ragtopcookie
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Sep 21 @ 1:07PM
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It happens my friiend......and another thing thats even worse......is when the not around ...so called mother...favors one against the other......to this day...my daughter still suffers from this.......and its sad to have to watch........there is a place called hell that will even out everything in the end.......the games will be over then........cookie
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TCsDad
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Sep 21 @ 1:40PM
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chevymn,
I don't know the specifics of your situation, but my ex went through severe post partum after our daughter was born.
The RD version is that the post partum was followed by even deeper clinical depression and then a lot of self medication, i.e. drug, alcohol and over the counter cold and sleep meds. She left us one Sunday morning while the kids and I were at church and my daughter was not even two years old. I have raised my daughter (now just about to turn 10) on my own.
After seven years of separation our divorce was finalized last February. My daughter still has anxiety about mommy leaving but a very important key to your journey (in my opinion) is to always be open and honest about what happened. Never lie to your child about the reality, whatever the circumstances. Of course you will need to be careful to balance things to her level, which will change as time passes. Explain things when the questions are asked. Not on your own just any old time. When she asks something, it means she has moved up the ladder a little more and you need to fill in what she's looking for. The older she gets, the more detailed the questions will be, but always, always always, be honest with her.
We can't do anything for or about the choices made by your little girl's mom, but you can show your daughter how honesty will make it less likely that she will ever make the same kind of mistakes in life.
I have gone to great lengths to make sure my ex had (and still does have) a relationship with our child. Not to satisfy my ex or to make me feel any better about the whole thing, but because my daughter needs to know both of her parents. (I can tell you that it was very hard at times a few years ago when there was still a lot of substance abuse, but I got creative in keeping things under tight supervision.) My little girl needs to see that I will do whatever it takes to make sure that even the bad things in life can be worked through by staying open and honest with the people we love.
I feel for you in that we (and many other men) are swimming in the same sea, but stay strong. When you read to your daughter and tuck her in at night, fix that image in your mind. She sleeps comfortably under the love, devotion and security that you provide for her. Never forget the importance of what you have or the responsibility you carry. It is the very best thing you will ever be called to do in this life, and I assure you there will be times when it won't seem that way.
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TCsDad
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Sep 21 @ 1:49PM
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by the way, here's something I wrote for my daughter a few weeks ago, knowing that one day she will be walking out the door to start a new chapter in her life;
All Grown Up
It’s not a date, she said to me
We’re just gonna’ go hang out
The mall, a movie with some other kids
That’s what it’s all about
But they hung out longer every night
For the past year or so
And lately daddy’s little girl
Just couldn’t wait to go
I guess it happens just this way
In everybody’s life
Precious pixies grow up one day
To become somebody’s wife
I didn’t do enough, I know
To capture each event
First steps, first word and all those things
My time account now spent
I’d give it all, each thing I own
For just another chance
To have her standing on my toes
While teaching her to dance
My baby girl, a woman now
I don’t know what to do
Except to tell her when I can
Daddy still loves you
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babygreeneyes
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Sep 25 @ 9:39AM
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I know exactually what you are talking about. I have been raising two of my grandsons since they were born (13&15).Their mother just didn't want to care for them. She also had two daughters she gave to her mother. I to could never understand how a mother could just walk away from her children. Someday MAYBE she will regret what she did.Women like her give the word"MOTHER" a bad name!!
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beckyiv42000
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Sep 30 @ 11:39AM
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Chevy I cannot understand how any Parent could up and leave.. yes divorce sometimes is the only answer to stop the fighting or pain.. but to leave a child ?? TO step away from them and leave them wondering ..why?? To just act as if they dont exist??To make NO effort to have a relationship of some kind.. to show they care..to put either drugs alcohol or another spouse/mate before them??Or to do something to cause them NOT to be able to see them?? (jail etc) there is no excuse.. I have had to raise my three without their fathers and had to explain why Daddy doesnt have TIME for them or why Daddy chose to do what he did to make it impossible for him to see her.. tis funny that the easiest one to explain why daddy wasnt around is the one whose father passed even tho before he passed he spent no time with him.. all we can do is be there for our children and let them know that they are not alone in this world.. and if we can... be there for those children that have no one...even those whose parents are there but they still have no one yanno what I mean???
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