Do Not Take the Red-Necked Trash Bird Off the Endangered Species List! posted 10/4/2009 10:53:15 AM | 2 kudos what's this?     report abuse tagged: humor

Etowah

There they go again . . . as beloved Ronald Reagan used to day. The arrogant, Librul biased media is calling for the removal of the Red Necked Trash Bird from the endangered species list! It is just another effort to snip away at our 28 year old god-fearing program for eliminating the American Middle Class. As all of you God-fearing Republikenz know, the four most important successes of Reichfuhrer's Bush's administration were: (1) the Patriot Act (2) the contract with Haliburton six months before the invasion of Iraq giving them exclusive rights to all the oil there (3) His first executive order authorizing FEMA to build 121 concentration camps for libruls & socialists - designed and built by Haliburton and (4) Placement of the Red-necked Trash Bird under the protection of the Endangered Species List.

The Red-necked Trash Bird is not a beautiful animal, but it performs valuable services to society. They stand out whether in the woods or at the tractor pull. They usually have bleached blonde hair, god-fearing white skin, a pot belly and frozen smiles on their faces. However, when thangs don't go according to plan, the males look puzzled, run away and holler "Mama, mama" (they usually don't know who their daddies were). The females usually have good figures until age 15 when they start having babies. Pretty soon afterward, they start looking like hippopotamuses. When the thangs don't go as planned, the females also looked puzzled, and holler "Jaysus, Jaysus."

To show you how valuable this species is to our god-fearing plan to create a two class society, I will recount an actual event that occurred on Saturday, October 3. The Jawja State Police had everthing planned right nice. It was a perfect day for killing a tree-hugger. Makes us feel right powerful to kill or beat up tree huggers.

Right here in the central Jawja Mountains, we have everything like the whole nation is supposed to be. The State Patrol station in Blue Ridge, Jawja protects a compound of Florida drug dealers living east of Cherry Log (Yep, that's the same Cherry Log made famous by poet James Dicky's poem) The drug dealers give lots of money to the local Republican politicians, who then make sure that no one bothers them. If there is any Feds or socialists snooping around, the boys in the KKK or the Patriots take care of them. However, the planning of these thangs has to be done by state cops, because the good ole boys follow orders, but are right stupid.

Well, the crooked state police guys watched from a distance, where they thought they couldn't be seen. That's the big problem with crooked state cops. When they become criminals, they start thinking that they are smarter than everybody else like criminals do.

The KKK boys bled the air out of the Injun tree-huggers' tires while he was up on Rich Mountain hiking with his dogs. We even sent two cars of our people to make sure no one else was on the trail. When he came back, he was supposed to be helpless since an Injun tree hugger is obviously gay and a wus since he ain't a god-fearing Republican. A jeep loaded with some pretty god-fearing Southern Baptist gals from Fannin County High School, were supposed to come up and offer to get someone to change his tires. Instead several pickup loads of our god-fearing Republican, Southern Baptist KKK boys would come up, beat the shit out of him, strip him naked and them hang him . . . like we been doing the last few years to librual hikers found alone on the mountain trails around chere.

Damn! He t'wernt ome of them thar submissive Cherokee Injuns! He was one of them mean Creek injuns, and he was armed! And he knew how to fight - and fight real mean! Not only that, he had two of them cans of stuff that fills up flat tires. It messed up everything. Our KKK boys had brought along their bleached blonde, god-fearing, Southern Baptist ho's to watch all the fun. Instead, they ran off into the woods hollering Jaysus, Jaysus!

Now you can see that if the Red -necked Trash Bird was taken off the endandered list, they would not be eligible for protection from the Jawja State Police. Then mean Injun tree huggers everywhere would start picking on our people. Lordamercy! America might start having a nation run by middle class people or something!

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