It is easy to laugh at people far away, to make jokes about Chinamen , Indians, or people on the other side of the world. It is a cheap shot indeed, with no skin off one's own nose, and little risk of one's self being ridiculed.
There are those here on MD who find the transformations of aging humerous, easy sport for young people whose own maturity seems far away.
But to those of who care for aged friends and parents, the humor is a bit harder to find. To watch beloved family members slowly lose the abilities that upheld their dignity and self respect is not fodder for jokes, elicits very little braying.
To watch the confusion and sadness in the "clear moments" of an aging parent, as he realised what has slipped away in the clouded past day, week, or month, inspires no humor in a sane mind, each loss being one step closer to death.
My Dad once said sadly, "When I was in business, I knew all the important people in town by their first name, and they knew me, but now I can't remember where I am". While that may inspire guffaws from some MD members, it was one of the saddest moments I observed in the life of a proud and able man. He knew he was slipping badly, he knew he was helpless. He knew he was dieing,
Ageing. and dieing is a progressive loss of abilities. Little by little one's world shrinks, at first losing minor things like hobbies, hair and muscle mass, and later on, memory, sexuality, driving, walking, excretory control, ability to stand, and finally releasing life itself.
Any person who knows this process sees it for what it is, the slow loss of life, the slow progress of dieing.
Any who find a source of mirth in this have only my pity, both for their lack of ability to empathize with old people in a very difficult stage of life, and pity for their own ignorance of where they themselves will be a few decades hence.
For this reason, I suggest, laugh at yourself. Joke about your own multiple shortcomings, be they economic, physical, or intellectual. Laugh at yourself, and at least you will know what you are laughing at.
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DRACULA_VwV
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Oct 10 @ 3:54PM
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observed50
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Oct 10 @ 4:24PM
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Good blog, Tom. I sense that something brought this to the surface as it speaks with an emotional power and clarity that suggests something was stirred. I have a number of friends now whose parents are disappearing into alzheimers and dementia. As you suggest, to have known them in the high states of their self-knowing, extension into the world ("knowing everyone's name) makes watching the slow process of disappearance that much more painful. You recognize the body...but you don't know the person.
My mom died of cancer, and I watched as the cancer metastasized to her brain, and she lost capacity to speak and know. My dad is in his 80s, and his mind remains sharp, and inquisitive. I often talk through with him the changes going on for him so we as siblings can sense when and if we ever have to intervene in some manner for his well being.
What is wonderful is when those carrying the age help you laugh with them at the infirmities of their aging. The neighbors across the street make smart comments about their age and doctor visits all the time, the same neighbor that I helped with an ambulance call several weeks ago. We laugh and joke about hip replacements, bladder control, pacemakers, all in jest at how we keep being forced to surrender control to time.
May we be so lucky to still have some important controls when we each reach the door of 'no returns.' 
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missliss78
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Oct 10 @ 5:02PM
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Here's to you and Observed.
And here's to our aging citizenship.
I love older people & I have decided if ever I go back to working a public job it will involve them on some level.
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DRACULA_VwV
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Oct 10 @ 5:33PM
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luneib
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Oct 10 @ 5:47PM
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Everyone ages, that's life, those who make fun of older people will eventually be that age. I guess it's hard for some to realize that when they are young. Just because someone is older does not mean they are less valuable to society, they have alot of wisdom to impart.
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luneib
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Oct 10 @ 5:48PM
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You get a Kudo. 
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sloriver
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Oct 10 @ 7:53PM
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I remember a most poignant moment that brought home to me the despair of aging. My dad worked for me and had done something or other that I considered improper. I don’t remember his mistake but remember asking him to be more careful. In a moment tears filled his eyes and he said, “Jake, I’m not the man I once was. Maybe it’s time for me to retire. I just can’t do things right any more.”
At that moment I realized how much I loved him and enjoyed working with him. I told him that he was still a better man than I’d ever find again. I hope he believed me because it was true. Six years have passed and I think he realizes he won’t be able to take care of the house and my mom much longer. I can see the desperation and despair in him, not because he’s afraid of death, but because he’s afraid of life out of control. God bless him and all who age.
As for those who make fun of age and take pride in their youth, there is nothing to take pride in. Youth is given to, and is slowly wasted by those who think it will go on forever. How very much you have to learn. If you only knew how silly you appear.
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Fender
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Oct 10 @ 8:12PM
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jowi369
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Oct 10 @ 8:15PM
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signme
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Oct 10 @ 8:37PM
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Wait until the younger ones hit a certain age and find out they cannot do all they used to. It won't be funny then. I get so frustrated with my arthritis because there are many daily chores I have so much trouble with now. You have to be a strong person to handle the daily challenges of aging. Most people do it with dignity.
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BionicCouple
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Oct 10 @ 10:05PM
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Yes, it's hard for the young to even comprehend old age but they will all get there in the end. It's strange how unless we're taken suddenly, when we get old we almost return to babyhood ... perhaps the only upside to that is we will be ready to die when our time comes, but the reality of it all seems so cruel.
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summerbreeze916
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Oct 10 @ 11:59PM
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Wonderful blog, ttom. I caretake for my 76 year old sister. I know that one day, I will be where she is......GOD willing. I see pain and fear in her eyes just about every single day, but she still has a great sense of humor. THAT is dignity on all counts. 
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dizzydoll
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Oct 11 @ 1:27AM
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i have to disagree with the peanut gallery again. we have to learn to laugh at ourselves AND not be so serious, thats why we have jokes. For God sake man, being a blonde i have been the butt of many a joke. Get over it Tom  was this blogs intent to target this young girl? Making fun of her is how blog wars begin, you know that. 
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Tanikogirl
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Oct 11 @ 3:43AM
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Brilliant blog Tom how right you are, you have to go through it to undrstand it.
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dizzydoll
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Oct 11 @ 4:17AM
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this was probably brought on my singapores blogs. if it was, i would suggest you stop reading them 
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kywonder
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Oct 11 @ 3:00PM
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You deserve a kudo for this blog. I remember when my aunt was dying from Alzheimer. It was such a sad sight to watch. My uncle (my mom's brother) would bring her to family functions and stuff. It was terrifying for her. Every where she went, she was in a place with people she could not remember or places that were not familiar to her. It broke my heart to see the terror on her face. I don't know why my uncle could not see it and keep her home where she at least felt safe.
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Tiramisu4u
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Oct 11 @ 4:11PM
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This is prob the most poignant and heart-rendering blog that I have read in a long time.
My daughter owns an Altzheimer Home, and it breaks my heart to see the different degrees of terror and confusion I witness each time I visit... 
Our country was built with the strength and perseverance of our Seniors and to see them lose that part of who they once were is so very sad.
Bless you for bringing to the forefront an issue that needs to be recognized.
**THERE, BUT FOR THE GRACE OF YEARS, GO I.......**
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