"Now I've been afraid of changes
Cos I built my life around you.
But time makes you bolder, children get older
I'm getting older, too."
- Fleetwood Mac, Landslide
A man wrote to me here with a message that I guess was supposed to be funny, but it came off as crass and impolite. I think he meant to imply that he would like to get to know me, but he was out of my age range. He said:
"Well, there is the age difference thing, but you're 21. A girl model is at her peak when she's 17, and by the time she's 19 she's way over the hill. So you're about 63 in girl years, lol."
He meant to hit me where it hurt, and he did. I wrote back and my tone let him know, and he started to make fun of my height. That doesn't bother me: I have accepted that because I'm so short people are going to point my height out to me as if I don't notice it. His comment about the weather "down here" is a lot more tame than some of the other things I've heard.
After a few days of reflecting on his first comment, though, I've come to discover that it really doesn't offend me. I'm sure that if he reads this, this is going to kill him, but he really didn't hurt me as much as he made me think.
Am I "old"? No. It was only eleven years ago that I was in fourth grade in a "swing club" with my friends, and it was only four years ago that I was just entering my last year of high school. I'm hardly on my death bed. Am I an eighteen year old anymore? No...but I'm glad I'm not. Those were not the best of times. Hardly, in fact. I don't like to look back on my teen years and reminisce about them very often: they weren't that great. Lots of angst, lots of hormones, lots of hurt. and lots of friendships ending because we were too young and insecure to communicate with each other about our hurt feelings. They were great friendships too. I still miss you, Jon.
If the modeling industry considers me "old", it's because nothing about it is realistic. The modeling industry is a giant fantasy land where women are photoshopped to look like aliens who have jaws bigger than their pelvises. Of course nineteen is "over the hill" and twenty-one is "63". It's kind of the same as them considering me "fat". Am I "fat"? No. Are most women in America "fat"? No...most are "overweight", but most are not "fat". They just aren't THAT image.
I'm glad I'm twenty one. I have an eighteen year old friend who, even though she is smarter than most others her age, is still very typical. I'm glad I'm not that way anymore, because I know I used to be. She is quick to anger, self-righteous, concerned only with her own happiness, VERY high maintenance, and moody beyond belief. I don't hold it against her. I don't consider it a character flaw. I know she'll grow out of it. Too many people look at young people and say: "why are they so nasty? what right do they have to act that way?" Well, maybe that's just what they are, and you just have to wait for them to grow into something more. A fruit never tastes good when you've just bought it: you have to wait awhile. Usually just before it rots.
I've often said that there's no real merit to being young. Sure, you're more beautiful, at least by societal standards, but besides that...there's no real merit to it. You're stupid, you're self righteous, you think everything happens for your own entertainment and your own happiness, and everything makes you angry. Who wants to live that way? What's so wonderful about being young? That you don't have wrinkles? Aren't the wrinkles a sign of a life well-lived? A sign of all the lessons that you've learned, of everything you've seen that made you learn and become the better person that you are? At least ideally: in the end, it's your own choice to take what you have learned and make yourself a better person. If you end up bitter, that's not life's fault...it's yours.
Nothing makes me as angry the way it used to even a year ago. I realized what is and isn't worth it. I realized which battles are not mine to fight, and which ones are not worth it to fight. Getting into a personal debate about character that turns into a yelling match with someone because their politics are different is not worth it. Getting angry with someone who doesn't understand me because they haven't lived my life is not worth it. Allowing some man who considers me "old" and "short" is not worth it. I just chose to think about it and take something positive from it instead.
Maybe we should try and do that more often...
BTW - the weather down here is a LOT sunnier than the weather up there, I think....
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read more blogs!
Blogs by LipGlossQueen9:
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| "You're 63 In Girl Years, LOL..." |
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kjac
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Oct 11 @ 8:51PM
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Judging from this blog, you're a lot older than most of the people here.
No wait, not older. Just more mature.
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bluewind37
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Oct 11 @ 9:01PM
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My youngest sister is 4'11, and she can be quite feisty when pushed. Oh yeah, one of her favorite sayings is "good things come in small packages".
Being 44, I sometimes think it would be nice to be in my 20's again, then I stop and realize, I don't miss the "drama". And I don't have wrinkles...they're laugh lines. 
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chubs
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Oct 11 @ 10:35PM
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great blog, gloss, and very well written...I seez there is also some brains and wisdom inside of that little black dress too, jhey! 
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jayej
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Oct 12 @ 1:43AM
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Wow
I have been around here off and on for a couple of years.
To me you are a pup, but this blog Lipglossqueen....
it is like watching you grow.
Kudos
J 
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dizzydoll
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Oct 12 @ 3:15AM
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I hope he reads your blog.
He is childish. EQ (emotional intelligence) has more value than IQ
its all about growing old gracefully
and he is not
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exvagabond
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Oct 12 @ 6:47AM
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I've often said that there's no real merit to being young...You're stupid, you're self righteous, you think everything happens for your own entertainment and your own happiness, and everything makes you angry. That, plus you're smaller than the old farts and they can exploit and push you around, and then piss and moan about "these snotty kids nowadays."
I could still be 25, if I had wanted. All I had to do was let the old farts draft me for Vietnam. But I didn't, and I'm 62. I would rather be 62, but first I had to make 26. Longevity is the best revenge.
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Tunes4u
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Oct 12 @ 11:17AM
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I am quite sure Momma is very proud about now..... 
Nice post!
~*~
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Always_Striving
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Oct 12 @ 11:27AM
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He is trying to play you with a:
Back-handed Compliment.
Here are other examples of spoken Back-handed Compliments....
- Just because other people don't think you're the prettiest woman in the doesn't mean that I don't.
- No matter what bad things people are saying about you I think of you as God's gift to mankind.
- You may be fat in other people's eyes, but in my eyes you are a hot model.
- Other people might think you are an idiot but I know you are a genius.
Back-handed Compliments are intended to subconsciously tear down your morale and your self-esteem through social paranoia (the bad things people around you are thinking or whispering) while at the same is supposed to be creating an attraction to the guy (your sypathizer) who is actually insulting you by undermining your intelligence and patronizing you. He's playing you as a naive girl.
Recognise this greasy slime ball tactic for what it is.
Peace be with you.
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beckyiv42000
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Oct 12 @ 3:20PM
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Lippy we both know how nasty some folks can be.. its the only way they THINK they are making themselves better than they are or better than those they try to tear down... silly really .. because if you have to tear at someone that already shows that the person doing the tearing thinks that the tearee IS better than them... no reason to try to discredit someone who is lesser .. right?? Oh btw just because someone has YEARS does not mean they have maturity 
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Nightowl001
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Oct 12 @ 8:18PM
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Well, LGQ.. Kjac is right. You're a lot more mature than many people on here. You have EVERY reason to feel good about yourself. Don't listen to anyone telling you differently.
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SpiritOrnery
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Oct 12 @ 9:51PM
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you think everything happens for your own entertainment and your own happiness,
It's not? Dayum!   
Yeah, you know he is a snot. Lot of people out there pretend to not be putting you down when they do. Jealousy, I tell you. They do shitty things either out of jealousy or anger because you are rejecting them. And don't forget, being here and in a relationship pisses the people off that hate rejection. So, you are a target for their emotional problems. They strike out at people that don't want them.
Listen to Striving. He knows what he's talking about.
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ttomtarr
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Oct 12 @ 10:34PM
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Older men can enjoy plenty of company of younger women once they learn a basic fact.
When it comes to romance, nature has arranged it that a lovely young woman is drawn to a handsome young man.
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