Aren't These The Truth!

1* I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

2* Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3* I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when
I was younger.

4* The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.

5* There is a great need for sarcasm font.

6* Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f*** was going on when I first saw it.

7* How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

8* I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

9* I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

10* The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

11* Was learning cursive really necessary?

12* I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

13* How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

14* I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

15* MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

16* Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

17* Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

18* I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

19* Bad decisions and bad experiences make good stories

20* Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?

21* You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

22* There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

23* I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

24* I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

25* As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

26* Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

27* It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

28* I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

29* Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...