I probably shouldn't be writing this blog right now. I have tried to write a poem about how I am feeling, but nothing comes,... that makes sense anyway.
Some days, I wonder why I am here. I know, I know... we are ALL here for some reason.... but there seems to be aspects of my life these days that just don't make a lot of sense to me.
Things I thought were going well... just aren't in the end....My editor and publisher works from Georgia and after the flood, I have not been able to reach him.. although I am sure he is OK since I have seen him online. If it was not for mom and my daughter, I am sure I would withdraw somewhat.
Every turn I seem to make, the path gets narrower and narrower, and it seems that one day, it will just dead end and there I will be... standing there... wondering what happened.
I want to yell out~ "What's next!! Does anyone hear me?? Why didn't it all work??"
I HAD a plan, and when that didn't work, I had another, and another.
I can't and won't believe what the substitute minister said about if we don't talk to God for a while, he leaves us. I know that he NEVER leaves us...
I told you I shouldn't blog now..... I am in a funk and a half. It's not a happy place.
Who said that tomorrow will be better, brighter, more hopeful... and it just may... but today... today is a different story.... 
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read more blogs!
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chubs
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Oct 13 @ 3:30AM
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believe me, I understand exactly what yer saying, and I'm not going to give you any trite advise full of false hope about how to handle it...but hang in there, jhey!
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Josuha
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Oct 13 @ 4:15AM
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I can't and won't believe what the substitute minister said about if we don't talk to God for a while, he leaves us. I know that he NEVER leaves us...
No..He does'nt.
Trust me..I've ran..and I can run fast.
But He can run faster.
"For it is He who delivers you from the snare of the trapper and from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with His pinions.
And under His wings, you may seek refuge.
His faithfulness is a shield and buckler."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lH1g1NQkUtE
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BionicCouple
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Oct 13 @ 4:22AM
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I told you I shouldn't blog now..... I am in a funk and a half. It's not a happy place.
I find it's the best time to blog ... someone is always listening, even if only you're subconscious.
It's at times like you're going through our faith is tested (whatever that be, religious or otherwise it bolsters our faith in ourselves). At times like these it's difficult to believe the universe is making way for our plans to comes to fruition. All I know is I have experienced the very best things coming out of the worst. At the time it's difficult to imagine why it's happened but it all becomes evident in time. If we are to have wonderful highs in life it stands to reason we must also experience extreme lows, there has to be balance, it's universal law.
Hang on in there Syb, I'm sure things will feel different very soon. 
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musicianfriend
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Oct 13 @ 4:22AM
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I try to look at every bump in the road...every trial and tribulation....as growth..
Gold is ONLY refined to purity by fire......
You getting refined...so rejoice...cause you will be pure gold when its over! lol
YOur right..God never leaves us..no matter what...that minister is wrong in my opinion..who knows what he actually meant by that comment......perhaps that was his way to get you to pray more..because he knows that will benefit your life...
Prayer......the ultimate wireless communication..
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WSOR
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Oct 13 @ 8:03AM
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Been in your situation many a time. In times like these when we blog, it's when we discover just how many others have walked in our shoes & can sympathize. On days like those, I remind myself of the great friends I have in here that do care, & am thankful for those I've met, & those I will meet in years to come. *HUGS* to you for brighter days ahead.
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luneib
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Oct 13 @ 8:10AM
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I've had plans too which literally fell apart before my eyes, it is extremely frustrating when you had a job and then poof it's gone, or when you had a good life and get divorced, and poof that is gone too, I feel like you in a bit of a funk. It's so hard to be positive when you are just not in the place you want to be right now in your life. You have to stay positive. Our lives are how we make them. I think each path we take is a path of discovery, you just have to keep walking those paths to discover where you should be. I have felt like you did a few years ago, wondering, why am I here, what is my purpose? I think it's normal to be asking that question of yourself. For me I think I was put here to help others, I get great satisfaction in doing that, even if it's just giving advice to friends or being there for them to lean on me.
You will be fine. Things will get better, you just have to believe that they will. Don't think of the negative things in your life, think of the positives, places you might have visited which made you happy, think back to those memories. I am in a group online on another site and I recently wrote this, it's a group for those who are feeling down, depressed, say to yourself each morning when you wake up "BELIEVE IN ME". We all have to believe in ourselves, love ourselves.
Here are a ton of hugs for the day. I hope they make you feel better.(((Hugs))) Squeeze, I hope you feel them. 
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Tiramisu4u
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Oct 13 @ 9:47AM
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Sending BIG HUGS and reassurrance for a better tomorrow...I so understand...
We all CARE, hun...
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MrPaul
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Oct 13 @ 10:18AM
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Hang in there
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amvet
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Oct 13 @ 12:23PM
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Have you ever read the prayer FootPrints in the sand? I fight depression by thinking of all the good times and I just won't let myself be depressed. I dwell on the positive and only give the negative as little of my time as is absolutely necessary. May God Bless You with better days ahead.
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1frantastic
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Oct 15 @ 5:15AM
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Funk gives reason to write....
For me...it's harder NOT to write...cause what I have to say only brings others down...and that is NOT what I want...
You got a lot of positive responses from readers.....you are getting your "uplifts"...
carry on...you are doing fine.....
any plan is better...*mostly* than no plan...and the alternative to life is.....
none...
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Roverboy
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Oct 15 @ 1:31PM
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For most of my life, I've had the majority of the plans I've made (usually the ones that would enable me to better myself) fall apart at the seams. Not because i was lazy, un-motivated, or just didn't have the enthusiasm, but because things simply worked out that way.
On the other hand, there's a joke that a friend used to tell: "I gave up trying to build a time machine: the reason I gave up is simple: if I succeeded, the first thing I'd do is to go back in time and tell myself how I did it!"
In other words: if you KNEW why you were here, that would take away half the fun.
Look at it this way: suppose you had a degree in business, and you took a job at #1 WTC, New York, with a start date of 9/10/2001. Not to sound morbid, but odds are that you wouldn't be here now.
It didn'thappen, and you ARE here: make the best of it, and don't worry so much about the bumps, no matter how high they are. Just deal with 'em to the best of your ability, don't worry about them, and move on.
As the old Nissan advertising campaign said "Life is a journey: enjoy the ride."
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