Years ago, one of my closest friends and I would go out every Friday night to a nearby town and do what we Britt’s call.. a ‘Pub crawl’.
Having one or two drinks in one pub then heading off to the next. Probably named as a ‘crawl’ because that’s what a lot of people ended up doing at the end of the night!
Sometimes my friend would come back to my flat and stay in the spare room, and other times I’d go to theirs and sleep on the sofa.
We were not just drinking buddies tho, we were good friends who shared our confidences, gave each other advice, and would often be on the phone with each other most days.
We had a good friendship, and I have some good memories.
Then I met my husband to be. My friend said that with respect they would back off from our friendship.
Why?... because my friend was a guy.
He didn’t think that my boyfriend at the time would understand that a man and a woman could be good friends with nothing else involved.
And it’s true, there was never anything between us, we were very fond of each other as friends, but that’s as far as it ever went.
We often used to roll our eyes and laugh when people would assume we were a couple, and we’d joke and say we’re never going to meet anyone while going out together because of people’s perception of a guy and a woman going out together.
But meet someone I did, I told my boyfriend of my friendship, and he said he was ok with it, but I often felt a certain uneasiness about him if I ever said that my friend and I were going out somewhere together.
My friend David and I, stayed as close friends as we were able, but then when he met a lady, her jealousy was far worse than my boyfriends, and soon our friendship began to dwindle. That was 20 years ago.
The sad thing is, I don’t even know where he is any more, where he moved to, or whether he married or not. I have searched for him on friendship sites but to no avail.
Some people have a strong view that a man and a woman cannot be just friends, always treating it with suspicion, thinking that there’s got to be more to it than what it appears.
Here in MD, I have 2 really good male friends, we send each other e mails and chat about things in general, they have never said anything in a flirting tone, and respect my marriage which I in return respect immensely. Its just good to chat about their day, life etc and we too give each other advice sometimes.
A friend doesn’t have to be of the same sex, just to be called friend, they have thoughts and feelings, life’s challenges and rewards the same as any of us.
A friend should not be judged on the colour of their skin, nor their status in life or political views, neither should they be judged in what sex they are…
For in this life we live, with all its ups and downs, twisting paths, challenges and accomplishments….
We all need a friend sometimes….
And a friend, a good friend, who is always pleased to hear from you… to share life’s stories, whether happy or sad…
Doesn’t come in a certain package…
They are what they are… beneath the body, under the skin…
They are… quite simply… our friends.
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| A friend beneath the skin... |
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oct_cat
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Oct 13 @ 3:01PM
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we Britt’s call.. a ‘Pub crawl’. Here, when I was younger, we called it bar hopping; not sure if the hopping was due to hopping on & off bar stools, or hopping while waiting in line to use the restroom! 
And a friend, a good friend, who is always pleased to hear from you… to share life’s stories, whether happy or sad…
Doesn’t come in a certain package…
They are what they are… beneath the body, under the skin…
They are… quite simply… our friends.
Well said!
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beckyiv42000
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Oct 13 @ 3:01PM
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Exactly!!!  I have many male FRIENDS... just seem to get along better with them more interests shared etc.. and Mac has met my best friend.. yeppers hes male and married and thankfully his wife and I are also wonderful friends ... Im so glad Mac is not the jealous type.. because well thats MY job 
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1frantastic
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Oct 13 @ 3:20PM
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so true...and a friend of mine said it was more (I was speaking of FWB) "than muscle spasms" that was the benefit....you don't need those from the opposite sex to be FRIENDS...although many don't understand what a REAL friend does do...
sadly to say...my last "friend"departed because of what his other "friends" THOUGHT!   
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leprichaun_magic
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Oct 13 @ 5:10PM
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..so true..a friend is a Friend ..in all circumstances..its sad that you lost touch
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MrPaul
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Oct 13 @ 11:13PM
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For in this life we live, with all its ups and downs, twisting paths, challenges and accomplishments….
We all need a friend sometimes Well said dear lady  God bless you and yours 
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dizzydoll
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Oct 14 @ 2:37AM
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popo did a blog on this a while back and i voted that we should be allowed to stay on sites like MD after getting involved or married, the majority here disagreed. Dont ask me why? I would.
About your friend, David, you might find if you did a search with Skype you might find him. I found my ex like that and even tho he is married, i know the woman who he is married too and she is a wonderful woman, he sends me fun mail (but she doesnt know) and he wanted me to keep him posted when i was in the US cos he knows i take risks and was a bit worried i might get lost.
so doll, give Skype a try, wot you got to loose 
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