Stuck In The Middle With You ... posted 10/14/2009 8:38:28 PM | 3 kudos what's this?     report abuse

BionicCouple

I admire a person's ability to write an interesting blog without actually saying what it's about. I've never been able to do that, although I suppose I could if I tried, I'm not sure I'd find it all that gratifying otherwise I guess I would have given it a try. This isn't a criticism, rather an observation of the difference in the way people write.

Isn't it amazing when people reveal something you never knew about them? I generally find these revelations come from showing a genuine interest, perhaps these exchanges only happen between friends who have a deep level of trust ... Having said that, I have had a lot of experiences in my life where people I barely know have revealed quite extraordinary things about themselves ... perhaps that's why in time they booted me out of their lives ... it's hard knowing someone out there knows all that about us when all we want to do is put it behind us. It's happened to me so many times now I'm loathe to make new friendships and rather stick with good acquaintances, it's less draining.

What a lot of people don't realise is they will never get to know even a little of what goes on inside another person's head unless they ask questions and really listen to the answers ... but the important thing is to ask the questions ... not delving or personal, just gentle, honest, interested questions that leave others in no doubt we actually care one way or another.

My personal experience of most people is they're only really interested in themselves and will talk until the cows come home without a single thought as to what others are thinking or feeling or what's going on in their world ... they don't even appear to care, which is quite possibly untrue, but unless they give us an indication how can we know?

I spent almost 8 hours with someone just like that today. During all the hours she talked almost non-stop I gained a lot of knowledge about her because I was listening, mainly because she either didn't allow me to talk or chose to ignore anything I managed to say. Although it irritated me at the time I came to the conclusion she has only recently become confident enough to talk as much as she does to a complete stranger but wasn't quite ready to respond to my interactions.

The question is, do I care enough to give her a chance? Do I give her time or a wide berth? My instincts at the moment are leaning towards the latter although questionable as it's likely I'll be spending 8 hours with her again on a regular basis.

I have no desire to become friends with this person, we have little in common except work. If I'm honest she really isn't someone I'd choose to spend time with and I doubt I would be her first or even last choice of company. What I have to decide is what is best for both of us under the circumstances and find some kind of common ground. This takes the kind of effort most aren't prepared to put in ... I doubt she is, so if it's going to work I need to make the effort.

I've been in this situation a number of times and know shutting off is the easiest option but gains only momentary satisfaction. Seeing the good in someone isn't always the easiest thing to do but I think it's true to say we can always find something if we try hard enough. As much as every part of my being is rubbed completely the wrong way by this individual I could easily write more than a paragraph about the good I already see in her. Is this a gift ... surely I'm not the only human on the planet to recognise good qualities in those who I'd not give the time of day if given the option?

These sites are full of those who just want a sounding board and pay lip service to other peoples worlds. I have shown every interest in people I've never even met but in time it either ends up a one-way street in their direction or I become surplus to requirements. I can't tell you how tired I am of this ... It's not a case of wanting something in return but I suppose I need more as time goes by, but in the meantime I feel there might still be something to be gained from seeing the good in everyone, even those who press all the wrong buttons.

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Blogs by BionicCouple: Sick Of Being Messed Around! Be Careful What You Wish For : Part 3 Be Careful What You Wish For : Part 2 Be Careful What You Wish For : Part 1 Should've Gone To Specsavers. The Freak Factor! Life is Just a Bowl of Sugar Boogers! Missing You! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MONTY! You Always Had My Back! Soul Deep Death Of A Friendship Stuck In The Middle With You ... You Never Know Unless You Try! Kids Do The Funniest Things ... Obama & The UK Taking A Different View! Letting Off Steam! I Talked To God ... SMOKING KILLS ... This Isn't About Me ... Or Is It? HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEDA! While The Mod's Away! Surrender! Attention Seeking Nasty Piece of Work ...