Lately I've been recieving emails asking me about The Slapping Lady who appears suddenly in my kitchen making toast. Many a time I have awoken thinking I was having a stroke only to find her in the kitchen.
The other day I was sitting in the livingroom lamenting how cruel it was that they cancelled the Howdy Doody Show when suddenly the Slapping Lady appeared and whacked me across the top of the head...
SNAP OUT OF IT BORT...she said with great clearity....THAT WAS FORTYFIVE YEARS AGO...DON'T YOU THINK IT'S TIME YOU FOUND A JOB?
I quickly jumped up and ran to the closet where I conduct experiments on my
extensive panty collection...nobodies gonna push me around ...I said to myself 
Thankyou for listening ...Professor Pan.T.Borty
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maggiemae684
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Oct 15 @ 7:43AM
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Borty....she be slappin' yah up the side of the head....because....it is ARRRRRRRGOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSS....    
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fallen_angel_2484
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Oct 15 @ 9:32AM
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I'm sitting here wondering if you have a comparable sense of humor, or if you are just really insane. Then again, seeing written word lacks the verbage to really be insightful about such things. After reading your 'slapping lady', I feel compelled to ask (my psycho-analysis), how's your relationship with your mother?
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SallyF
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Oct 15 @ 9:53PM
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 This is better'n old time radio shows---will The Slapping Lady be a regular character on Professor Borty's series?
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WitchQueen
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Oct 29 @ 12:07AM
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No offense, Borty baby, but I think the real conundrum here is the fact that this "Slapping Lady" was infiltrating your kitchen for her own *cough* toast-desires. Hell, did she even offer to make you a slice? I mean really, the freakin’ audacity of some hallucinations!
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