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In the year 2029

posted 10/15/2009 4:58:52 PM |
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  willy3411

20 years from now these will be the headlines.

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California
.
White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica . No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

Abortion clinics now available in every
High School in United States .

Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players is now nine feet seven inches with
only 3 illegitimate children.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030..

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent..
\
Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.

I Love This Country!

It's The Government That Scares Me!

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Comments:
RightWingRepublican

Oct 15 @ 5:07PM  
Roverboy

Oct 15 @ 5:27PM  
...you never know...

Next time you get a chance, watch the first "Robocop", and pay close attention tot he satirical news stories - and see just how close they actually are to real-life events that happened years later!


1880Texan

Oct 15 @ 7:01PM  
you sure that is 2029??? Not next year?
1frantastic

Oct 15 @ 8:06PM  
....er...as a Texican....I resemble that remark already....



lovestobake

Oct 15 @ 9:30PM  
They want to rule, but; what will they be ruling over! King of toliet bowl square.
aboxer100

Oct 21 @ 5:30PM  
Why worry we will not be here in 2029 - read up on 2012 to see the world will end then - hmmmm what kind of war will this start lol.
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In the year 2029