My mother and I have really never understood eachother. We live two completely different lifestyles. Neither bad, just different. I've always known that she loves me but had to do some deep soul searching to try and understand her thinking. It took quite some time for me to get past the feelings of rejection and come to a place where I could be at peace with it. My mother had me at a very young age and was obviously not prepared to be a mother. I understand that now.
We live in the same small town but have not spoken nor seen each other in 5 years.
Well yesterday, while picking up my daughters prescriptions at the local grocery store, low and behold, who do I run into? She does'nt even recognize me at first! Just walks right on by! As I'm debating on what to do, I decide, f*** it, you only live once and I'm not gonna miss out on this opportunity to maybe reconcile our relationship. I turn around, walk up to her and say hello. My daughter is wondering somewhere around the grocery store and I definately don't want her to miss out on this opportunity, so with VERY shaky hands, I pull out my cellphone and begin calling her. My daughter immediately finds us and our talk went surprisingly well! We did discuss possibly getting together in the near future.
We'll see!
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Blogs by rockerchick1968:
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| Even though we can't see eye to eye...........I still love her |
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Wing_Zero_75
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Oct 16 @ 9:51AM
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Just a thought, if you have any unresolved issues or questions for your mother, resolve them now. I was working on my mother that way and demanded answers to why she did what she did. She kicked off before I could get a couple of answers, so I will never know. Trust me, it will help you out a bit.
Larry
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edthepoet
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Oct 16 @ 10:24AM
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Yes, your in a tough places sadly.
Along as you don't try to win her approval all will be good, so many people try forever to win the approval of their parents and it never happen.
I do wish you the very best and I give you major kudo for being the better person,bravo
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rockerchick1968
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Oct 16 @ 10:32AM
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Thats great advice Wing_Zero, but unfortuanely I tried that in the past and it did'nt work. My mother is in complete denial and when I try to confront her she shuts down even more. So I've just had to accept her for what she is and just hope one day, for my kids sake, we can have some sort of relatioship.
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chevymn
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Oct 16 @ 11:20AM
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Reminds me of the time I sat down next to my grandfather at the parts store. About the fifth time he turned and looked at me I said "You not even gonna say hi to your own grandson?". My girls own mother is goin' on year two of no contact. She saw 'em once in January. I don't get those situations. Me and my dad hate each other and yet still manage to talk.
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kjac
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Oct 16 @ 11:41AM
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I'm having a similar problem with my own mother. She is the one wanting to reconcile.
Obviously I don't know the whole story, but I think it's great you're going to these lengths for your child. I seriously doubt you'll have relationship problems with her like you're having with your mother.
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fromscratch
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Oct 16 @ 12:18PM
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Hope the both of you can get a footing on common ground my friend.... 
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1frantastic
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Oct 16 @ 1:28PM
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My mother always prefaced her comments to me with "If you'd only...." which I did take as never being good enough or never doing what she thought was right....
This blog inspired me to write one of my own "hurt and healing".....
I still love my mama too...and understand...and forgive her for NOT understanding me.....
I was with her in her last months...changing her diahrehea diapers and doctoring the bedsores...showing her I did love her...and she finally appreciated me too....now she is gone...and those moments were precious.....ya see...I became "her mama" taking care of her.....
Don't give up!!!
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BionicCouple
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Oct 16 @ 2:06PM
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There comes a time when we decide whether or not we want certain people in our lives. Just because they're related to us doesn't mean they have a right to be a part of our lives. We shouldn't feel guilty if we don't want them around, there are usually good reasons. However, some of us feel a gap where that person should be and if we can accept our differences and the fact they're unlikely to change, it's possible to find some common ground.
I wish you luck, I really do, you clearly have a capacity for forgiveness and understanding, that's rare! I'm impressed. 
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pvdanoscar
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Oct 16 @ 4:21PM
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hi ISee you have a problem and a hope and if you can just keep it on that level and for the moment not expect anything more I think you have a chance to develop closer realtion. People are strange - my wife also got a baby at the age of 17 and she could not handle it, butmy mother interfered and that just went --to hell, she blocked complete and it was in and out of different hospital, so I just decied to let time work- thnak goodness. today everything is very much better and my mother can now accpet ( which she in fact did not do. at that time). My exwife ( now) can even vist my mother now with our chilkdren and things seems to have straighen out. probably has your mother "lost" to that man(father of your child) she could probably not accept that loss so she blocked you out to prevent her self from more damage( of course only an idea, but that happens rather often , I know.so keep up tohe good work , but NEVER metnion the problem it self - no one will ever admitt such an act -it too deep. Be just happy to see her again and bring with you your child as an "ice" breaker that will probably get your mother attention and she will hopefully come back to you via your child- I wish you all the best lif is not only easy, it is sometimes terrbile tricky
all the best from Jack in Norway
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misschoos
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Oct 17 @ 4:02PM
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My mother and I have really never understood eachother. We live two completely different lifestyles.
Same here, all we can do, is our best.
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