"Hi, I'm Funisnumber1 and I'm a Marketing/Advertsing Weasel. Its been 4 years since I created campaigns to brainwash you to get your money". I'm a reformed Marketing/Advertising Weasel, that is. That doesn't mean that I still don't jones BAD this time of year, twitching inside with ideas of all the ways I could manipulate the general population into making some company fat. Like your "friends" who quit drinking, found God and AA, and hopped up on a pink cloud insisting that life would be better for ALL of you if you only quit like they did, I did much the same to my friends and family on the evils of crass consumerism.
Thus, my New Rules. If they insist on participating in gift exchanges and such, I insist it be hand made or a give of a favor. If it came from a store, the rule was, I get to dogpile on them and bag on them until they cry. If they insist on sharing their beliefs with me, I get to share mine with them. My children, being grown and having been raised in my ex husband's family Christian church, have found my new rules somewhat of a downer, as you can imagine.
I'm peeved to hear folks use the verb "buy" with the noun "Christmas". You would think I would be proud of that accomplishment from the marketing and advertising community, eh? Hmmm, I guess in the way Nobel was proud of his dynamite concoction. (Lets not get THAT conversation started). It vexes me so to hear "I need that bonus so I can buy Christmas". Not Christmas Presents, not Gifts. Sort of sums up my whole feelings on the matter.
To me, the best thing about December 25 is that the roads are deserted, no traffic, its as if the USA stands still, everything is closed, no real commerce is happening, and makes for a great day for a car trip. Its pretty quiet out there. So good for you, Madison Avenue and the Christian Church! You made a day for me to enjoy a trip through the countryside relatively unmolested. It is, after all, all about me, right?
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Josuha
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Oct 16 @ 10:21AM
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If they insist on sharing their beliefs with me, I get to share mine with them. My children, being grown and having been raised in my ex husband's family Christian church, have found my new rules somewhat of a downer, as you can imagine.
Sounds to me if I was in your household, like you'd be better off taking a drive by yourself.
By your blog, you seem to be a downer..
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Mission_Impossible139
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Oct 16 @ 10:30AM
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I know you'll take that first comment with a grain of salt. He lives in guarded compound surrounded by high fences with razor wire but when Xmas comes, he runs to Neiman Marcus in his camo pants and spends mucho dinero. He ain't cheap and he ain't no downer!
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Josuha
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Oct 16 @ 10:34AM
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I know you'll take that first comment with a grain of salt. He lives in guarded compound surrounded by high fences with razor wire but when Xmas comes, he runs to Neiman Marcus in his camo pants and spends mucho dinero.
You forgot to mention my electronic genius, national artistic acclaim and a hero to old ladies and puppies.
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Mission_Impossible139
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Oct 16 @ 10:39AM
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and a hero to old ladies and puppies
Hell, I thought you ate puppies up there? Isn't that what was in the smoker?
As to eating old ladies.....I won't go there.
I didn't mean to say Neiman Marcus either. I almost forgot you lived in Orry Gone. Nordstroms loves you at Xmas right?
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Josuha
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Oct 16 @ 10:42AM
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I didn't mean to say Neiman Marcus either. I almost forgot you lived in Orry Gone. Nordstroms loves you at Xmas right?
Actually, I shop internationally.
However, everything is air dropped in.
Please place orders now as the pilot is usually drunk by the 23rd of December.
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Tunes4u
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Oct 16 @ 12:18PM
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Like your "friends" who quit drinking, found God and AA, and hopped up on a pink cloud insisting that life would be better for ALL of you if you only quit like they did, I did much the same to my friends and family on the evils of crass consumerism.
I love this....have a kudo on the rocks, from me..... 
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funisnumber1
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Oct 20 @ 5:32PM
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Thanks everyone, and especially you, Joshua.  I'm fairly certain my peeps are thinking the same thing about you hon.
Mele Kalikimaka!!!!!! Joyeaux Noel!!!!! Feliz Navidad!!!!! Matunda ya kwanza!!! Blessed Yule!!! Nollaig shona duit!!!! Gut Yontiff!!!! Marry Christmas!!!!!
Whatever you celebrate, I hope you do it with your whole heart, and the reason for your season and celebration rings true!
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