To wake among strangers posted 10/16/2009 3:51:15 PM | 9 kudos what's this?     report abuse tagged: possessions, life, memories

CHARLIgurl1

Laying in bed last night, unable to sleep.. AGAIN, my mind began wandering.

Its funny how many subjects one can think of, flashes of thoughts that are gone in a few seconds, the brain mulling over things in no particular order or reasoning.

I had been rearranging the ornaments in the house, I have a habit of becoming tired of the same view of the room, changing them and pictures around from place to place until I’m happy.. well for a while.

I realised that nothing here was from my home in England or Portugal, all bought here in the States, and while I do like them, none of them have any roots attached to them, nothing from the history of ‘me’.

All my things are still boxed up in Portugal awaiting shipment… something that will have to wait until we can afford it.

It’s funny how we attach ourselves to things, I thought as I watched another car’s head lights drift across the ceiling through the crack of the curtains.

My Great grandmothers china, left to me in my Nan’s will, a complete set all but the tea pot, they made them so delicately in those days that often the hot water would crack them which is why so many services are without them. My Nan would get it out when we had guests for tea, then would be carefully put back in the cupboard until next time.

My marble clock, left to me by my Grandfather, made in 1900 in Paris. It sat on my grandparents’ mantelpiece, its chimes of Westminster Abbey, rang out its tune every hour.

Jacko, the stuffed toy monkey I was given when I was three, he stayed with me throughout my life, and although he is old and battered, well worn and loved, I can never part with him.

My certificates framed of my academic accomplishments…

My brass framed photograph of my great grandmother when she was 18, taken in 1906, it sat on my Nan’s dressing table until the day she died, then Granddad gave it to me.

There’s a lot more, but these are just a few of my most treasured of possessions.

Moving half way across the world to be with the man I love, I do not regret for a single moment, I’d do it all again in a heartbeat.

Love, true love is hard to find, and as I said to a friend earlier today, it took me a while to trust again after an emotionally abusive relationship, but I am glad that I did, and am grateful for the very chance to do so.

Life we can make easy or difficult for ourselves, we are the keepers of our own destinies, when we make poor decisions or wise ones, either way we are in control of what we do.

Trust is not given freely; it is earned the same as respect.

And as my eyes became heavy, with thoughts of my grandmother singing her war songs and rhymes she learnt as a child, I wished I had recorded her as I struggled to remember all the words…

‘I don’t want to play in your yard, if you wont be good to me…”

And until my things are with me again, I have at least my memories and know they are safe, just waiting to be sent,

Until then, I will wake amongst strangers…

And who knows….

Maybe one day, these things will be thought of as being a part of me, …to someone else.





Here is a picture of me and Jacko when I was just three.



>>I'm the one on the right!<<

Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)

Blogs by CHARLIgurl1: Children of the earth. There's something in a name.. The keepers of our dreams... Toys! Yes... Men.. cant help but love em! Many faces.. Seeing the light... My MD tribute.. to my friends... "I told you so!" A blog about nothing.... Good news .. bad news.. cant decide. To wake among strangers Friends list or a members club....... A friend beneath the skin... Rainy and sad Monday. Rome and Caesar presents... Taking the time to remember... Mrs 'nice's rant! Before the candle dies.... As clear as day. Birthday/Christmas gift nightmares. Funny pooch When my home and your home… become our home. sleeping crocodiles