There's always a "last night". A time where you say something that is just so mind-blowing, so unbelievably rude that I just wait for Rod Serling to come up to me, talk through his teeth, and tell me I'm in the Twilight Zone, mostly because I can't imagine that a human who does not have Asperger's Syndrome would say a thing like that.
What do I mean by "last night"? By "last night" I mean that there's always a time when I'm hanging out with you, usually at night, and you just say something that's f***ed up. Something that's designed to "knock me down a peg". Knock me down from WHERE? What high horse do you think I'm sitting on?
Last night was another in a long, long series of "last nights". "Last nights" that have gone on for seven years now. Your clothing swap originally seemed like a great idea. A bunch of girls would gather together, bring their old clothes that they don't want anymore, and trade....ending in something that was great for everybody because they'd get a bunch of new stuff without having to spend money. Great, good, wonderful.
Then a bunch of people didn't RSVP, and no one ended up coming except me, Carianne, Patricia and Kate. I kind of felt bad because we're all size small....and well....you're not.
I brought some of my old extra large sized clothes for you so you could walk away with some clothing. And what did you do? Bitch your ass off cos you had the smallest pile out of everybody. Then you bitched cos no one was taking your clothes. Of course we weren't....nobody wants to swim in a shirt. Especially not me when I have this hourglass figure to show off. Which reminds me, the fact that you showed me a size large and remarked "Renae, this is more your size"? You know better than that. You've been clothes shopping with me. Sod off. You know you did it to hurt my feelings. I think it was obvious that I'm not a size large and you know it's obvious, too.
This is when the shit hit the fan. You proceeded to bitch at everyone in the room for having thinner bodies than you. Except for me, because I guess you're trying to drill it into my head that I'm still a "big girl"?
What position are you in where you can scream and bitch and comment about everyone else's bodies? All it does is let everyone know that you're miserable with yourself. It's not your body that's unattractive, it's your freaking 'tude. I'm sorry, but you're not the girl that will go out and get picked out as the "fat chick" even though you want to revel in being the "victimized fat chick". You never have been that, so shut up. I have. I have been more obese than you ever have been as long as I have known you. You know how you know when you're a fat chick? When you go out in public and people completely ignore your existence. You're the invisible woman....except when you eat. Then people watch your every move. It's like they're inspecting every little thing you put in your mouth. People will tell you that you're imagining it, but you know it's true. You just know. When you go into clothing stores, the personnel are snobbish and ignore you. They don't greet you with a smile, and when you try things on, they give you a look like you're gonna damage the merchandise. That has never happened to you. I know, I go out to clothing stores with you. Everyone is pleasant to you. No one watches you eat.
It wasn't just this "last night" that I've had to deal with your crap (along with my sister, and I'm sure Kate too), it was the "last night" a few weeks ago at Marshall's when you called me a "whore" cos I told you I don't buy my jeans in the Misses section, or wear a size 12. I told you I'm a size 9 and I buy my jeans in Juniors. Then you remarked that I'm probably making you fat because I can eat more and not gain weight, but it's not like that for you. How f***ing dare you? You blame your lack of self-control on me?
It was the "last night" when me, you, Carianne and Kelly were in Deb and I grabbed a size 8 to try on and a size small blue sweater, and she grabbed a size 7. Carianne grabbed a size 1. We were all "skinny whores" who you "hated".
It's for every freaking "last night" that you remarked how much you "hated me" cos I actually got off the couch and lost 80 pounds...finally got a body I'm proud of....I'm not bitter and miserable with me anymore. If you were really the friend to me that you like to say you are, you'd be happy for me. I guess you aren't capable of it.
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gypsy29
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Oct 18 @ 5:51PM
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Loosing weight is so hard. Having lost 40 of the (mumbling) lbs I need to loose. Good for you. I know what you were saying. And i'm sorry you have someone who is so jealous that in order to make herself feel better, she has to try to make everyone around her feel bad.
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warrior674
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Oct 18 @ 5:52PM
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I can't imagine that a human who does not have Asperger's Syndrome would say a thing like that.
I don't say rude things... 
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lazareth
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Oct 18 @ 5:54PM
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I sincerely hope that last night WAS your "last night" with her....
who needs to be around someone like that?
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1frantastic
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Oct 18 @ 6:07PM
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she is just still so down on herself she can't be happy for you...so be happy for yourself...and tell her straight out that you are not going to listen to her "pity party" anymore... 
You have been there...but YOU won that battle...and the war it seems...
A dress exchange is NOT a good idea with attitudes like that...
diet exchanges that work would be better..... 
keep up the body and mind re-couping....don't slip down the hatch to despair...especially when she wants the company there....
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edthepoet
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Oct 18 @ 8:40PM
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Yes, your right, she has no right to down you because the changes you have made, while she hasn't.
She needs work on her self-esteem and be very happy for you rather then attack you.
If I were you, I would tell her straight-up, that if she continue going down this road, then our friendship is going to take a break.
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oct_cat
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Oct 19 @ 3:25PM
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What kind of friend is that, that they just can't accept how someone is, the changes they go thru, etc??
My best friend of 40 yrs has always been bigger than me. There may have been times she wished she was smaller like all her other friends, but there were never any bad words between any of us. We encouraged when someone tried to improve themselves but we accepted them as they were & for the person they were inside.
My best friend may be 100 lbs heavier than I am . . . but all we see in each other are friends who are there for each other.
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